‘Pinpoint lasers spread around the perimeter, capable of destroying all of our dropships, but minimal living organisms have been detected. The energy signal is coming from a cave in the middle of the planet. Report ends.’
The Captain scratched his chin, deep in thought. He couldn’t send in any troops by air, nor could he bombard the place from the orbit in fear of destroying the weapon. That left him only one choice. Risky, but if nothing malfunctioned then perfect for bypassing their defenses. The Captain came to a decision.
“All Commandoes report to the teleportation room and prepare for an instant teleport. We’re going straight in, and we won’t be leaving unless we succeed, or die trying, so bring what you need,” the Captain shouted into his earpiece.
Within minutes, all the Commandoes were assembled in the teleportation room. The Captain split them into two teams.
“Blue team, led by me, will strike first and grab the attention of Zaragok. Once we’ve gotten his attention, Red team will come in and blow his head, I’m sorry, heads off. Lieutenant, you have tactical command of Red team. We’re going to be within range of the weapon, so try not to come in too late,” the Captain shouted over the buzzing sound of the teleporters.
~
Another alien hit the dust.
Blue team scanned the treetops for signs of more hostiles, but all was quiet. The Captain released his breath, unaware that he had been holding it. Blue team performed flawlessly, but he could not shake the uneasy feeling that something was going to go wrong.
Blue team cautiously made their way towards the caves, occasionally backtracking to throw off the possible stalkers.
Upon reaching the entrance of the cave, the Captain thought he saw the sunlight reflect on something shiny. He squinted at the place, but could not see it again. Must be my eyes playing tricks on me, he thought, before signaling for Blue team to enter the cave.
They reached a surprisingly bright cavern and at the far end of it, sat Zaragok.
“Welcome, my friends. I have been waiting for you for a long time. Now, seeing that I have you outnumbered, put down your weapons and surrender. I assure you that your deaths will be quick and painless,” he said.
The Captain scoffed. “We’re outnumbered? There’s only one of you, but ten of us,” he said. The Commandoes snorted, unsuccessfully trying to hide their laughter at Zaragok’s inability to count.
“Really?” Zaragok asked, “Think again.”
All around the Commandoes, aliens materialized, having been cloaked by an invisibility device seconds earlier. The Commandoes immediately went back-to-back, facing all directions. At first glance, the aliens were unbeatable, but after the initial moment of shock, the Captain saw that some of them did not even know how to hold their weapons properly.
“They’re amateurs. Engage!” he ordered. The Commandoes started firing at the aliens, who fired back. The Captain pulled out his sidearm and shot an alien in the head.
Unknown to the Commandoes, Zaragok was using the aliens as cannon fodder. While they were busy fighting each other, Zaragok used the distraction to charge the secret weapon. By the time the Commandoes took out the aliens and turned to face Zaragok, the weapon was fully charged and he fired it at them at pointblank range.
The Captain felt his gun drop to the ground beside him. His arms and legs moved of their own accord, despite his efforts to stop them. He just couldn’t stop dancing after being blasted by the Dance Ray! He knew what would happen next. Zaragok would entertain himself by watching them, but as soon as he got bored he would slit their throats while they were helpless.
Surely enough, Zaragok turned up the music and the beats of Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘Call Me Maybe’ came out from the hidden speakers. To his horror, Zaragok pulled out a microphone and started singing along.
“Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But here’s my number, so call me maybe,” Zaragok sang, head bopping with the music. His singing was terrible and off key. It was torture! Then, the song changed to ‘Gangnam Style’ and the Captain found himself dancing Psy’s idiotic dance.
Suddenly, a loud thump echoed in the cavern. Zaragok’s expression changed from glee to one of horror. He froze in place, then slumped onto the floor, a knife sticking from his back. The Lieutenant emerged from the shadow, grabbed the Dance Ray, and blasted them once more. The Captain was relieved to find himself in control of his body once more.
“Sorry we took so long, but we couldn’t resist watching you dance for a while,” the Lieutenant grinned. “The Head said that they were sending people to collect us, and that we were to stay here. Our ship is going to meet the fleet at the rendezvous point then bring them here,” he reported.
The Captain dipped his head in acknowledgement. There was a brief silence.
So what do we do now?” the Lieutenant asked.
The Captain smiled, and then blasted them all with the Dance Ray.
“Baby baby baby oh, baby baby baby no!” The noise of the soldiers singing and dancing along to the music echoed across the planet.
