Great expectations journal 4

I suddenly realise that everything is undetermined. At least I have the prior knowledge about when I will pass. Some individuals have the harsh misfortune of having no indication about their impending death. Then it hits me, who will remember me? The only way I will be remembered is as a criminal. I have made great impressions on the public to be remembered. After a while of pondering over the fate of my sprit on earth I recall the fact that no one will care about my fate.

As my time condenses, there are suddenly a variety of different and new ideas entering in my head from every part of my body hoping to experience the new as well as the old. I cherish the experiences that I have shared along side with Pip. He has been extremely loyal to me, but I wonder if my life might have had a different meaning under other circumstances. Despite those thoughts, there are no spirits that can help me fulfill a different destiny than the one placed in front of me.

I am not fearful about the unfamiliar, just perplexed about my being on this world. I can hear the murmur of unknown people with buzzing voices around the solid, plain room. I can only wonder who it is, because as I walk across the room, the voices enlarge and diminish, but there is nothing in sight. I look each way spinning myself like a top trying to figure out where these voices originate but I just end up seeing despair at all sides that I turn. All of a sudden the walls start to form vivid pictures of Pip helping me through my journey. I stop revolving and the same picture stays in my head. It is stuck on the walls. I left an imprint on the ceiling. Am I going insane? As I wonder about my own sanity, a swift sea of black consumes my life.

Word Count :  409 words