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Love, though influenced by many of the same factors as liking, is quite a different phenomenon. It is not simply an intensification of liking. The work of Zick Rubin 1970

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Introduction

PSYCHOLOGY OF LOVE Love, though influenced by many of the same factors as liking, is quite a different phenomenon. It is not simply an intensification of liking. THE WORK OF ZICK RUBIN (1970) Liking and loving are not identical. In 1970, psychologist Zick Rubin found some differences. Rubin concluded that liking consists more of respect - favorably evaluating the person - and perceived similarity - viewing others as being like you. In contrast, loving involves more: * attachment - feeling miserable without the physical presence or emotional support of that person * caring - a feeling of concern and responsibility for the other person * intimacy - involving the reciprocal exchange of personal information, feelings and actions Of course, you can both love and like the same person, whether or not it is a romantic relationship. In his study of 158 dating couples, Rubin found that both men and women loved each other equally. However, the women liked the men slightly more than the men liked the women. ...read more.

Middle

Who is responsible for household chores? Who makes the decisions? Regardless of the specific decisions, marital satisfaction is greater when the couples agree on these role decisions. Berscheid and Walster (1974) divide love into two main types: * Passionate love - Passionate love is exciting and involves intense emotions. Passionate lovers express their feelings physically and are intensely fascinated with each other (Myers 1999). Passionate love, however, cannot last forever. In fact, it appears to follow the same pattern as drug addiction (Myers 1999). At first a person feels a euphoria, a "high." At some point, however, he or she develops a tolerance and ceases to be as intensely stimulated as before. When this happens, the relationship cools down into companionate love. * Companionate love - Companionate love is steadier than passionate love and is the hallmark of successful long term relationships. Companionate lovers are deeply attached, feel affection for their partners, trust them, and are accepting of them and their faults. ...read more.

Conclusion

When all the elements are balanced, the most complete form of love - "consummate love" exists. According to Sternberg, that hardly ever happens. Usually people emphasize one or two elements, resulting in these types of love: "infatuated love" (high passion, low intimacy and commitment), "empty love" (high commitment, low intimacy and passion), "romantic love" (high intimacy and passion, low commitment), "companionate love" (high intimacy and commitment, low passion), "fatuous love" (high passion and commitment, low intimacy), "liking" (high intimacy present, low passion and commitment), and "nonlove" (all three components absent). Sternberg believes that in a particular relationship the components of love take different courses. For example, in a long-term relationship, level of passion goes down after it reaches a peak, but the level of intimacy keeps rising. And the two partners may not emphasize the same elements at the same time. For example, while one may seek mainly for passion, the other may seek for intimacy. For the relationship to be successful, the partners have to resolve their differences. EVALUATION OF LOVE RESEARCH * The theories remain largely descriptive and do not explain love * There is no agreed way of deciding which offers the best description ...read more.

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