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Never Again

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Introduction

Never Again Being a loner is not easy. But it's what my work requires. I worked for MOSSAD - yes the MOSSAD. As a contract killer. I never wanted to be one. I know it is morally wrong but I have to do it. More than I want to, I need to do it for money. It is my livelihood. Don't get me wrong on this. You have your duty, your work, your life, and likewise I have mine. You might ask me how do I have the heart to kill another human but think rationally, don't we all have to die someday? Like an old Chinese proverb says, "Never put off until tomorrow, what you can do today." Is dying any different? Dying before your mother's very eyes could be different but now I am in a hospital. Don't ask me which one. I don't even know how I am here in the first place, but I have a throbbing headache. I know I've got very little time now, because I know they will come - that's the way it works when you mess up a contract. I got my first 'contract' when I was an orphaned, meek, teenager roaming in the streets. A man in a black overcoat gripped my rough hands and dragged me into an alley then placed a pistol in my right hand and a bundle of 100 dollar notes in the other and gave me instructions to kill someone. ...read more.

Middle

I questioned- what was it that troubled me about killing? It was the thought of all the relationships and bonds that would be broken, all the heartaches that would be caused which was troubling me at the back of my mind. I realized what I had torn- a relationship of a mother and a daughter the hope, the dreams... It hit me like a bullet. I never got the love or had anyone to hope anything for me, I was never in anyone's dreams, I never knew... I never knew of such a relationship. I never realized this before because I was a loner. I was a loner and it is not easy being one. I cursed myself, put my gun on the ground and left the part of my life linked with the gun. To end with- my heart led the mind. The last thing I remember was walking away into the cold night with a sinking feeling in my heart, blobs of water rolling down my cheeks and a throbbing headache. I made a promise to myself to never again lift another weapon, when I collapsed. And now, just to make sure I keep my promise or truthfully, because I failed, they have come- the MOSSAD. Life has come full circle. Life has its own ways of getting back at you sumhow or the other wen u're in a cloud life'll punch u rite in the core to show how's the boss.. ...read more.

Conclusion

That was not a big deal, but as I was about to pull the trigger, from the corner of my eye I saw a movement - her young daughter came running towards her and she lifted her high in the air , but it was too late since I had pulled the trigger. The bullet caught her daughter right below the back of the head and the mother's whole world came crumbling down. I saw all that happen as if in slow motion - the bullet leaving the gun, hitting the daughter, and the mother crying and then like a flash of lightening it struck me - what was it that troubled me about killing? It was the thought of all the relationships and bonds that would be broken, all the heartaches that would be caused which was troubling me at the back of my mind. I never realized it before because I cannot share anything with anyone. I was a loner and it is not easy being one. I cursed myself, left my gun down on the ground and left that part of my life connected with the gun. The last thing I remember was walking away into the cold night with a sinking feeling in my heart, tears rolling down my cheeks and a very bad headache, as I made a promise to myself never to lift another weapon, when I collapsed. And now, maybe just to make sure I keep my promise or maybe because I failed, they have come.Life has come full circle. ...read more.

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