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Never Trust Kangaroos.

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He stirred, mumbled and began the usually gruelling task of waking up. It was hot, very hot and the one thing he didn't want was to be poked in the head by a rather large kangaroo. It's not that kangaroos were new to him, but that they don't usually poke you in the head. He stumbled awkwardly to his feet and leant against a boulder. Where was he? He thought, and why was a stupid kangaroo now staring at him? He looked around; sand, sand, rock, sand, stupid kangaroo, rock, sand. Okay, he was in the desert, or a desert, but how? He didn't remember. Why? He was hot, very hot and he was now aware of the sweltering heat pulsating down on him, cooking him along with his now very potent need for water. He was very aware of his unexplained hunger. He looked over to the kangaroo but it hopped away towards a cluster of trees in the distance. They seemed to offer shade so he went. The short man carried on following the kangaroo as it hopped away towards the trees and he watched on as the trees themselves started swaying and swirling and then disappear. The kangaroo just kept bouncing, on and on it went, taking no notice of the trees which had just disappeared 100 yards in front of their eyes. So the man carried on following the kangaroo to wherever it was going. Considering the kangaroo was ignorant of the fact that the trees had disappeared he was heading quite directly towards where they had been, the kangaroo stopped and so the man walked to his side to see why it had stopped. Directly in front of the kangaroo was a small group of large rocks. Hoping he wasn't hallucinating, the man attempted to engage the kangaroo in conversation. Even he thought this was a stupid idea, but considering what had just happened, he saw no harm in trying. ...read more.


"Hello stranger," she said, "you here to see the boss then? Well, you must be. It's the only way you could have got here. Oh no, how rude of me. I'm Lolita Freebush." she said, as if caressing him with her voice and fluttering her eyelashes. "Hello! I'm Andy. Pleased to meet you." he replied, a little startled. "I work upstairs with Monsieur Can-Can and his troop. They are very friendly, and so am I if you want me to be. I hope you haven't accepted Barney's offer. Have you?" she remarked hopefully. "I sure haven't." he stated strongly. "I should hope not. Back where you come from he was quite famous amongst children. He kept them in cages and poked them with long sticks every day. Then he ate them. He was so mean." She said. "Okay, well I'll tell you now, I am not interested in people who dress up as purple dinosaurs to entice children, I can assure you." he stated. "Well you know, I have a room on the second floor as well if you wouldn't mind sharing it with me and some of the other girls if you've got the money. If you haven't then go and get some sequins from Elvis over there. I'll accept them instead of money for your rent. I'll be waiting for you. " She said as she went back upstairs. As soon as she had gone, a ginger man wearing a bright tartan kilt walked over and sat next to him with a large glass of scotch whisky. "Twenty-five year old malt, this stuff is." he rambled holding the glass under Andy's nose. Andy nearly fainted with fumes. The noxious liquid smelled like de-icer mixed with petrol and definitely something dead. "Kept in a vat for 25 years and if we're lucky the odd rat falls in and drowns to add to the flavour. ...read more.


"Well considering you're rubbish at naming, I was thinking a 'Llama'. That sounds about right, don't you think." asked Daniel. "I suppose so. That's quite a good name." replied Andy. "Thanks. I think it's quite good myself." Daniel cheerfully exclaimed. Andy took a few steps back and leant on one of the consoles with many flashing buttons and screens all over it. As he did so, without, knowing it, the chinchillas all over the world became exceedingly vicious , grew huge fangs and went on a violent rampage, killing any humans in their way by biting of their ankles. Andy stood up and walked over to Good and said "Well, can I go home now?" "Nooo!" shouted Daniel. Everything went blank and then Andy woke up in his nice warm bed. Actually, he didn't. He looked around and on a shelf near by he saw a jar with a rather large knife next to it. In the jar, he saw something rather disturbing. He stared in horror as body-parts floated in the jar. The jar was full of toes. He was in Lolita Freebushes bedroom and she was standing over him with a large axe, all ready to cut off his toes. He groaned and raised his head. Then he screamed. Lolita cuffed him round the head with the axe to shut him up and everything went blank again. When Andy woke up again he was in back in Gods construction lab, with God leaning over him. "The llama fell on you. Sorry! I was only joking, you can go home really." God said. He went over to one of his consoles and pressed a button. "Bye-bye." Andy woke up once more. He was in his own bed at home. This time, it was real. Alone in his house as usual but something was wrong. He looked next to him. There was a rather large lump in the bed. He pulled the covers back. There in his bed, next to him lay a llama. "Blllalalelelala" announced the llama. On top of the llama lay a note saying. 'Cheers mate, yours sincerely God'. ...read more.

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