If I had any children of my own, for instance a set of twins, I would ensure they understood the basic rules from an early age. Like my parents, I would rule my house with a firm hand and any broken rules would guarantee a response. From an early age, I would ensure that my children understand that punishment is an act of love not hate and that it is the deed that is bad and not the child. I am a strong believer in appropriate punishment and feel that some times words have a greater impact on an individual than physical actions. As a result, the scale of the punishment would be governed by the intensity of the broken rule.
I have learnt from my own past experiences that every child goes through various stages in life and some of these stages involve experimenting with things like drink, cigarettes and drugs. I feel that during children’s teenage years, it is more of a habit rather than an addiction and can be stopped before it becomes serious. At this point, it is the parent’s duty to step in and ensure the safety of their child. If at all I caught my teenage son or daughter doing drugs or drinking, I would be forced to take them through the “three stages of punishment”. These are to hit them in order to ensure there is no repeat performance, lecture them to ensure they understand why they are in trouble and finally discuss with them why they did it in the first place. Although it might seem slightly harsh, I feel an autocratic approach would be most effective.
However, there are some rules that are not quite as serious as others. These include rules such as the children’s curfews and the way they dress. It would be more important for them to understand why these rules have been set for them to follow rather than just blindly follow them because they have been told to do so. This is mainly because I feel that children under sixteen have no reason to be out at night regardless of their sex. This is mainly because there is nothing “productive” in the night that can not be done during the day especially by children of a young age. If this rule was broken by either of my children, I would have a “one on one” discussion with them and try to understand what exactly they were thinking at that time. On the other hand, I feel that the rule about dressing appropriately would not apply to my son because I feel that the way boys dress has no impact on the way they are viewed by society. However, it would be my responsibility to make sure that my daughter dresses the right way and understands the correlation between dress code and self respect.
Finally, I would make sure that both my children understand the golden rule which is “respect”. Under no circumstances would I permit them to talk back at me or anyone else who is much older than them. If at all they broke this important golden rule, I would have to hit them and skip all other verbal stages simply because they have to understand its importance.
I feel that the only way to build good character in children is by being firm but at the same time attentive. This way they will be able to tell right from wrong and sail successfully through life. They will have the ambition to become someone in life if they are taught from a very early age. I also believe that children are like blank canvas and it is you the parent who paints the picture.
