Original writing - Sunshine in the rain.

Holly Budgen 10G

Coursework

Sunshine in the rain

I wanted to start my story with “It all began one day when…” but I can’t. Things have been like this since before I can remember- I can’t remember when it all began. It doesn’t really bother me I suppose, but at times like this I launch into a plea of self-pity, getting myself totally depressed. It’s not like I know anything else. Other ways of life are alien to me. The television shows a window of surreality. Where Mummy cooks tea for Daddy when he comes home, and little Daniel, (that’s me) sits down at 6:00 to do an hour of homework. My school friends and everyone close to me in my life live like this. I never have.

I don’t hate my life that much the way it is. I have learnt through the years to be grateful for what I have. Sometimes I wish that I lived in a normal family. Where everything was ordinary. There were no surprises, like last year when suddenly we had to sell our house and move to this council flat that I’m in now.

I’m abnormally depressed today; normally these petty problems don’t bother me, who wants to be the same? I always tell myself that, at least I have some individuality in my life. Maybe a little too much. What’s really on my mind is what will happen today. It’s quite a big day actually, well for me it is. It’s September the 8th and it is my first day at middle school. What I thought would happen; well I never really believed it would, but I hoped mum and dad would walk me there. I would walk hand in hand with them, in my stiff new uniform, with a lunch box in my hand. We would arrive at the school gates. Dad could say something like; “Work hard son, and be good,” Mum could laugh and say “have fun Danny.”

Somehow I don’t think that will happen. I suppose I’ll walk myself to school alone today. Mum’s working, and she’s forgotten to order my new school uniform. Dad will be tired, because he only gets to sleep at four in the morning. He works nights at the cereal factory down the road, and Mum, well I call it working but she doesn’t really have a job. At least she doesn’t get paid. See it’s really hard for mum to find a paying job. She’s not really all that good at reading, or writing, or adding up, anything like that really. That’s part of the reason we’re here in the first place.

Mum used to work as a receptionist down at the local hotel; it was a great job, with really good money Mum said. But the thing was Mum had to lie about her reading and writing. It was only a little white lie, because we really needed that money. And Mum got away with it for about six months. Eventually the boss realised why Mum was so slow, and she was out. And that’s when we had to move here. We weren’t getting enough money for the rent anymore. Things are okay though, for a while Dad paid for Mum to have lessons, but that got too expensive for us, so now Mum keeps busy by volunteering at the shelter down town.

This is a preview of the whole essay

I’m lying on the sofa in the sitting room of our council flat. The streetlights are making amber patterns on the wall. It’s cold because the heating is broken in here, and my Man U duvet isn’t keeping me warm. I’m quiet content lying here shivering. Knowing I have a little while before anyone can take me. A car screeches past the window, illuminating my street, and the clock beside me beeps 7:00. I don’t mind- I can survive school. In fact it should be quite fun. I’m sure I’ll make friends. Okay so I’m lying. I’m dreading school. My old primary school was great- I was too young to remember my first day, but I’d been all right. I was friends with a few guys, who although different from me in almost every way possible, accepted and got on pretty well with me, and I felt a sense of independence, paying for my own school dinners and walking alone to school. But it wasn’t as bad then. I was the oldest year at school, with no harder people to pick on me. It was easier at home too. Our old house was great; quite a big three-bedroomed terrace house, on the outskirts of town. I could concentrate there. But our new council flat only has one bedroom. I sleep on the sofa in the sitting room. It’s quite comfy really it’s just that it’s hard to concentrate with the neighbour’s loud music banging on until one in the morning. It’s a bit scary too, walking around the corridors at night. When the shadowy corners are nearly always home to some high teenager.

I am torn from my thoughts as I hear Dad snoring in the other room. I stop breathing, and can here the silence louder than ever. I hear his slow intakes of breath, and Mum creeping across the hallway. I allow my self to breathe again. There are shouts from the corridor. Normally I’d be scared, but Mum pokes her head through the door. I smile at her. Her blond hair glows in the street light, and her smile brings me back to reality. All the worries that weigh on my mind seem stupid now-

“Come on Danny,” Mum says, “it’s time to get up.” Mum smiles again, and then leaves. I slowly raise myself from the sofa. Wishing I could stay, I pull back the duvet, and walk to the middle of my room. The air is cold, and I shiver silently as I motionlessly gaze around me. It will be all right today I tell myself. My teeth are beginning to chatter, and shake. I swear there are icicles growing from the doorway. I quickly pull on my school uniform. It is my old grey primary school uniform. Full of memories of my old school friends, who have all moved away now to go to the county boarding school, down the road.

I’m cleaning my teeth at the kitchen sink when Mum enters the room. She’s dressed for work at the shelter so I know my dream of us walking to school won’t happen. But I am happy she’s here with me.

“Mornin’, I muffle as toothpaste spits out of my mouth. Mum laughs at me, as if she’s read my mind, she asks;

“I’m sorry I can’t take you to school today Daniel. I know you wanted me to.” How did she know? “ It’s busy, down the shelter, a lot of volunteers have quit over the summer.”

“Oh right” I say. I feel really bad with myself, guilty because I know mum has to work. I was being selfish.

“Daniel?” she questions, “you are happy aren’t you?” I almost choke on the toothpaste. I’m surprised. Mums never asked me that before. Like I said my life is full of surprises, and Mum often asks me things that really make me think. But this question stumps me. “I know the house isn’t great, and Dad and I are often out. I know you were having problems at school last term. But we’ve got each other. And we are happy, aren’t we?” I think about this for a moment. I’m sure Mums right. She always is,

“ Yeah, ‘spose so,” I’m not in the mood to think about it properly. So I pour out my Weetos, and forget about it. Mum leaves the room, apparently satisfied with my hurried answer. I’m feeling a bit sick, and I think it’s the Weetos. I used to love them, but I eat them every day now. The chocolaty sugar, which used to appeal to me, now makes me feel ill. Dad gets them free with his job, so I’m not complaining. Eating my breakfast, I am all right. I’m quite looking forward to today, in a strange way. Well not really. It’s like a roller coaster. You’re scared when you’re queuing. But it’s like the way you feel just when the safety bar comes down; just when you know there’s no turning back. It’ll be scary, but you get excited, in a strange kind of way. That’s how I’m feeling now.

“Oh my God!” I’ve just looked at my watch. It’s five to. Mum shakes her head. She pulls me towards her. I notice her familiar smell as she kisses me on the cheek.

“Have fun at school Danny.” I grab my school bag and shout to dad. Then I’m out the door.

When I step outside the flat’s corridor it is raining. It’s quite cold today and this is a shock to me. The summer holidays have ended, but it doesn’t mean summer has to. I used to like walking to my junior school in the rain. It was a thirty-minute walk and it gave you a chance to get properly wet. You could miss lessons drying yourself. Tom, the boy down my street used to do this with me sometimes. I liked that, but Tom’s at the private boarding school now, and he’s moved away into a cleaner neighbourhood. This new school is just up the street; a five-minute walk away. I have little time to get wet, and no friends to walk with.

I’m thinking about breakfast. Not the Weetos, but something Mum said; what was it? Oh yeah about being happy. Sometimes I think I really do know Mum, but then she comes out with something like that. How could she have known that all those things were on my mind? I swear she’s psychic. I really do love the way she does that sometimes. She knew I was upset, even though I didn’t really realise myself. She even knew I was worried about school. Our family sure is unusual. A rain cloud moves for a second, and the road is filled with sunlight. The leaves and grass seem golden. It’s one of those rare days, when it’s two different weathers at the same time. Sunshine in the rain. I like that, because it’s unusual. And I find unusual things, like that, a comfort in a way. Knowing that I’m not the only one. Something about it reminds me of us. When the sky looks grey and miserable, all of a sudden, like a burst of sunlight, things get better. And even though it’s still raining, the sunlight makes everything; even the raindrops; turn golden.

I’m walking through the school gates now. There’s something familiar about this place. Although I’ve only walked past it before, it seems similar in some way. I’m not late as there are still crowds of kids talking and laughing. It’s a lot louder than my old school, and there are a lot more people around. I make my way to the entrance. And I’m surprised; no one turns around to gawp at me. It’s like I already fit in somehow.

The hall is warm, but I keep my coat on. I feel stupid wearing this old uniform. The Middle school uniform is grey too, but I don’t want the feeling of belonging here to disappear. I am making my way over to a crowd of what seems to be the new kids, when I notice there aren’t that many parents around. I can only make out a few chatty adults over here, which really shocks me. Maybe I do belong here. There are quite a lot of kids around really. Almost double my old year at junior school. It feels like hours while I stand here feeling awkward. But a lady, who looks like a teacher comes over.

The lady is called Miss Grant. She tells us we will have to wait a while, because the teachers are busy at a meeting or something. I sit down on one of the chairs at the side of the hall. Some of the children are making polite conversation with each other, but with the few parents gone the hall is a lot quieter. Looking around. I’ve just realised that half the kids aren’t wearing this school uniform. Just the children here tell me that this will be totally different from my last school. A lot of their hair isn’t brushed perfectly, and some have the top buttons of their shirts undone. I like that, I used to hate the pristine appearance you were forced to have at junior school. In my thoughts, I haven’t noticed I am the only kid sitting down. But a boy comes over to join me. He sits nervously on the seat next to me. I smile at him.

“What’s your name..?”

“Hello…” How embarrassing! We both speak at the same time, but the other boy starts laughing. I laugh too, and my nervousness is forgotten.

“I’m Danny,” I say,

“Johnny,” he says. Johnny has dark brown hair, a bit like mine, but neater. And dark eyes; he looks like a nice guy. “Where you from?” Johnny asks, my mind flashes back to my old school. I don’t want to answer that, he’ll realise I’m different from him in every way; he won’t want to be friends with me anymore. I bet he lives in some detached, ten bed-roomed mansion.

“Oh, the err, the err council estate. The flats near Iceland.” I mumble. Johnny looks thoughtful for a moment,

“My God? The Cresthaven block, next-door to the supermarket?” He asks smiling; I’m a bit confused.

“Yeah,” I mutter.

“I live there too!”

So school turned out to be great. Johnny says he’s having a party next week and I can come. My form teacher’s called Mr Patterson. He’s old, but quite sweet really. He brought us all a king sized mars bar to say welcome. I met a few of Johnny’s friends as well. They live in my flat too. They’re really nice. I walked back with Lara from school today. She lives on my floor and her parents work all the time, like mine. We’re quite similar. Most people I’ve met today are pretty similar to me. I know the flats a big place but I can’t believe I’ve never noticed any of them before.

I’m watching TV now at home, Mum is still working and Dads getting ready for work in his room. I’m thinking about breakfast again, Not the Weetos, but Mums question. I have decided, especially after today at school, that I am happy. I like my unusual “sunshine in the rain” life. Every thing about it!

“How was school? Get you working hard did they?” Dad says walking in. I smile, but before I have a chance to answer, the phone is ringing. I pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, is that Danny? It’s me Johnny. Just thought I’d ask. I’m not doing anything tonight, so if you want to come round my house. I want to try out my new play station with someone?” I’m so pleased. I don’t think any of my friends have called me up before. Things seem different at this new school, and it’s only my first day! I’m sure things are just gonna get better!

“Sure, I’ll be over in five!”