James Blunt’s “You are Beautiful” was the song Anne was listening and also singing along with on the CD player. The music was so loud that it was almost impossible to hear anything or concentrate because it was very distracting. As she slowed down to concentrate on the road, her car went over a bump. The car bounced so rapidly that Anne didn’t notice the CD player had switched off and the radio was turned on. The noise in the car wasn’t as loud as before (when the CD player was on) but she still couldn’t concentrate because she was in sudden shock at what she heard on the radio.
All of a sudden, the silence was shattered by a newsreader, who started speaking quickly and in a shivering way. His first words were “killer on the loose …escaped from prison an hour ago … in his 40s … large dark eyes, short dark hair … charged with rape and murder of a young beautiful woman in her 20s.” Then he went on to talk about how dangerous he was. Afterwards he said, “If you see him call 999”, and finished the newsflash by saying, “Do not go near him!”
After the news the whole car was noiseless for a few seconds, Anne was imagining where the killer could be and what he could be doing right at this moment. She hoped that they could catch him and felt sorry for the people who were outside. She shuddered, drove the car faster and was pleased to be in her car safe and well.
The narrow road got narrower and narrower as she drove along the deserted road. The car started making all sorts of noise and the speed of the car decreased rapidly. She began to worry because she was in the middle of nowhere and her car had broken down. She pulled over to see what the problem could be, but out of the blue a small light appeared on the other side of the road and she began to walk over towards it, shivering and scared.
When she got close to the light, it turned out to be a garage. She was happy on the outside but shaking on the inside because it was a spooky and creepy garage and a black dark shadow was getting closer and closer to Anne. Her hands and legs started to shiver rapidly because Anne thought he was the killer who just escaped from the prison. The car which was a few yards away from Anne was still making those squeaky noises and when the shadow man arrived next to Anne, suddenly the car stopped making the noises and there was dead silence between Anne and the shadow man.
Continuity: Get her into the car so that the order makes sense.
The man was in his 40s, wearing dark blue trousers, a white t-shirt and a black hat which only covered half of his head. The man looked terrifying with his large dark eyes, short grey hair and his white shirt which had turned black because of petrol and mud from the cars. Anne thought it was a terrible idea to stop but the terrible man was her only hope of getting out of this nightmare. The man opened the bonnet of the car and started looking inside but much of his attention was on Anne. However, Anne was so scared that she sat inside her car watching every move of the terrifying man.
All of a sudden, the man looked up, slammed the bonnet very hard and started coming (ADVERB!) towards Anne. As he tried to open the driver’s door, Anne kicked the door back into his face because she could not lock her doors, at this movement of the time she wished that she could have spent all the money fixing the door locks than buying the golden necklace and the diamond ring. She screamed as loud as she could, but there was no one to hear her cry for help because she was in the middle of nowhere and she wondered to herself if she could ever get away alive from this terrifying man.
The man finally managed to grab hold of Anne by her hand and put his hand over her mouth. He tried to pull her away as far as he could from the car, but she wouldn’t stay still. He was trying to tell her something. Anne thought he was going to kill her. As they moved away from the car, the man let Anne go. She hit the man and he dropped to the ground unconscious.
She was in shock. She didn’t know what to do,(Be clear & logical) firstly she checked to see if there was enough fuel in the car for her to escape but her tank was empty. Anne could see the man getting up; she filled her tank up as quickly as she could and sat in her car, she was happy to be in her car. She saw the man running towards her car through her inside mirror but she started the car and drove away, she could her man pointing at the bonnet and shouting something but she does not care. She is saying to herself that she is a life e and well and she wants to get as far away from this place as possible. The man was actually warning her about the escaped prisoner who was hiding in her back seat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
