Despite me being well accustomed to the room by day, by night nothing seems familiar, it gives the impression that each object is holding its own devilish secret. A dim light threw fiendish shadows across the room confusing and distressing me. Normal sounds cast sinister thoughts in my head; visions of viscous creatures that lurk in the gloom surrounding me fill my mind. Panic takes hold of me. My imagination running wild. New thoughts, new feelings. Overwhelming me. Control leaves. No escape.
Pulses of pain run through my head, whilst cold slowly creeps up through my body stealing all warmth left. Shivering I try to push myself up, yet my muscles seem to reject me, not responding when to my attempts to move. Claustrophobia quickly envelopes me making my mind go into overdrive, desperately I try to move about, waiting for even the slightest movement from my body. Even when I put all my energy into moving the smallest limb nothing happens, it’s as if my body has died and yet my mind continues still living yet powerless. A sweet perfume wafted up my nostrils dispelling the pain coursing through my head; nevertheless the smell sent a new sensation through me. Something I can’t quite put my finger, nothing like the clean artificial air of the prison, something different. Whilst trying to discover what the scent it sent old memories flooding into my mind, it was the sugary scent of nature.
A sense of nostalgia filled the air, fields, grass, trees, hedges. Recollections of running wild, throughout the countryside. Learning to ride a bike. Breaking my arm. Building a tree house. And now this, how can one idiotic moment lead to years of being trapped in this hellish nightmare? That delightful aroma only increases my sense of enclosure and longing for the outside world, just one day outside to breathe in that fresh, unmarked air, to smell the fragrant pollen being carried away from the exquisite flowers it came from. To see the sparkling morning dew glisten on a stunning spiders web, to feel the clear, icy water rush past my fingertips on its way to the sea. To taste the first blueberry of spring’s juice burst into my mouth exploding my tongues taste receptor’s with its sweet tang. But reality comes flooding back to me reminding me once again that I'm here in my dark, damp, cramped, cell staring at the empty bulb, with not even the slightest hope of dare I say that word. Escape.
Silently a spider descends from its hiding place between a small crack in the ceiling approaches its prey frantically trying to break away from the gooey net which ensnares awaiting its death from the great black beast’s terrifying pincers oozing with lethal venom. Watching this I wish I could be that house fly as although it was about to die at least it would be quick and without pain it did not have wait while its mind slowly turned senseless from looking at the same four walls, the same drip from the faulty pipe, the same revolting fungi covered toilet, it’s as if I’m a animal being held captive against its will. No worse. Once again anger bubbled through uncontrollably released by hurling the closest thing possible.
The food ridden tray smashed into the cold stone wall sending shards of plastic flying around the room. At least now there was some excitement in the room, a bit of colour. But if one of the wardens saw this I would be forced into solitary ten times worse than anything in this cell it’s like there’s no world outside the room around you. Gradually I managed collect most of the pieces scattered around the room, however as lean over pick a particularly large bit off the narrow window sill another strong blast of the winter cold gale sweeps over seeming coming straight from it. With the help of the early morning sunlight I can see what I did not earlier and that between the frame and the wall lays a gap where some of the wall has been worn down after time just large enough to make the window unstable. Using one of the metal forks left from the evening meal I slipped it into the gap and using all my strength pulled. Nothing moved.
Rage engulfed my mind converting every piece of hate and anger I feel into strength, and once more I pulled using every ounce of effort to try and free the window. Movement, I could feel that slight budge under my fingers and saw the crack widen, hope now entered my mind. Throwing away the fork I got a firm grip with my fingertips and heaved with even more vigour. Now I could hear the concrete start to break, letting a sliver of light shine on me, despite the blood starting to trickle down my hands and the pain that came with it I continued to pull, determined.
Snap. The window came away in my hands stained in blood but I didn’t care, as in its wake there lay a gaping hole leading to what I had been dreaming of. Escape.
