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Worries in a brown paper envelope.

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Worries in a brown paper envelope. The brown envelope blowing in the wind.I looked at the seal and remembered the same day, same time one week earlier. It was as if my life was not happening to me but was been lived and decided for me. That day one week ago would stay in my mind forever; I remember I walked into the surgery pale and shaking. I softly spoke my name to the lady on the desk and took a seat. I sat on the cold metal chair thinking of all the times I had heard of women getting cancer, but had never even taken a minuet to think about it. I chewed anxiously at my nails, telling myself over and over again in my head that everything would be okay. ...read more.


I had not told any of my family any of this, what I was facing, what I was afraid of, what was happening. After all the tests were complete I was told to go away and come back in 7 days, how could I wait a week, 168 hours to determine my future. If the test came back positive I had to make an appointment at the hospital as soon as they came through if they were negative I had to make another appointment at the doctors to have more tests. The next week dragged by, I left the house no more that three times, only to get essentials. I spent most of my days looking out at the world revolving around me, drizzle and wind blowing round like my emotions. ...read more.


I walked over to the receptionist, asked for my results and was handed a dull brown envelope sealed tight with CONFIDENCIAL printed in bold across the front. So now here I am with the wind blowing the envelope, my left hand clutching my future. Then I asked myself if I wanted to know if it was positive I would rather not know and live the days I have left happily and without fear, and if it was negative then I wouldn't want to risk opening it and finding, positive inscribed on the front to be sure if it was negative. So I raised the envelope to the wind took a deep breath and let go of my worries, let go of my determined future, I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, for the first time that week I felt free. Emma White ...read more.

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