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Write an article to persuade a teacher to apply for your school

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Introduction

When teachers apply for a job at a school, they receive a pack containing information about the school. Write a section of this pack in which you, as a student, try to persuade teachers to come and work at your school. Acklam Grange School is a Specialist College of Maths & Computing. This means that the school has a high reputation of success in these subjects, and as such it receives additional funding to further the enhancement of them. Acklam Grange has recently received a new school building, courtesy of Building Schools for the Future, a program organised by the Labour Government. ...read more.

Middle

These cards can be used with readers around the school, and are used by staff and pupils alike to facilitate the process of things such as purchasing lunch, printing, and accessing areas that have a restricted access list - such as the administration block. Pupils in the school take part in groups which are supported by staff, and have included the Mock Court Case, Team 2010, and Gang Green. These groups aim to support a pupil voice and have been very successful. All of these groups would not be possible without the staff that are passionate about pupil involvement. ...read more.

Conclusion

The system is very effective, ranging from verbal warnings to isolation during lessons. This allows them to individually decide upon the severity of the punishment which is reinforced by the generic policy guidelines. Pupils in the school are encouraged to be polite, and can potentially be chosen to perform duties that give them training and additional items to put on their CV. These perks can range from being chosen to be a Prefect or Senior Prefect, to being selected to represent the school at events or competitions around England. I would encourage you to explore the opportunities available at Acklam Grange and I wish you luck in your job application. ?? ?? ?? ?? Darren Melroy English 11Y1 ...read more.

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Here's what a star student thought of this essay

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Response to the question

This is a good answer. It is clear and has a fair sense of direction when trying to persuade the potential teachers to apply for the school. My only quandary is the actually persuasion techniques are a little dwindling in ...

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Response to the question

This is a good answer. It is clear and has a fair sense of direction when trying to persuade the potential teachers to apply for the school. My only quandary is the actually persuasion techniques are a little dwindling in numbers, which also gives the answer a slightly more factual presentation, with little overall cohesion connecting the points together other than the fact they all evolve around Acklam Grange School. This isn't to sat here is no persuasion at all, but it seems to work better as an informative piece and loses it's power as a persuasive piece due to the lack of explicitly persuasive devices. As a result of this, I would like recommend the candidate go over the available persuasive techniques that can be used when trying to persuade.

Level of analysis

The Level of Persuasion is a little poor, but there is a good suitability for the audience. The candidate does write with a style nicely suited for the intended audience but the actual persuasion is lacking. The candidate's answer would be better suited overall though if they grouped together conducive paragraphs because as it is, this candidate does not give any inclination that what they're saying is ordered and the persuasive techniques are implicit at best. Whilst it could be argued that the teachers are already engaged in trying to apply for the job and so need little explicit persuasion, I still recommend that the candidate attempt to incorporate a lot more persuasive techniques like hyperbole, imperative, rhetorical questions, triples etc.

Quality of writing

The Quality of Written Communication is very good. The candidate makes a good effort to form and answer with good control over the grammar, spelling and punctuation. There is no cause for concern raised here.


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Reviewed by sydneyhopcroft 13/09/2012

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