put it on when they are getting married, but these days, people put it on for fun. She also
learned how to get an Indian bride ready by doing her make-up, hairstyles, henna, and
putting the sari on the bride.
She is very adaptable because when she married my dad, she moved to London.
She had never before been to London but she adjusted quite well into the different
lifestyle. For example in India, there were servants to do your wash your dirty clothes and
swept the floors (because only the rich people have carpets in India). Here she realised
she has to do all jobs herself. Married at the age of nineteen, she came to London and
found that my dad (because he was a student) was not living in a house but in a rented
room. She did not complain but settled in and started to think about how she would try
and earn some money and buy a house. She did not want to buy a house just for herself
but because she was planning to have a family with children and she wanted her child to
be born in a house. My mum learned how to drive and found a job in a factory. She
realised that this was very hard work and she was educated, so she might be able to get a
better job with a higher pay. She then found herself a job in an Indian sweet shop. Both
my parents did overtime at their jobs and they finally had enough money to buy a house
and a car.
My sister was born in 1984 and my mum was overjoyed. When my mum was
pregnant with me, she went for a scan and the nurse could not see my left arm. After a
week there was another scan but even then there was no sign of my left arm. The nurse
thought that there was a possibility of me being born with disabilities. So they said to
mum that she might want an abortion if she did not want a handicapped child. Shattered,
my mum’s hopes were all destroyed. She was confused and did not agree with abortion
and decided that she would keep me, even if I were handicapped. This brought an extra
closeness in our relationship.
Another good element in her personality is that she is tolerant. She tolerates my
dad’s mood swings and tries to adjust her ways of living to keep him happy. She also
tolerates me when sometimes I do not listen to her.
She is also a very good listener. She listens to everything I have to say and also
she understands and advises me on my feelings. She also listens to everything my
grandmother tells her and is very obedient. For example when my mum has made a
mistake in making a curry then my grandmother tells her how to improve it next time and
my mum always picks up on it and obeys.
My family consists of my parents and my sister. My sister is my dad’s ‘little girl’.
Whenever we, as a family are discussing a topic, we always end up with different views.
My dad and sister have the same views and my mum and I have the same views. We
end up having debates and it is always my mum and I who win. I often say to my mum
that, ‘great minds think alike’.
However there are bad points about her, and that is that she gets stressed very
easily. Every evening when she comes back from work, she is grumpy but then she
becomes relaxed in an hour. I think it is quite acceptable for her to be like that because
she works very hard and also has many jobs. Her main day job is as a benefits fraud
investigator. This is where she investigates if people are taking wrong benefits for the
wrong reasons. An example of a case she handles is when a married person is taking
benefit as a single parent.
She also tutors children from the age group of 6-12 in the evenings for their 11+
exams. As I have mentioned earlier in the essay, she had teaching experience in India
and therefore this job is running successfully. She also becomes a beautician at the
weekends. She has a very busy life and I know it is all for my family.
Since I was a child I have always wanted to be like my mum and also look like her,
but unfortunately I have ended up with my dad’s looks. I also wanted my mum’s
personality because of her tolerance, determination, hard work and her good habit of
looking ahead. Recently we bought a bigger house and my mum was the one who
wanted to buy it and therefore she saved up money so we can buy it. She thought a long
way ahead before buying this house and planned out how we will sell the old house. Now
she is planning ahead extension for this house. I love my mum and I can never be
separated from her because recently she went to India for three weeks and I was very
upset. There was not a day when I did not remember her. I am very grateful that God
has given me a mum like her.
