Venez Visitez Londres!
J’habite à Kingsbury. Il y a un beau parc, des magasins et des banques. Il y a aussi une gare et une église, mais il n’ya pas de piscines. Il y a aussi beaucoup d’écoles un grand lycée et plusieurs écoles primaires. Il y a une trés grande colline et bien sûr beaucoup de circulation surtout le matin et le soir. À part de ça c’est une ville assez calme et tranquille.
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Peer Reviews
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Quality of writing
Quality of writing Spelling and grammar is of a high standard, with some minor errors ("il fact" is used once, instead of "il faut"), but the candidate demonstrates elsewhere that they have a solid grasp of the language and I feel that these errors would largely be overlooked. There is overuse of "il y a" particularly in the first paragraph, perhaps "il existe" could be used instead sometimes? The candidate shows some use of more advanced tenses (the present conditional and imperfect are both used), but a personal rule I try to stick to is to have three examples of a particular grammatical structure in an essay, to show the examiner that you aren't just using a set phrase, and this would have helped a little.
Level of analysis
Level of analysis The candidate has given a detailed description of Kingsbury and the various attractions in and around the area, and given opinions on some of the places described. More developed opinions on a few of the points, particularly the museums would improve the essay, and perhaps describing some other attractions of being so close to London (shopping, for example) but the essay is very strong overall, and above-average for GCSE level.
Response to question
Response to question The candidate gives a very informative and detailed response to "Advertising My Local Area", with some evidence that the intended audience and purpose of the essay has been taken into account (see the title, the last sentence), although at GCSE level this is not particularly important. The inclusion of a wide range of amenities is a strength of this essay.
