• Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

Relationships begin and relationships end

Extracts from this document...

Introduction

The 17th century metaphysical poet John Donne penned the immortal lines: "No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe" (sic) (Microsoft Corporation 1998). These words capture eloquently the fact that human existence, almost without exception, involves interaction with another. And in that interaction, a relationship exists. Relationships begin and relationships end. The relationship may be enjoyed, relished, celebrated, or simply endured. When a relationship ends, there may be relief, acceptance, even joy. But for many, the ending of a relationship is not what was wanted by at least one of the people involved. A break-up may signal regret, resentment, guilt, anger, dismay or distress for that person. In such circumstances, they may struggle to resolve their inner conflict and ultimately seek the help of a professional counsellor. It is such un-satisfactory relationship endings that will be considered in this essay. With this in mind, the theoretical concepts of two approaches to counselling will be explored: the humanistic form of counselling known as Gestalt, and the broadly behavioural approach known as Reality Therapy (RT). Particular reference will be made to the theoretical ideas about human development, the nature of the client/counsellor relationship, and the counselling process itself. ...read more.

Middle

cites the work of many authors and eloquently concludes that: Many contemporary counsellors place increasing emphasis on factors such as presence, authentic dialogue, gentleness, more direct self-expression by the counsellor, decreased use of stereotypic exercises, and a greater trust in the client's experiencing. This moves the focus well and truly away from the utilisation of pre-planned techniques and much more towards the counsellor being with the client "in the moment". It reflects the existential (here and now) nature of the Gestalt approach. The approach could be considered phenomological, since it is concerned with the client's perception of reality (Manchester Gestalt Therapy 2001). The counsellor would adopt this approach with the client whatever the reason for her being there, and would certainly be appropriate for problems related to a relationship ending. Available texts on RT say little about the nature of the client/counsellor relationship. Typically, it is stated how the counsellor must create a "trusting environment" (WGII 2001), although there is little that details how this environment is to be achieved. Corey (1996) expands the theme only slightly by stating how the counsellor can create a "therapeutic climate" by the use of listening skills and skilful use of questioning. ...read more.

Conclusion

He would help her to identify actions that might eventually lead to more positive feelings and physiological functioning, and to explore the extent to which the client sees herself as a victim in the scenario. By utilising listening skills and questioning, the counsellor would help the client to examine the degree to which her plan of action is realistic in helping her to gain what she was previously getting from the relationship that has now ended. Both Gestalt counselling and RT place responsibility for behaviour squarely with the client. I believe that the approaches are in many ways different, yet complementary. With Gestalt, the emphasis is on examining the events of the past and enabling the client to express her emotional response to unresolved issues. One could say that this does not in itself emphasise a way forward for the future. Reality Therapy on the other hand, pays little heed to the events of the past and this, I believe, is a weakness. But used in conjunction with an approach such as Gestalt, that explores "unfinished business", the client could be helped to lay the ghosts of the past to rest. She could then move forward with a constructive plan to become a completely whole, truly authentic, and fully aware individual with realistic plans for future fulfilment of her needs. ...read more.

The above preview is unformatted text

This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our University Degree Donne section.

Found what you're looking for?

  • Start learning 29% faster today
  • 150,000+ documents available
  • Just £6.99 a month

Not the one? Search for your essay title...
  • Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

See related essaysSee related essays

Related University Degree Donne essays

  1. Love in the Poetry of John Donne.

    What merchant ships have my sighs drown'd? Who saies my teares have overflow'd his ground? When did my colds a forward spring remove? When did the heats which my veines fill Adde one man to the plaguie Bill? The courtly love ideal, however, is in conflict with Donne's ideal of

  2. Take three themes related to the use of counselling skills and describe their importance ...

    These are general rules that the counsellor may modify according to there own values but it is all important to set the rules for the trusting counselling relationship to take place. These rules should be mentioned with sensitivity and respect and assurance of your word Unconditional Positive Regard When we

  1. Discuss the significance of the term metaphysical poetry in relation to three of the ...

    Until then, metaphysical poetry had been neglected, but T. S. Eliot managed to pull the genre back into the spotlight and throw new light on its poets. Eliot claimed that the metaphysical poets were neither 'quaint'31 nor 'fantastic',32 however, their quality lay in their ability to be 'great'33 and 'mature'.34

  2. "Explore how Donne's poetry was influenced by developments in scientific progressions, exploration and religion." ...

    He remarks, "I thinke it an honester part as yet to be silent, than to do Galileo wrong by speaking of it, who of late hath summoned the other worlds, the Stars to come neerer to him, and give him an account of themselves."

  1. Discuss "The Flea" as a typically metaphysical poem

    meter, which also and equally contribute to the way in which the poem continues to exemplify a range of metaphysical paradigms. Each stanza follows the same rhyming scheme, consisting of three couplets and ending with a triplet, denoted by the pattern 'a a b b c c d d d'.

  2. Poetic Parallelism between Jonne Donne and Lope de Vega

    In this poem, the flea is the foundation upon which the speaker builds the edifice of a rhetorical and cynical lesson in love with which he tries to appease an anonymous lady's misgivings and persuade her to lay with him and put an end to her maidenhood.

  1. 'poetry, the word at its most eloquent, is one medium which could concentrate our ...

    view as fact and in doing so removes from the reader any chance of exploration within the text. Perhaps the best example of this is when reading the news article which accompanied the Kenneth Jarecke photograph which Harrison used as the cover for the book A Cold Coming5 "The charred

  2. Write a study of a sonnet, looking at examples by two different poets writing ...

    On the surface, the poem is simply a statement of praise about the beauty of his Mistress. Summer tends to go to unpleasant extremes of windiness and heat, but his mistress is always mild and temperate. Summer is incidentally personified as the "eye of heaven" with its "gold complexion"; the

  • Over 160,000 pieces
    of student written work
  • Annotated by
    experienced teachers
  • Ideas and feedback to
    improve your own work