• Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

Commentary for AS level English Language

Extracts from this document...

Introduction

English Language-'The War on Emo' commentary 'The War on Emo' piece was written for an audience of teenagers, most likely between the ages of 15-19, and was a direct response to an article featured in the Daily Mail about the 'dangers' of emo. The author of this particular article wrote about the recent resurgence in the 'emo' movement and the dangers it poses to teenagers, particularly young, teenage girls. Style models such as articles from the music magazine 'the NME,' and the newspaper 'The Guardian' were used. There were various notable features used in each of these style models which I have tried to emulate in my piece, for instance the use of subtle humour and obviously persuasive techniques. The purpose of the text was primarily to persuade, yet the secondary purpose was intended to argue. I aimed for my text to be of a suitable style in order to be published in a music magazine such as Kerrang! ...read more.

Middle

Therefore in my final draft, the opening paragraph is a definition of the word emo, which was originally the second paragraph. This change means that the audience are given a rough outline of what the rest of the article will be based on, and also gives them a little background knowledge. Given that my target audience are teenagers, it seemed more appropriate to make my article quite informal, almost chatty, in order to appeal to them. After reading my first draft, my language appeared to use a fairly formal register, probably more suited to an audience of adults. Therefore, I decided to change the register used to more informal, yet still using Standard-English and spelling. Words like "personally" and "in conclusion" were changed to "for me" and "so" respectively. A common feature of persuasive writing is to use emotive language, something that was lacking in my first draft. ...read more.

Conclusion

Sands, something that I have been attempting to do throughout. After reading over my first and second drafts, I noticed that there was a shortage of rhetorical questions and other persuasive techniques such as lists of three. I opted to add a few more rhetorical questions such as "however, where is the evidence to suggest that every single one of those teens wore band t-shirts and skinny black jeans?" This technique forces the reader to think about what I am saying, and coming to the conclusion that it is unreasonable to assume that all emos self-harm. I also added more lists of three because they help to strengthen my point by the use of repetition of a particular idea. "She tells me she is happy, has never even considered self-harming and her 'emo' dress sense seems to be more linked to fashion than depression," is a list of three that highlights the inconsistencies in Sands article, and ultimately persuades the reader to dismiss her article as absurd. ...read more.

The above preview is unformatted text

This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our AS and A Level Composition section.

Found what you're looking for?

  • Start learning 29% faster today
  • 150,000+ documents available
  • Just £6.99 a month

Not the one? Search for your essay title...
  • Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

See related essaysSee related essays

Related AS and A Level Composition essays

  1. Marked by a teacher

    Is language an innate module?

    4 star(s)

    Chomsky believes that newborn children are born with an LAD device and the ability to use it. However, Piaget takes a cognitive view upon language development. He believes that newborns have little capability to learn language and instead gain their linguistic skills through interactions with the environment as they grow up.

  2. English - Commentary

    To close the writing I concluded with saying how it is "an ideal retreat", "At the bottom of the wooded valley". I felt that this sounded quite "picturesque" which would be expected in a travel guide which would be trying to sell the location.

  1. English Language AS Level Coursework: Creative Writing Piece

    You could never explain the way the guilt eats into your conscience, your soul, every minute of every day until you can't stand to think. They think they understand, but they don't know what it is to kneel on

  2. The difference between a tabloid and broadsheet article

    This is in the form of a homophone. The word 'prix' has two meanings, two spellings but identical sounds to another word, which is of taboo lexis. Also on the front page, a contrast is apparent between the two small photographic images.

  1. ALL ABOUT THAT BASS, SOME TROUBLE Why recent body positive songs arent as empowering ...

    However, this is overshadowed by some particular feminist faux pas the song has to offer. In a supposedly ?body positive? song, you would expect the classic depravity of ?skinny b******? to be avoided- but clearly not.

  2. Amy Childs Diatribe - AS English Language coursework

    And still insufficient for the Queen of Diamantes, she started her own beauty range. Don?t worry ladies your beauty is in safe but tainted hands as being a tangy orange colour is the new natural. Then she went on to doing photo shoots for calendars, presumably men?s, and then slyly

  1. Witness 1985 Short Story. Composition and commentary.

    Carter?s stomach fell when he saw what it was. It was a car battery. He was full of terror once more at the sheer thought of being tortured. He had to do something, anything, to escape this fate.

  2. Cyber-bullying can be as simple as continuing to contact someone via email or text ...

    The Statistics are as follows: � 42% of kids have been bullied while online. One in four has had it happen more than once. � 35% of kids have been threatened online. Nearly one in five had had it happen more than once.

  • Over 160,000 pieces
    of student written work
  • Annotated by
    experienced teachers
  • Ideas and feedback to
    improve your own work