This love and support is constant throughout the course of the play and is shown in many scenes where we see the similarity between the Friar and the Nurse when they know more about the lives of the children, instead of their parents.
In the play, Romeo is found to be in ‘love’ with a woman called Rosaline but this love is unrequited, which leaves him heart-broken and the Friar knows about this. Lord Capulet is holding a grand party at his house and one of his servants, who happens to be illiterate, is given the task to invite the people whose names are written on the list. He bumps into Romeo, who is with Benvolio and asks them to read the names on the list for him. Rosaline, the lady Romeo loves, is one of the guests and because of this Romeo and Benvolio decide to go to Capulet’s house that night. When Romeo sees Juliet at her house we realise that his ‘love’ for Rosaline is not true as he immediately falls in love with Juliet. Romeo who is now buoyant and full of joy because of his new love immediately goes to inform Friar Lawrence of his news as opposed to telling his best friends or family. The Friar, startled because he doesn’t expect to see Romeo so early in the morning and to see him so happy, is somewhat shocked because he thinks Romeo was with someone the whole night.
‘God pardon sin! wast thou with Rosaline?’
(Act 2, Scene 3, Line 44)
Within this one line spoken by the Friar, it shows us that he knows more about Romeo’s life and character than his father. This is because his father had to ask Benvolio, Romeo’s cousin, what was the matter with him whereas the Friar already knew about his supposed love for Rosaline and other matters in his personal life.
This similarity is also reflected onto the relationship held by Juliet and the Nurse. This occurred at the start of the play when Lady Capulet wanted to discuss the idea of marriage to Juliet in private. She tells the Nurse to leave the room but upon her exit, tentatively calls her back again to ask her how old own daughter Juliet is.
‘Nurse, come back again,
I have remember’d me, thou s’ hear our counsel.
Thou knowest my daughter’s of a pretty age.
(Act 1, Scene3, Line 9-11)
This shows that the Nurse knows Juliet better than her own mother because she does not know her own daughter’s age whereas the Nurse has clear recollection of her birthday.
From the above paragraphs it is clear that both the Friar and the Nurse have a deeper understanding and knowledge of the two children than their own parents do. Both Romeo and Juliet have learnt to grow up with the Friar and Nurse as their parental figures and role models as this is exemplified further in the play.
When Romeo visits Friar Lawrence, he is glad to hear Romeo is no longer infatuated with Rosaline but astonished to learn that another woman has taken her place. Romeo confides about his new and intense love for Juliet and that he wants him to wed the couple. At first the Friar rejected the idea, rendered it hopeless and probably thought that his reputation would be tarnished if he agreed to it, especially if other people found out. The main reason why the Friar agrees to help arrange the marriage is because he sees this as an opportunity to unite the families of Montague and Capulet, but runs the risk of his reputation being ruined and disrespected.
‘For this alliance may so happy prove
To turn your households’ rancour to pure love.’
(Act 2, Scene 4, Line 91-92)
The Nurse also takes a risk for Juliet’s happiness and well being when she defends her during her father’s outburst of verbal abuse after she declined the offer to marry Paris. Juliet’s father wants her to stop grieving for her cousin’s death and so, tries to provide for her, an occasion of joy. As a result of this, Lord Capulet is furious at her ‘disobedience’ and vows never to look at her again unless she obeys his orders. The Nurse is shocked by the violence of his anger and so steps in to diffuse the matter and most importantly to protect Juliet.
‘God in Heaven bless her
You are to blame, my lord, to rate her so.’
(Act3, Scene5, Line168 -169)
During this scene, Juliet pleads with her mother for some support and help but she flatly refuses and says she does not want to know her. It took great courage, bravery and love for the Nurse to stand up to Lord Capulet because she could have been expelled from the household and lost her job.
Once again, it is clearly visible that the Friar and the Nurse are prepared to risk their well being and reputations for the two people that they love the most and will go to extraordinary lengths to make sure their happiness is fulfilled
The final comparison of the relationship held by these two sets of people is when Romeo murders Tybalt. He has hidden in Friar Lawrence’s cell where he tells Romeo that he has been banished from Verona by the Prince. To Romeo, this only means separation from Juliet and considers death as a better alternative and it is at this point where Romeo tries to kill himself with a knife. Friar Lawrence stops him and shows him the stupidity of committing suicide and persuades him that he has much to be thankful for, especially after he avoided the Prince’s death penalty.
‘What, rouse thee, man! Juliet is alive,…
…Tybalt would kill thee
But thou slewest Tybalt:…
The law threaten’d death becomes thy friend
And turns it into exile:…’
(Act3, Scene 3, Lines 135 - 140)
For the Friar to make Romeo understand the benefits of banishment and to prevent him from taking his own life is quite a huge task which takes lots of care and understanding. This is similarly shown by the Nurse towards Juliet when she opens her heart and tells her in confidence that she loves Romeo, a Montague and enemy of the family. The Nurse only wants happiness for Juliet and shows her care and compassion by supporting her fully in the marriage proposals. When the Nurse meets Romeo for the first time she wants to make sure that he is not playing ‘love’ games and messing her around and this too, also shows how much she cares for Juliet.
But first let me tell
Ye, if she should lead her in a fool’s paradise…
It were a very gross kind of behaviour
(Act2, Scene4, Lines 150 - 153)
The above paragraphs show how the Friar and the Nurse look after the children and want them to be safe at all costs. They also want what’s best for them and try to ensure their future happiness.
In conclusion many similarities are shown between the relationships of both pairs of people. Romeo and Juliet both entrust their deepest secrets and feelings with the Friar and the Nurse and these are kept secret and are respected. Both the Friar and Nurse hold parental figures which are understood by Romeo and Juliet and in turn is a key factor to the underlying strength of their relationship.
