How far do you agree that the Cold War broke out in Europe because the USA and the USSR disagreed fundamentally about how they should treat the shattered European economy?

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How far do you agree that the Cold War broke out in Europe because the USA and the USSR disagreed fundamentally about how they should treat the shattered European economy?

        Subsequent to the Second World War in 1945, the European economy was in tatters as much of the infrastructure had been laid to waste and industrial centres destroyed. As such, the two main victors of the war, the United States of America (USA) and the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR), declared their commitment to postwar unity and mutual cooperation in improving global conditions.  Yet, in less than two years, a fervent rivalry between the two nations led to a breaking up of accord, concerning mutual blaming, the division of Europe, as well as the difference in political ideologies. The Cold War broke out in Europe in 1947, signifying a sharp and unexpected deterioration in postwar relations between the USA and USSR. Yet all through this period, the rivalry between the two superpowers was played out in numerous areas: military coalitions; ideology, military, industrial, and technological developments. Europe was split in half, with Western Europe supporting the USA, and Eastern Europe being an ally of the USSR. So, was the disagreement on how to deal with the shattered European economy between the USA and USSR the sole reason for the Cold War? I would agree with this statement only to a small extent, due to the presence of other equal or more important factors which led to the Cold War.

        First of all, one of the main reasons for conflict that led to the Cold War was the different ideas both superpowers had in place for post-war Europe. In response to a battered European economy, the United States hoped to shape the postwar world by opening up the world's markets to capitalist trade. They believed in rebuilding a capitalist Europe that could again serve as a hub in world affairs, as this would serve US interest and suit the Wilsonian idealism of free trade and an open door economic system which they were strongly influenced by. Opening the Western European economies globally would provide markets for US products through trade, thus strengthening the US economy and also protecting themselves as well as Europe from the Soviet ideology.

        “The serious crisis in Europe, particularly Germany, would threaten the successful implementation of George Kennan’s strategy of preserving important areas of economic strength for the capitalist, as opposed to the communist world. One way in which all these problems could be tackled was the provision of US economic aid on a large scale.” Referring to how the USA came up with the Marshall Plan to provide aid to European countries, it addressed economic needs in Western Europe as well as indirectly boosted its own economy by creating a captive market for American goods and also aided American businessmen in coping with the falling domestic demand of goods.

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        However, the USSR, which had for long had placed higher priority on its own security and internal development than on world revolution, focused more on developing a Soviet sphere of influence around its borders for security reasons after the war. Thus the USA, in providing aid to Europe, posed as a threat to the Soviet Union’s communism ideology. The Soviets viewed the Marshall Plan as an infringement on economic sovereignty, fearing it might lead to a spread of US influence into Eastern Europe, and hence compromising on the USSR’s security buffer. This led to the USSR perceiving the Marshall Plan ...

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The student's spelling, grammar and punctuation is very good, which shows the examiner that they have not rushed their essay and avoids any confusion. However, the essay is not structured as well as it could be: for example, the third paragraph from the end only has two sentences and seems out of place. It would give the essay a much better logical flow if paragraphs such as this one were added to others so that they did not look small and out of place. Also, it would be better for the student to avoid using "I" frequently, such as "I would agree...", as it is informal and also makes their judgements sound personal and one-sided.

The factual detail in this essay is strong. The student knows about international agreements such as the Marshall Plan and the Yalta agreement, but can also talk about military concepts such as the Red Army as well as political and economic ideas like different forms of freedom (limited and individual). All of this shows that the student has the knowledge to back up their arguments, and aren't simply making vague guesses about what happened. However, the student could improve by using more dates, as it would allow them to analyse and compare long-term and short-term causes: for example, pointing out that the Yalta agreement was made in 1945 (two years prior to the start of the Cold War) would let them go into another sentence about how disagreement over it was perhaps a long-term factor in the cause of the Cold War. The student does not spend too much time describing what happened rather than explaining it, which is good as it shows they have more understanding about the Cold War than just facts and dates. It is important to get a balance: too many vague statements ("There was an agreement" instead of what this student says, "the Yalta agreement") shows a lack of evidence, but too much evidence shows a lack of the ability to analyse. The essay has a very good conclusion: by reaching a judgement then saying "but only to a small extent", the student is repeating the ability they showed in the introduction to judge one factor as being more important than another, which is good as it shows they can sustain this and not just do it once. They then go on to summarise the arguments they have made in the essay, which is good as it shows they can organise their ideas. While it was right for the student to mention the birth of Communist China, as they mentioned it in the essay, they hardly addressed it in the essay, so it sounds like they are simply repeating themselves in the conclusion rather than summarising.

This is a strong essay that has a good understanding of several interpretations of the Cold War's causes, but would benefit from a stronger quality of writing and more developed factual evidence. The student recognises that the question is asking "How far..." by presenting several alternative interpretations of the causes of the Cold War. This is good as it shows that the student is thinking widely about the causes and not just focusing on one (possibly their own) opinion. Furthermore, by saying things like "Many other small events also threatened the relationship...", the student is showing that they have the knowledge and understanding to judge one factor to be more important than another. However, in the eighth paragraph the student appears to confuse economic and political causes: they could make the case for political causes clearer by pointing out things like the fact the USSR was a one-party state while the USA isn't. This would make that particular section stronger. The student is right to quote historians in the third paragraph, because it shows that they can blend their own analysis with that of established historians, and it also shows evidence of wider reading. However, they could improve by giving the name of the historian in the main part of the essay as well as the footnote: for example, they could say "Young and Tent have argued that...", as this would reinforce the idea that they can combine their own analysis with that of others.