Unlike in Christianity, where the bride and bridegroom are likely to have spent a lot of time together before the marriage, in Islam, if it is an arranged marriage, often the bride and bridegroom have not met. This is because in Christianity, it is seen as a marriage between two people, where as in Islam, it is seen instead as two families joining together to bring up children into the Islam religion.
During the nikah it is usual for an Imam to be present and during the Christian wedding ceremony a Priest. However, an Imam does not have to be present as long as there are two male witnesses but during a Christian ceremony a Priest must be present. During the nikah it is usual for a party of men including the bridegroom to be present as well as the bride and two witnesses. However some Muslim communities hold the nikah without the bride present and a wali takes her place as a representative. In contrast, the Christian ceremony is always held with both the bride and bridegroom present as well as at least two witnesses. Relatives and friends of the bride and bridegroom usual are present also for the Christian ceremony.
The Christian ceremony begins with a best man, who is usually a friend of the couple to wed, standing with the bridegroom at the east end of the church waiting for the bride to arrive. It is a custom that the bride is led down the aisle and ‘given away’ by her father representing that the father is giving his daughter away to be looked after by a new man and two families are coming together. When the bride arrives, the bride and bridegroom stand together, facing the altar showing respect. The service begins with a hymn being sung and often the Priest reads from his book of services, ‘We have come here together in the presence of God to witness the marriage of…’. Two statements are then made by the Priest that are required by law. He asks whether anyone objects to the marriage and then asks the couple.
In Islam, the beginning of the nikah is different, as often it begins with the giving of mahr, a marriage gift which is usually dowry, given to them bride by the bridegroom. This is an essential part of the nikah contract as it makes her financially viable in case of divorce as well as showing the bridegroom’s commitment. The giving of dowry originates from the Qu’ran, ‘And give the women (on marriage) their mahr as a (nikah) free gift’ (Qu’ran 4:4). A sermon is often then given by the Imam which invites the bride and bridegroom, as well as the participating guests in the assembly to a life of piety, mutual love, kindness and social responsibility. This is done as Prophet Muhammad made it his tradition, Sunnah, to have a marriage sermon delivered to solemnize the marriage.
In the Christian ceremony after the Priest asks if anyone objects to the marriage, provided nobody does, the vows are then made between the bride and bridegroom. They face each other for this and the Priest places their hands on one another representing God joining them together. In turn, the bride and bridegroom repeat after the Priest marriage vows to each other. In these vows each promise to share their worldly goods, and to love, honour and remain faithful to one another for the rest of their lives as it says in the Bible that marriage should be for eternity, ‘What God has joined together, man must not separate’ (Mark 10:9). Because they make the vows through the priest, before God, the promises are special and holy.
The agreement to the marriage is similar during a Muslim ceremony as here there is a mutual agreement by the bride and bridegroom and vows are exchanged. However, if the bride does not attend, instead the wali is asked three times whether or not the bride accepts the marriage.
After the vows in the Christian ceremony, the best man then passes the ring to the Priest, and the Priest offers a blessing before the bridegroom places it on the bride’s finger. The ring is usually a smooth gold band that has no beginning and no end, representing a circle of love and is a symbol of eternity. It shows that the couple belong together and hope to stay with each other for life. The ring is placed on the third finger of the left hand with the belief that the third finger has a direct vein to the heart. In contrast to this, during the nikah, often the Muslim bride and bridegroom do not exchange rings.
The declaration then takes place, when the couple are declared husband and wife. The Priest does this by joining the couple’s right hands, representing that God has joined them, before saying, ‘That which God has joined together, let not man divide’. The Christian ceremony ends with the couple kneeling down representing submission, as the Priest places his hand over them in blessing, symbolising God’s blessing.
The nikah is often concluded differently to how the Christian ceremony ends, as the Imam says a prayer for the bride, bridegroom, their families, the local Muslim community and the Muslim community at large, Ummah.
To mark the celebration in which the partners pledge to live together in the presence of God, sometimes a mass or Eucharist is celebrated during the Christian ceremony. The reception then follows the Christian ceremony and the walimah follows the Muslim nikah ceremony, in which the friends and relatives celebrate and give presents to the new husband and wife in both religions.
It is a custom for a Christian bride to wear a white or cream wedding dress as white is a symbol of purity. The bride also gets married in a veil which covers the face and the bridegroom lifts up at the beginning of the ceremony. This custom is carried out to check that the bridegroom is marrying the right woman due to a story in the book of Genesis about Jacob and Rachel. In the story Jacob worked for a man called Laban and asked Laban if he could marry his daughter, Rachel. However Laban tricked Jacob by giving him a veiled bride, who turned out to be Rachel’s older sister, Leah.
In Islam during the walimah the Muslim bride, similar to a Christian bride, tends to dress up for the special occasion. They usually wear red or a deep pink-coloured silk, embroidered with gold threads, as red is considered to be a happy, bright colour, appropriate for the wedding. Similar to Christian brides usually wearing a wedding dress, Muslims brides also wear special clothes. These are called shalwar, which are loose or baggy trousers, kameez, which is a long embroidered tunic, and dupatta, which is a long scarf. In contrast to the bride wearing a white veil during a Christian wedding, in Islam often the bridegroom wears a white veil as this represents that it is an arranged marriage and love does not exist. However, in contrast to the Christian ceremony, during the legal ceremony in Islam, the nikah, no special clothing is worn.
In Islam, the nikah contract signed by married Muslims and the witnesses of the wedding is a legal document, as is the register signed by Christians who wed. However, unlike the register signed by Christians, the nikah contract is a contract that gives both the husband and the wife rights and responsibilities. Conditions are often included in the nikah contract as because in Islam arranged marriages are usual, love is not present at the time of the wedding ceremony. This is different to Christian marriages which are not arranged and love is already present.
