“C-Catherine?”
He jogged across the street and entered after her hurriedly, wishing what he’d just seen was real and that everything he went through with Beatrice’s cousins and Catherine was just a very long and hurtful dream. But of course, that was reality and this isn’t.
Once he’d gone in to his former home, he was stunned to see a replica of himself sitting in his favourite chair, reading his favourite newspaper. And just as he was about to become furious and confront the imposter, his eyes fell towards the date. It read 1949. Eddie’s breath caught in his throat and his dormant heart, somehow managed to beat against his ribs, like a restless lion trapped in an impenetrable cage. Then as he finally started to get to grips with the situation; he was in his own memory of when Catherine was younger.
Eddie?
Both the past Eddie and the present one turned at the same time. Beatrice stood there in a red knee length dress and looked their way seductively, obviously waiting for some reaction. And that is what she got, but not from whom she wanted. Past Eddie said, “Yes, you look great, hun.” Looking very disinterested, he smiled a fake smile and went back to reading his paper. However, present Eddie’s eyes were wide with awe. Then a look of guilt washed over him. He closed his eyes, but when he opened them again, something had changed.
Beatrice and his former self were nowhere to be seen, but instead he saw a shimmering shroud of soft golden light, a luminous circle just off to the side, glowing and beckoning, just like the first one. Even though he didn’t know where it will take him, he couldn’t help but veer towards it.
The feeling was not unlike the intense contentment he felt tumbling through the first light. But once he’d stepped out of it, he stood quietly, watching the elongated shadows of the passer-bys in the twilight lit street. He started to dig through his own memories, thick like honey, wondering where he was and at what period in his life. But before he could enlighten himself, he saw himself and his wife arguing in the street.
“I swear, B., I’m surprised at you; I sit there waitin’ for you to wake up but everything is great with you.” The past Eddie said to his angered wife.
“No, everything ain’t great with me.” She replied.
“No?”
“No. But I got other worries.”
“Yeah.” He challenged; his voice breaking.
“Yeah you want me to tell you?”
“Why?” He said in retreat. “What worries you got?”
“When am I gonna be a wife again Eddie?” She inquired the desperation evident in her eyes.
The present Eddie watched as his wife pleaded to him in despair. He shook his head, ashamed that he’d ever treated her so badly.
He turned away from the memory and started to walk down the deserted street, moonlight streaking the street like a silver river, constantly moving. As he strolled, he looked up when he heard a familiar giggle. It was Catherine, and with her was Rodolpho, kneeling before her with a blood red rose in his stretched out hand. She took it and kissed the rose modestly. He stood up then bowed courteously, making sure he wasn’t too close to her once they began walking again. A small smile crept up on Eddie’s face, pulling at the sides of his mouth.
He looked up at the sparkling stars that started to gather like a handful of diamonds and sighed a sigh full of pride and forgiveness. Then he carried on walking until his silhouette disappeared into the new portal that took the form of the smiling full moon. He fell through the brilliant haze, a shower of light so loving, so warm, so intense, it calmed his nerves and soothed all his fears. And when he landed in a field of vibrant, emerald green grass, the blades held him, supported him and cushioned his fall.
He gazed around the sparkling meadow, its flowers blooming with petals that seemed lit from within, trees with branches that reached for the sky, sagging with fruits that looked too juicy to behold. But none of these magnificent gifts from Mother Nature seemed to be on the same wavelength as the beauty that stood before him. It almost looked like an angel and this time Eddie really wondered if he was in heaven. The light surrounding both of them appeared to be taking over, not eliminating the meadow, but almost absorbing it, taking in all of its warmth and beauty. Eddie gaped, astonished at what he was seeing.
“Edward Carbone.” The angelic voice said. “It’s been a long time since I last saw you, hasn’t it.”
Eddie’s heart clenched as he recognised the voice calling out to him, only one person had ever called him Edward.
“Nancy?”
“That’s right, Edward. It’s me.”
“But where am I? This can’t be heaven, can it? I’ve done many terrible things, and heaven just can’t have a lowly patsy like me.”
“No, Edward, you’re not quite there yet. But that doesn’t mean you won’t ever be.”
He sighed before speaking again. “Oh Nancy, I’m so sorry. I tried to be a good father figure to her, just like you’d asked me to, but once again I’ve failed. I tried to love her as much as I could, but ended up lovin’ her too much. I failed with Catherine, but I also failed with Beatrice. I was horrible to her. It wasn’t even for what I said, but what I didn’t say.” He looked up to Nancy’s reassuring eyes. “I just want to tell her that I love her and I never meant to hurt her the way I did.” His voice broke at the end of the sentence. “I may not have the softest touch, I may not have said I love you, I may look so rough and tough, but all I wanna tell her is that I loved her more than anythin’.” He laughed a humourless laugh. “Now I’ve lost both of ‘em. They both hate me and there ain’t nothin’ I can do about it. I’m gonna miss the wedding Catherine always wanted, I’m gonna miss seeing her marry the man who made her more happy than I ever seen her before. I ain’t gonna have any more anniversaries with my beautiful wife, that I’ve made a widow. And I ain’t never gonna have the forgiveness of those two boys that I disrespected and hurt so much. I don’t even blame Marco for killin’ me. I needed to be killed, the way I was goin’ round like I was Al Capone.” He paused, sighed and shook his head. “I’ve realised how stupid and selfish I’ve been. Sometimes people don’t learn from their mistakes, but I certainly have, and I’m never goin’ back. ‘Cause its the end where I begin.”
Nancy’s smile beamed into Eddie’s heart and the two of them vanished into thin air, leaving a trail of stars and blood-red rose petals behind them.
