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I am now sitting in the coach after leaving Thornfield. Since the journey is rather long I thought I should take some time to catch up with my diary. I am feeling very upset and quite confused. I am still trying to get my head around today's events.

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Introduction

I am now sitting in the coach after leaving Thornfield. Since the journey is rather long I thought I should take some time to catch up with my diary. I am feeling very upset and quite confused. I am still trying to get my head around today's events. When I awoke this morning I was feeling very happy knowing that in just acouple of hours I would be marrying the man I love. I did not expect today to turn out like it did. After I awoke I was almost immediately interrupted by Sophie. She came at seven to help me dress, I knew straight away that Mr Rochester had sent her up to see what was delaying me. I couldn't look in the mirror, I was far too scared but Sophie convinced me to and I did! I remember thinking 'Is that really me?' I looked so incredibly different. I was called by Mr Rochester and so made my way downstairs and was met at the foot by my soon to be husband. I realised then that he was in a hurry as he called me a "Lingerer" and said "My brain is on fire with impatience; and you tarry so long!". ...read more.

Middle

His face had been like "colourless rock and he had disavowed nothing". The man went on to say that Mr Rochester had married Bertha Antionetta Mason and was living now. I felt hot and clammy and felt like I might have fainted. How could Mr Rochester do this and not tell me? I was going to marry him and he kept this from me. The second figure had moved forward by now and I could see that it was Mr Mason. I could tell that Mr Rochester was going to explode with anger, he told the two men to follow him and he would show them his "so called wife!" Mr Rochester still holding me tightly led the men out of the church. Back at Thornfield we rushed straight to the top floor where Mason had been hurt and I had comforted him. Mr Rochester opened the door, walked through a room and opened another door that had been covered with some fabric. In the room beyond was Bertha Mason, who I had believed to be Grace Poole. She was disgusting, almost like an animal more than a human being. ...read more.

Conclusion

This was neither true nor anywhere near the truth. He hurt me with a lot of things that he said but I tried to take no notice of him. He had broken my heart and was now saying even more hurtful things to me! I knew I could not live with him after all of my future plans had been buried along with the marriage. I could see absolutely no future with him. I could not talk to him about my pain and feelings as he seemed like a different person now. The only person I could turn to was god and so I made the painful decision and left and here I am. In the coach, I am heading as far as my money will take me and may try to find my uncle. I still love Mr Rochester and miss him dearly but I am also very angry with him and even the thought of Thornfield makes me feel sick with sadness and anger. I'm sure I will see Mr Rochester again, in the very near future but for now, I plan to get as far away from him and Thornfield as possible. ...read more.

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