We can’t have a funeral yet due to the investigation but I’ve had to tell people, Maggie’s parents and siblings, my parents other people have found out through the local papers and hundreds of flowers have been left by the public against the shop, but it doesn’t stop the pain not even for a second. Not a minute goes by without me trying to work out who would have wante to cause such pain, and the awful feeling that it could be someone close, someone they knew and felt safe with, I’m racked with guilt, I wasn’t there to protect my own family.
My family was and still is an odd one, maybe that’s why I wanted to have a ‘normal’ family. I never knew my Dad he left before I was born and my mother never got over it, apparently he left to be with another woman who he’d also pregnant with his rotten seed. I have one brother, always a bit of a bad boy it was no surprise when he landed himself in prison for G.B.H, I hadn’t seen him for over a year before he got sent down and haven’t seen him since, 4 years it’s a dam’ shame.
although my mother has tried with letters I would rather not have him in my life, I didn’t want him in my family’s life to be more specific. We’ve tried to help him in the past; he even lived with us for a few months months, but 3 months down the line he just left, no note, no “good bye” just my wife’s peruse and children's piggy banks and haven’t seen him since.
As my family’s trauma was being splashed over local news the police investigation continued, the news-agents had only had CCTV inside the store, although England has turned to a camera heaven no CCTV had been installed behind the shop where my babies were found.
I was then shown the tape in which Maggie was buying her cigarettes, the tape wasn’t very good quality, you couldn’t even make out my wife’s beautiful face.I could see the car vaguely through to open shop door. A man walked up to our family car with the girls inside opening the door picking up Abigail and taking her out of her car seat then walking away with Abby in his arms and Katie holding on to his hand. This made the police believe that the girls knew him and went willingly with him, he was wearing a hood and never looked toward to shop door so even with the bad quality we had no chance of identifying his face. Finally Maggie leaves the shop and stands motionless outside staring at the car then looking left and right; the tape came too much for me, I turned my head toward the wall, I clenched my fists, gripping onto the sweat running from each palm, equivocal emotions where in-caged within me; the instinct of anger couldn’t help but be fused with the pain of guilt as the Images of what happened that day begun toying with my imagination.
The girls obviously knew this man to go off with him, which surely means I know him, the worst had come to reality; memories of a not so long ago time began whispering into my ear reminding me of what once used to be the family room, the anger started possessing me as my heart started beating against my chest faster and faster before relinquishing to the floor where I sunk into a bath of my tears. The police could sense the animosity in the air and politely left. The pain slowly faded as I slowly drifted asleep on the living room floor.
When I woke up I paced though my brain hacking into old memories to conclude who it could be, I start accusing my closest and dearest friends in my head, how could it be one of them... how has this happened?!
At that moment the doorbell rang. People had tried ringing all week but I haven’t felt the will to answer, I guess now I have to face the world once again and answer; there is a pile of notes scattered across the hall that people have posted through the letterbox. I open the door, and I’m shocked to the core, it’s him. I can’t speak or move, He tells me he has good news, I hope he’s telling me he’s finally gone clean; I politely invite him in, as he passes me the stench of memorable cigarette smoke drifts across my face, I look up and down his figure as he walks into the living room, a blood stained handle was peaking from his trouser back pocket, I briskly contemplated on what it could of been the object could of pressed against, I became cognizant of what was going on, anger which once was transfixed in guilt now seemed contradictory, once again evocative visions paced though my mind.
I run at him swinging in every direction with all my might, it throws him but not much he was always the tougher one. Then I feel it, the sharp pain in my hip, I step back and see the blood flowing, but I can no longer feel it I’m numb. Before I can retaliate he has me gripped round the neck, knife to my throat and before I know it I’m strapped in a chair duck tape over my mouth, around my hands and feet and also around my stomach keeping me in the chair. My brother takes down his hood and gives a wicked grin, ‘Hello Daniel’ he whispers in my ear. I struggle in my chair and he just laughs,
‘Poor Danny, you were always the superior one weren’t you, well look at you now! You have nothing; no one’s coming to your rescue are they Danny? You’re Alone.’
He takes great pleasure in me what I know to be true, all the time waving his blood soaked knife around.
‘It’s a shame what happened to those little kiddies isn’t it Danny? Such beautiful girls just like Maggie.’
He says licking his lips menacingly. I want to scream, I wanted to shout words which I’ve never used since my youth, but I can’t so I just continue to struggle in my chair hoping to loosen the tape.
‘What about Katie? Looks an awful lot like Maggie doesn’t she? Not so much like you though Daniel, that’s odd isn’t it?’
My wrists are starting to bleed from the firmly fastened tape but I can’t feel it, my clothes have turned crimson. What is he saying? ‘Remember that lovely few months I spent here with you Danny? You were trying to get me on the straight and narrow weren’t you? You were so stupid, while you were busying yourself getting me on this course and that course you had no idea what was going on right here did you? In this house, in your bed, with your wife.’
My hands were freed and I ripped the tape off my mouth ‘Maggie would never go anywhere near you, your scum!’ I screeched. ‘Well of course she resisted, but she loved it really...every time.’ He said slowly right in my face. I punched him. He stumbled backwards holding his jaw before chuckling to himself. ‘You idiot Danny, Katie, she’s mine, or should I say she was ha’ he laughed. ‘No no no no no NO!’ I said it over and over trying to grab at him but the rest of me was still fastened tightly to the chair. He then explains in detail every encounter he had with my wife, my precious wife raped by a monster in my home and I knew nothing all the time I’m screaming no over and over my face soaked with tears. But I knew it was true, Maggie kept asking me to make him leave and I wouldn’t because I wanted to help him, she was on edge the whole time and I just thought it was because she didn’t like him. She wanted a new bed but I said no and I remember that when he’d fled with our rent money she seemed so relieved. How could I have not known?
‘I thought about her every day in prison, I loved her I wanted to be with her and my daughter. So of course when I got out she was my first stop, but she wouldn’t talk to me when I came to the house. It was a different story when I had your beloved children. But she didn’t want me, not nice is it Danny? When the woman you love doesn’t want you so I decided if I couldn’t have her, and Katie, you couldn’t either so I killed them.’
What about Abby? If you didn’t want Abby why did you kill her too?!’ I yelled.
‘It was unfortunate for her, she was just there’ he shrugged.
This is when my anger took hold of my and I forced my way out of my restraints, I picked up the chair and struck him once, twice, three times. He fell to the ground and I stood over him, my foot to his neck ‘You sick bastard’ I cried then stood on his neck until he was gasping for air and clutching his throat, then he was gone. I fell to the ground beside him, I knew now that it was over for me too but I couldn’t move, my eyes closed blood still pumping from my hip, my time is here.
