(200, E)
This thought might suggest asymmetry in love relationships because of the exchange of different qualities, but I think that the point Socrates makes is that the two parties benefit from an exchange of opposite qualities because they gain something they lacked before entering the relationship.
One of the main types of relationships the philosophers explore is that between an old wise man and his young male lover. The prime example is the relationship between Socrates and Alcibiades. Socrates is the oldest and wisest philosopher in the Symposium. Because of his superiority, Socrates could never find a lover identical in experience or equal in intellect. Obviously, Socrates would not be in a relationship from which he could not benefit in some way. Often in student/teacher love relationships, the older teachers choose young lovers because youth provides great physical pleasure.
Socrates explains his desire for young boys through the speech of
Diotima: “Beautiful boys and youths – who, if you see them now, strike you out of
your senses, and makes you, you and many others, eager to be with the boys you love and look at them forever, if there were any way to do that,
forgetting food and drink, everything but looking at them and being with
them.” (211, D)
This quote shows how much Socrates appreciates the strong bodies of the youths who admire him. The older men of society have another motive for chasing the youths: having a young boy for a lover helps the elder partner feel younger at heart. Aristophanes supports this belief in the following speech:
“And I say there’s just one way for the human race to flourish: we must
bring love to its perfect conclusion, and each of us must win the favors of
his very own young man, so that he can recover his original nature.”
(193, C)
This “original nature” that Aristophanes is talking about is the young age
that the older men can never regain. Socrates also mentions this idea in his
previously-mentioned speech about our desire for things because we do not possess them. Socrates desires to be young again because he is in the later stages of his life. Only one type of person can satisfy the aging Socrates’ yearning--a younger male.
The younger male is the student in the relationship. His benefits from
the relationship with an older male includes knowledge gained from his elder’s experiences in life, guidance through the adolescent years, and sexual companionship.
Alcibiades, Socrates’ youthful lover, can acquire all of these benefits from his older mentor/lover because Socrates is a great philosopher who has experienced life to its fullest and a teacher who is willing to impart his wisdom to an adoring student. Any youth would stand to gain a lot from an older man. Alcibiades explains his affections for
Socrates in his speech:
“If I were to describe for you what an extraordinary effect his words have always had on me (I can feel it this moment even as I’m speaking), you
might actually think that I’m drunk! Still, I swear to you, the moment he starts to speak, I am beside myself: my heart starts leaping in my chest,
the tears come streaming down my face, even the frenzied Corybantes
seem sane compared to me–and let me tell you, I am not alone.” (215, E)
Alcibiades is a prime example of a younger boy developing a love for his teacher whom he respects because of his great knowledge. The adolescents also gain great experience in love relationships that will help guide them throughout the remainder of their lives. The youths benefit from the experience of the aged. Because both of the parties in the older teacher/young student relationships benefit from being involved from
each other, their relationship is symmetrical. Because Socrates recognizes that a symmetrical relationship requires balance, he comes to understand that Alcibiades’ contention that Socrates was not contributing equally indicates a flaw in their relationship. Socrates acknowledges his own fault and proposes a solution in the following speech:
“In the future, let’s consider things together. We’ll
always do what seems the best to the two of us” (219, B). Socrates understands how the symmetrical balance can help them to have a beneficial relationship.
Eryximachus voices his opinion on symmetry in a relationship in section 187 D. He asserts that two lovers must contribute equally to achieve mutual benefits and to enable the development of love through the poetic exchange of qualities. Eryximachus presents this idea as follows:
“Love does not occur in both his forms in this domain. But the moment you consider, in their turn, the effects of rhythm and harmony on their audience – either through composition, which creates new verses and
melodies, or through musical education, which teaches the correct
performance of existing compositions.” (187, D)
Eryximachus is describing the rhythm and harmony that Love creates between
The two parties based on their understanding of Love and each other’s needs.
The relationship between the older teacher and the younger student is
symmetrical because both of the parties gain from the relationship a quality
that they lacked and needed. The balance between the two parties will remain symmetrical as long as each understands what the other needs. The teacher gains a younger companion who provides him physical pleasure and youthful vigor. The student gains intelligent experienced guidance. They don’t exchange or share identical qualities; they simply make a mutually beneficial trade.
