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Resteraunt Review - creative writing english coursework

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English Coursework Arwyn Davies 10GF Arwyn Davies is left feeling slightly nauseous after being subjected to three courses at Clapham's Juill� de Feux. Clapham village is situated in the very heart of Yorkshire, and it becomes immediately apparent that its award for 'outstanding natural beauty' is well deserved: With its rolling hills delighting the eyes, its beck trickling ambiently in the background and its natural splendour enthralling the senses, I was impressed. And that is saying something. Alas, perfect, unfortunately is not the adjective to use, for despite all its enchantment this place has a flaw, and oh how ironic that this blemish would be the site chosen for Juill� de Feux. The fact that anyone could decide that a building resembling a giant concrete excrement (but possessing considerably less charm) ...read more.


That complication dealt with (eventually), I was shown to my seat and began to peruse over the menu. I was not impressed. Amongst the starters was a dish annotated: 'mluskles, sea shell variety' and there was one beverage suspiciously labelled 'cocknag'. Oh dear. I am no expert on human rights, nor do I pretend to be, but what they served me must surely constitute some form of breach. To save myself the difficulty of reading the menu, I ordered the first starter on the list. A fairly safe choice I thought. Surely even they couldn't balls up tomato soup. But no. Somehow, incredibly, they found a way. How? Why by serving it avec le Heinz can of course, and charging �3.95 to boot. ...read more.


It would take a miracle to save the situation, and there is nothing here with the scope to feed 50 000. They would give it back. Predictably Juill� de Feux failed to deliver. Literally. I was made to wait so long that I was forced to abandon the notion of pudding. On the way out I was tempted to offer them a tip of the verbal variety, but resisted. I doubt that anyone would have understood anyway. As you may know, I normally conclude this column with a number of conclusive recommendations. Today I give you only one. Should you ever be tempted to sample the local cuisine here at Clapham, don't. By all means come to the beautiful village, but then stop. Take a look, absorb the view, then do a u-turn and, at the same time do yourself a massive favour. Go to McDonalds. ...read more.

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