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Satirical Writing

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Satirical Writing To be honest I've never been to England. I can't even begin to imagine why anyone would want to go. Even the mere thought of it is enough to send shivers down my spine. You can sense the gloom, despair and misery radiating and pouring out from this measly little island, which leads us to ask how this miniscule dot on the map can conjure such utter depression. Of course it may sound unreasonable and perhaps judgmental if someone who has never there to make such extravagant statements, but I have been to a British school for my entire school life (a melancholy 11 years) and one thing I've learned is that they love to talk about themselves and of course England. I suppose it might have been interesting if they actually had something to say about it, I've heard the same things about England over and over again. In fact I could name all the places in England: Hastings, Surrey, Burnley, Swindon... well I don't want to bore you but you get the idea. To begin with let's start with a quote shall we "The sun never sets on the British Empire..." ...read more.


There is one thing that has seemed to bring "joy" to the somber nation: sport in particular Soccer - which they profusely demand to be called football. This is by far the most over spoken subject British people talk about and proudly. They ramble and rant about their favorite team and, of course, if another person dares disagree with the speaker a brawl would occur almost simultaneously. Disregarding age almost completely these brawls range from the young teenage boy to the middle aged men and the elderly. Maybe they just like hitting each other, who knows. This behavior was rightly dubbed "The English Disease". Is there anything else that might bring a shine of light on these people? Could it be possible. Why yes, British humor. By any standards anybody from another country would not understand. While they boldly state that American humor is just to plain out dumb and all fart jokes. Of course then going on about how British humor requires intelligence and wit to comprehend it's genius. Could someone please show me the wit in perhaps The Mighty Boosh or Monty Python? ...read more.


Who knows if this is teratogenic? And they keep offering to make you one to the extent that it becomes so irritating you want to put duck tape on their mouths - if you hadn't already from previous annoyances. Can't they find something else to cool their frayed nerves? Another thing that bothers me is why every British food establishment coats their entire menu in the bland, tasteless dressing baffles me. Turkey tastes a lot better when it is not drenched in mayo and covered in plastic for five hours. Trust me. But who am I to criticize her royal majesty's great nation. Let us mere mortals not forget that Royal Britannia once ruled the waves. I am an American, a nation famous for McDonalds, obesity, gun crime, trailer trash, flat pack housing and Cheers (that's the terrible 1980s sitcom set in a bar, in case you didn't know). I obviously have no right to bad mouth a country I have never been to and has more history than the number of surgeons a woman in L.A has had. However, I would rather be an American any day over being English. Let's face it, Britain's empire has crumbled. ?? ?? ?? ?? Marilyn Rae Myers 10P 1/2 ...read more.

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