The tones of the poems are quite different to one another but have one thing in common which was love that was given to two dissimilar things. “My Grandmother” shows resentment and guilt, the grandmother did not invest her time in her grandchild or anyone as she was preoccupied with her antiques “it kept her”. She focused on things that were old and the past era, instead of new things like her granddaughter, the speaker. The tone of “Long distance” is about love and understanding. The speaker recognizes the love and grief the father had for his wife as later on the poets understands when his father died. The father’s grief for his wife is greater than the son’s grief for the father because the nature of the relationship is different. The poet did not totally comprehend his father’s actions but only realized after father’s death. The first relationship in “long distance” was between the father and his wife, the love was so strong and fulfilling. The father was a caring and tenderly person ‘kept her slippers warming by the gas’ and he clearly looked after his wife – the poet’s mother. He was overwhelmed by her death but wanted to believe she was still with him in his heart and around him: ‘he knew she’d just popped out to the tea’. The father is forced to play a role of moving on and he lives in fear of criticism even from his son: ‘my blight of disbelief’. The father does not want his son to find out he has not got over his wife’s death.
“My grandmother” uses more imagery than “Long distance”. There are images of furniture which becomes like a metaphor. The furniture’s have no energy, they are cold, old solid objects and this in some ways reflects the grandmother’s personality. These objects take her away from the people who can actually give back love. The imagery of her dying we can picture that she will not be surrounded by people but the things she loved, ‘the antiques’. She did not see people as a priority. “My grandmother” looks at a strong point of regret. This was an opportunity the speaker missed where a relationship could have blossomed with her grandmother. The sadness that is created is that the grandmother had no friends and no relationship.
It is said when aged that old ones are usually close to their grandchild, they are usually maternal as well however in this case the poet’s grandmother is not.
For both of the poems the poets’ feel empathy towards the one whom they talk about. “My grandmother” looks at the missed opportunity ‘of that refusal, guessing how she felt’ and in “Long distance” the pain of losing his father. In “my grandmother” the grandmother’s life was so unfulfilled ‘faded silk, heavy furniture’. ‘Heavy’ emphasizes that life was empty all was dull and dark. ‘There was no need for love’ the grandmother’s time and energy went to her possessions: ‘polish was all’.
‘I was afraid’ this is very impersonal about the speaker and it lacks the closeness. The grandmother was selfish and the relationship had been one-sided, it was as though the grandmother was to show the granddaughter off like her antiques. The house she lived in feels oppressive ‘things too long kept shut’ represents the behaviour of grandmother on people. The speaker feels oppressed by this and the way the grandmother acted towards her. Even though there is no grief at her grandmother’s death the one incident still remains with her. Perhaps it is her own inadequacy in dealing with her relationship with her grandmother that haunts her.
“My grandmother” the title of the poem is only the name given to her, but not as the role she should have played in the poet’s life and the relationship that should have been there, but which the poet regrets.
“Long distance” is a metaphor that is being used as the title of the poem. The people who have died are actually gone however it’s not the end and the relationship that is going on is a distant relationship which they shall never see each of them again. ‘the disconnected number I still call’ is ambiguous, the poet either rings the father not realizing he’s dead, or rings to talk but he’s not there.
Both poems look at the remembrance deeply “long distance” the memory of them in his mind ‘my new black leather phone book there’s your name’ and in “My grandmother” the grief the poet did not have over her death but the memory of ‘things she never used but needed’, the antiques.
