The essence of a memoir is to look back at one's experience, and see how they have developed and matured.
The essence of a memoir is to look back at one's experience, and see how they have developed and matured. This is no different in Dave Eggers fictitious memoir, A Heartbreaking Story of Staggering Genius. To explore what has changed a person it is important to look at what most of the person's time was spent doing. In Dave's situation, there is no shadow of a doubt, at the age of 22, his life revolved around the security and well being of his little brother Christopher (Toph). To completely comprehend Eggers growth and maturity, it is essential to analyze his relationship with his little brother Toph. Father, mother, brother, all wrapped in one, Dave becoming Toph's guardian constructed the adult that Eggers would become.
Dave did not become Toph's guardian because he wanted to, but because he was the one left over. Bill was out getting a job and Beth was finishing graduate school. Dave immediately tried to overcome the grief of dealing with two dead parents, and taking care of Toph by making Toph's and his own lives fun. He spent all of the social security and inheritance on a nice house; they went out all the time; singing to song, making of people in the car, playing lots of frisbee at the beach. He seemed to drown out the sadness of the situation with their complimentary money. At this point, Dave's feelings still cannot escape him.
"It's Friday night and I should be out, across the bay, I should be out every night with the rest of the young people, fixing my hair, spilling my beer, trying to get someone to touch my penis.. So yet, I could be out, enjoying this freedom specifically and that of youth generally, exulting of the richness of my time and place. But no, I will be here, at home. Toph and I will cook as usual." (p.106).
This is the first time in the book where Dave slips out of his facade, and shows the ...
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"It's Friday night and I should be out, across the bay, I should be out every night with the rest of the young people, fixing my hair, spilling my beer, trying to get someone to touch my penis.. So yet, I could be out, enjoying this freedom specifically and that of youth generally, exulting of the richness of my time and place. But no, I will be here, at home. Toph and I will cook as usual." (p.106).
This is the first time in the book where Dave slips out of his facade, and shows the sadness his feels from being stripped of his life.
Dave's depression of the life 'that could have been' , turns into a dependence of Toph. Though only 10 years old (relatively), Toph is Dave's best friend. Dave becomes very worried about Toph and what will happen to him, especially if Toph is taking from Dave.
"I worry for us. I worry that any minute someone - the police, a child welfare agency, a health inspector, someone - will burst in and arrest me, or maybe just make fun of me, shove me around, call me bad names, and then take Toph away, will bring him somewhere where the house is kept clean, where laundry is done properly and frequently, where the parental figure or figures can cook and do so regularly, where there is no running around the house poking each other with sticks from the backyard."
Dave is now starting to worry, he wants to be a parent, but he doesn't feel like he is capable. This becomes even more important after he starts "Might" Magazine. He spends whatever $10,000 he has left of the inheritance on the production of the 'twenty something' satirical periodical. This leaves Toph and Dave with little money for housing. Their struggle to find a home really is one of those points where it is questionable weather they will survive.
Somewhat remarkably they do. As Toph enters middle school you see a dynamic difference in the two. Toph is now a young teenager who can take care of himself. When Dave gets sick with flu like symptoms, Toph becomes the parents and take responsibility of the two. He cooks dinner, wakes himself up in the morning, makes his own lunch, and then rides his broken bike to school. Dave seeing Toph's method of riding the broken bike to school is an important event in Toph's character description. He has become terribly independent and very modest. He doesn't complain, he doesn't take his stuff for granted, and has become very re source full. It is these qualities in a child which would make a parent very proud. At this point, Dave begins to feel a sense of pride as a parent, losing many of his insecurities. Now Dave thinks he is the supreme parent in San Francisco.
""I figure if hes gonna smoke, he's gonna smoke." She shrugs elaborately. "So I like him fire up at home". "Im too stunned to speak. She should be jailed. And I should raise her children. Mabye I'm the only one who should raise all of their kids"" (p. 301)
Dave is speaking with other parents on the topic of Marijuana. This parent lets her kids smoke in the house so she can attempt to keep control of them. Dave is shocked, yet as a reader, this comes as a surprised. Earlier in the story Dave struggled so much to deal with what was right and what was wrong for a child. The scene that depicts this is the nude beach scene. Here Dave is with a 10 year old child, ready to pay for their entrance into the nude beach. The reader is reading the story thinking to him, "What are you doing! You Idiot!" Meanwhile Dave struggles to realize that this isn't an acceptable place to be for a 10 year old boy. He now seems to have a clear cut understanding of what values a good parent should set. Dave Is not very modest in believing he now is a great parent. He now things he has the ability to raise everyone's kids!
The cockiness is really ironical because Dave hasn't really earned any acclaim, nor does he truly care much self esteem about his abilities. Toph is the child he is, not because of Dave's parent's abilities but because of what Dave didn't do. Though Dave did worry a lot about Toph, on the exterior Dave really became a harder character to Toph. Dave just seemed like a big brother to Toph. The book never describes him disciplining Toph, or Toph throwing a tantrum. This is because of the dire situation they were put into. As a parent Dave did very little lecturing (something everyone's parents love to do) and just let Toph explore life as it came. This is shown when Dave picks up Toph from the girls house. Toph had played his first game of spin the bottle. Dave has all these expectations for Toph and was disappointed to hear that Toph thought nothing special of the girls, but instead of going into his regrets he had, he just let it be, because Toph will figure it out.
This seems to be the parenting model in which Dave and Toph's relationship is about. Dave spent less time sheltering and trying to mold Toph to his expectations and more time just having fun with him. This created Toph to become an independent and responsible child. Because Toph was not a conventional parent, some may argue that Dave has little responsibility in Toph's maturing, but don't tell Dave, "parent almighty", so.
A Heartbreaking Work of a Staggering Genius
"On Good Parenting Values"
Sam Ginnis
October 9th, 2003
Final Paper
