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Most Wanted Hi, it's me! What, you don't know who I am? That's impossible

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Most Wanted

Hi, it's me! What, you don't know who I am? That's impossible! No one can be that ignorant! Alright then, I'm going to introduce myself, just for you:

I am the beginning and the end for every writer, I am the last hope for the desperate and the source of all inspiration. Without me, there wouldn't exist either Romeo nor Juliet, the bell wouldn't ring and Sesame not open. I am the one and only, inimitable, loved and longed for, divine Muse!

You didn't expect that, did you? Oh, you wonder what I'm doing here. Well, I just have to talk to someone that's all. And it has to be someone who doesn't want anything from me. You see, it's like this:

I'm sorry, I usually don't lose my temper - or at least I try. No, I can't pull myself together now, I have to let it all out.

I'm just sick of it. Do you have any idea, how long I've been doing this job?

...read more.


Okay, first things first. In the beginning, my fame was restricted to Greece, but then it grew so fast that I had to set up a limit for future customers. So I announced to the world that my services were no longer for free. In order to get a kiss from me, the gentlemen had to become, let's say, more generous. After all, some of them acquired fame and glory with my help - nobody would know Homer or Platon without me. Just think of the Ilias. Do you know how bloody this whole damn war was? And Homer's first script was just as horrible. No one would have read it, if I had not intervened. Because of me, Homer turned warlords into heroes; he actually made the whole thing quite interesting to read. To me, it sounded more like a big adventure than a murderous war, but hey, if people like it this way, why not?

...read more.


However, even this second restriction wasn't enough, I still have way too much work. I even had to hire some employees and start a hotline (1-800-MUSE) in order to cope with every single case. Of course my customers insist on personal service. Well, tough; they have to stand in line and wait for their number to be called up. After all, their patience does pay off.

Oh, excuse me, it's my beeper. Oh no, not again. I'm sorry, I just have to return this call. Otherwise there'll be a sequel of Titanic, and I can't let that happen. I mean, he's dead, why can't they accept it? Hey, don't look at me like that. I really meant what I said, it is a horrible job, not just 7/11, but 24 hours a day. And I've never had a break in my entire life, not once. But please be honest: if not me, who else could do it?

...read more.

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