Factors Influencing Resistance of a Wire

Review of essay

Rating: 3 star(s)

Response to the question

Overall, a good report in terms of physics, but lacks in evidence of analytical skills. You have started with good, well explained predictions. You have conducted a good experiment and detailed every step, which shows the development of your ideas as well as showing any problem areas in conducting the experiment. You have collected your results then analysed them into a conclusion bringing your predictions, results and explanation together to show you know what you are doing for the experiment.

Level of analysis

You have gone into a large amount of detail in explaining your prediction, some of which is not necessary. Removing some of the basics, such as “atoms are the building blocks of everything” would help show you can decide what is important and what is needed for the report. Leaving such basic information in says to a reader that you cannot analyse the information enough to choose what to put it and what not to. Keep your report to the information that is specific to the topic and what you have learned in conducting it. You have analysed the results to get to your conclusion, which shows off your analytical skills. However, you also repeat a lot of your information, which doesn’t show you can develop ideas without repeating yourself.

Quality of writing

Your level of English is of a mediocre standard, but you have used rather clunky sentences occasionally. You need more commas in your text, and when you have used commas, you have used them incorrectly or used them in a way that doesn’t improve the sentence. You have also used some technical language such as the names of the different atomic structures. These overcomplicate the report and do not add anything positive to the piece.