Fathers are further humanized in lines 4 and 5 when the persona states that all fathers are secretly filled with “qualms and romantic terrors.” In order to find them, however, one must first “scratch” a father, indicating that they prefer to keep these fears hidden in order to maintain the previously mentioned image. The persona realizes this, but rather than portraying it as a weakness, she depicts fathers’ hidden fears as endearing by maintaining a kind and patronizing tone. To achieve this, she uses colloquial diction such as “chock-full” and other humanizing characteristics, such as worry, to describe an otherwise annoying quality. She states that fathers hide their fears so as not to appear weak to their daughters; yet from the ironic tone of the first three lines, it can be implied that daughters not only realize that their fathers worry, but also recognize why they attempt to conceal it. It is because of this recognition that the tone takes on a patronizing feeling; the persona describes fathers’ actions with the amused disapproval of a mother who watches her child so obviously try to hide a misdeed. She does not regard fathers’ actions with anger, but instead finds it endearing that they care enough to worry, exposing the persona’s unconditional love for her father.
The atmosphere of unconditional love is relayed through the vulnerable and childlike depiction of fathers developed in the first lines and continued in lines 6 to 8. By maintaining a patronizing tone, the persona gives a more human portrayal of fathers. She describes them as beings “believing change is a threat,” and through this statement gives fathers a more sensitive aspect than the stoic superhero first described. The persona reverses the stereotypical gender role when she describes fathers as such because it depicts a fear and dependence not commonly associated with men. Going on to give examples of change, such as high heels and bicycles, creates an even more human image of fathers, as safe and unassuming items such as a pair of shoes can strike fear enough within them to hinder their reception by “months.” Though this can be frustrating, the persona indicates by hyperbolizing how long it takes to receive such items, it also depicts her endearment for her father as the hyperbole reveals the triviality of such matters.
In lines 9 to 12 the trivialness of a father’s worries is furthered. The four lines describe various everyday activities within a young girl’s life, yet fathers warn, fear, and “mistrust them all.” Things such as books, angular boys, and swimming inspire fear within fathers, though all are clearly harmless. The triviality of fathers’ fears prevents the persona’s tone from becoming angry; instead, it demonstrates a loving patronization towards fathers. By displaying the absurdity of fathers’ fears, the persona humanizes them once again therefore exhibiting her love for her father. Simultaneously, the absurdity of fathers’ fears reveals the immense love they hold for their daughters as well.
In the final four lines the persona continues to show empathy for fathers as she states, “It is difficult for them/ to learn what they must learn: how you have a journey to take and very likely/ for a while, will not return.” This statement reveals the extent of the persona’s love for her father. She realizes that it is difficult for fathers to watch their daughters grow up and that this is why they are often over protective. By also stating that “men are the worriers,” she reverses the typical gender role cast again, portraying fathers as vulnerable and insecure, and consequently evokes a feeling of understanding for fathers.
It is here that the reader finds the first lesson, from which the poem takes its name. The persona culminates her poem by telling the reader it is difficult for fathers to watch their daughters grow up. They love them very much and because of this are occasionally too protective. Though their worries seem burdensome at times, it is really because they love their daughters that they do so. By maintaining a patronizing tone throughout the poem and a mood heavily laden with unconditional love, the persona is able to depict the full extent of her love for her father. Though it is clear that that his incessant worrying was annoying at times, she understands why he did so and still loves him in spite of it. With colloquial language and simple diction, this idea of unconditional love is amplified as she speaks of his actions like a mother does of her child’s. In the same way, the rhyme scheme of abcb, defe, ghih, and jklk also functions to expose the persona’s unconditional love. She is not angry with him for his over protectiveness but instead finds it endearing, as the happy and childlike rhyming implies.
“First Lesson” explores the relationship between fathers and their daughters, but also attempts to explain a little about fathers themselves. Though they may seem infallible on the surface, they are no different than everyone else, with fears and insecurities just the same. These fears can sometimes manifest themselves in over protectiveness, but they mean no harm. Fathers are just hapless beings trying to cope with the hardships of life as best they know how. And it is here we find the first lesson McGinley is giving to young girls: though their over protectiveness is bothersome at times, it is really because fathers love you that they act in such a way.
