Over the course of my research two types of research was used. Firstly, primary research which is the current accounts of an event, written by someone who experienced or witnessed the event being studied. Therefore the material is original to the author. These original ideas are often in the form of diaries, letters, memoirs, journals and other such unpublished works. (Neuman 1999). Secondly secondary research, which consists of gathering information that has already been published from a variety of sources (Howitt, Jullian 2000) The main purpose of this research is to interpret, assign values to, conjecture upon and draw conclusions about the events reported in primary sources. Data collected from conducting primary research is gathered and analysed in a systematic way in order to obtain a certain conclusion (Neuman 1999).
In Australia society, on the whole, society as well as the government are against homosexuals and therefore this idea of having gay/lesbian children is rather difficult for parents to accept as the thought of society, which would ostracise the child and the parents too. As society still assumes that heterosexuality is the accepted norm, it is very hard for society to accept gays and lesbians. Reactions of parents vary, some are straight forward, understanding and loving. In contrast others react differently showing confusion and sadness (Broughton 2000) At the extreme, parents might also reject their children, by disowning them. However parents need to clearly understand that homosexual orientation is not a mental disorder and that a person’s sexual orientation is not a matter of choice. In other words individuals have no more choice about being homosexual that heterosexual.
At times parents also feel mislead as they weren’t informed earlier about their child’s sexual preference and how come they didn’t see it coming. Therefore many parents place the blame on themselves as they feel it was their fault. Another problem faced by families is one of religion. Families face a dilemma between the preachings of their religion and the love of their child. Over time many parents eventually accept their children for whom and what they are. After the initial shock of finding out of their child’s sexual preference in most cases parents do not act differently towards the roles the child previously had in the family. For example parents would be supportive of who their child was dating even though he/she is of the same sex. Parents react this way in order to maintain normality in their household by not looking at their sexual preference as a disadvantage (Robert, 2000). In today’s world as society is more educated and parents have encountered other family members being gay and are beginning to accept diversity in society (ibid.).
Through researching about straight parent having gay and lesbian children, the sources are very limited and concentrate mainly on how to overcome the shock. Therefore in order to attain first hand information a questionnaire was used. Why and how do I find a questionnaire appropriate for my research? The use of a questionnaire allows a diversity of opinion as the research is able to have a larger sample group from conducting an interview for example. It is possible to have a larger sample group as the interviewer does not have to be present at the time when the questionnaire is being completed (Personal and social identity, 2004). Another benefit is that questionnaires are less time consuming, therefore many more are able to be completed in a short time span (Howitt, 2002). Many structured questions in the questionnaire make it simpler for the researcher to collate and analyse the data therefore allowing the researcher to produce his/her data in an illustrative method using graphs and diagrams (Lovat, 2000).
The questionnaire that was used is targeted to homosexual family members. The target audience for this questionnaire will provide the perspective of homosexuals and how their family has reacted towards their chosen sexual preference. The target audience are homosexuals, as the researcher is able to attain a greater understanding of the parents’ reactions through the perspectives of gays/lesbians; as the hypothesis emphasizes the on the family’s reactions. (Gays and lesbians: what is their family’s reaction? Is the family approving and supportive or disapproving and negligent?). As this questionnaire allows me to get views from both sides of the spectrum, the children and later in the P.I.P I will focus more on the family. Through this questionnaire it will allow me to see a pattern and how majority of parents react before actually interviewing individual families.
The questionnaire that had been used consisted of a variety of open ended and close ended questions. Majority of the questions are closed ended questions with a selection of answers. I chose this approach as close ended questions would give me definite answers which then can be easily collated to bring about distinct patterns. Another reason closed- ended are mainly used in my questionnaire is that it can be easily answered, therefore it won’t put off the interviewee with questions that are time consuming to answer. The questionnaire being used does consist of one open ended question, which would allow me to get more diverse opinions, allowing the interviewee to freely express themselves.
Analysis of results
Topic: Gays and lesbians: what is their family’s reaction? Is the family approving and supportive or disapproving and negligent?
Data was collected mainly using questionnaires. Most of the data was collected along Oxford Street as it was identified as a location frequented by my targeted audience (gays lesbians…). The questionnaire was distributed to 30 people and the data is presented in Figure 1:
Figure 1
Figure 1 shows the respondents ages at which they realized their sexuality. The graph illustrates that 14 of the 30 respondents realized there sexuality between the ages of 9 – 12. On the whole an assumption can be made that states majority of the individuals realised their sexuality in their teenage years. This is probably as individuals experience puberty as well as start to build their identity. It is most common that they will also during this period realise their sexuality. There are however some exceptions, four individuals realized at adulthood (21+). A probable suggestion for this is that during their teenage years they were suppressed by society and their parents to express themselves freely, however as they grew older and became independent they are able to be more open about their sexual preference. Another possibility is that these individuals could have been confused or subconsciously unable to accept their sexuality.
Figure 2
In figure 2 the pie chart illustrates that majority of the parents are aware of their sexuality. This result shows that individuals are becoming more expressive about their chosen sexuality by bringing awareness to their family members instead of hiding it. Through my personal observation, I observed that the 7 whose parents did not know their sexuality were Asian. However, the race of the individual was not a question on my questionnaire as I felt that the individuals would feel discriminated by being put into certain race categories. However, as I was present during the answering of each individual questionnaire I made a personal note of their race. It was expected as in Asia society and family ties are very influential. The gay/lesbian culture is not accepted by society and as well as the family. (Ng, 2000). Therefore it is obvious that they prefer not to tell their parents out of fear that they would be disowned and not be accepted in society.
Figure 3
Figure 3 gives general time periods on when parents found about their children’s sexual preference. The results show that 65% of the parents discovered there child’s sexual preference during their late teens. This result is rather surprising as 14 of the respondents were aware of their sexuality during their early teens. The result shows that children only made their sexuality known to their parents much after their realisation. This could possibly because the children felt unsure of their parent’s reactions and at such a young age do not want their parents to lose trust in them. During the period of adolescence individuals go through many hormonal changes and this in turn brings about doubts of their sexuality (Lovat 2000), by the time the individuals are moving into adulthood they are usually more aware of their sexual preference as well as being more independent. Therefore they are able to inform their parents of their sexuality as they have developed a personal identity.
Figure 4
Figure 4 shows that out of 23 (persons who have answered ‘yes’ to question 3, therefore the parents are aware of their sexuality) people 16 told their parents of their sexual preference. Only 5 parents asked their children about their sexual preference. This could mean that individuals felt that their parents should be aware of their sexuality. Rather than the parents finding out themselves which could then lead to disputes and loss of trust between the child and his parents (Robert, 2000).
Figure 5
Figure 6
As can be seen in Figure 5 out of the 7 respondents (of which the parents are unaware of their sexual preference) 57% were unsure about telling their parents. Fourteen percent felt they would tell there parents and the rest (29%) prefer that their parents do not find out. As figure 6 shows that all the respondents feel at their parents will have negative reactions to their chosen sexuality. Most of the respondents felt that their families greatest worry about their preferred sexuality would be their child considered as an outcast in society. These results suggest that society has a great influence on the family’s reactions as well on the individual’s personal identity.
Figure 7
The answers to this question were surprising and unexpected. As the graph shows that 15 out of the 23 showed that their parents were ok about their sexual preference and had no negative feelings. In my questionnaire 15 of the individuals ticked other and specified that their parents were ok with their choice and would still love them. Before conducting this question and through the analysis of secondary resources, many parents were at most times very distraught about their child’s sexuality however the results showed otherwise. Even the 2 that answered that their parents were angry yet understanding shows that in the long run the parents are ok with their child’s sexual preference. This shows that parents are becoming more accepting towards their children and loving them for who they are. At present where there is a growing acceptance in Australia it can be assumed that parents prior to having a child are prepared if their child is gay or lesbian.
Figure 8
Figure 8 shows that whilst 87% of the respondents feel that their parents did not have any influence on their sexuality, 13% of the respondents feel otherwise and they place the blame of their sexuality on their parents. This is possibly because these individuals are condemned by society and considered outcasts because of their sexual preference tended to blame their parents for it. (Broughton, 2003)
The results gathered had a variety of mixed reactions as well as responses from individuals. However, there are distinct patterns in many of the responses, these statistics also relate to the secondary information which I have collected and pattens are now starting to become more obvious.
Limitations
Over the course of collecting my data, I faced many restrictions. The study of my hypothesis is a very sensitive issue. As I am a heterosexual and my target audience are mainly homosexuals, they felt intimidated when approached by me. They felt that by answering the questionnaire, I could go either way with my study, therefore being biased and condemning the gays. I feel they felt that way, as at present there are various debates concerning approval of gay marriages, and therefore they felt that I could be collecting information to go against this cause, as my study was concentrated on the parents. Individuals felt that my study was not genuine and had no benefit to them or the gay society by answering the questionnaire. This problem however was solved as I altered some of the questions to be as neutral as possible. Another major problem I faced was identifying my target audience, as the location of my study was not solely gay people. Having approached straight people they felt offended as they took it I was mocking them by thinking they were gay. I overcame this problem by giving individuals an overview of what I was doing, instead of just handing them the questionnaire. This allowed me to personally establish the sexuality of the individual; as if they were straight they would mention that this topic does not relate to them. Being the first time I have conducted a study of this kind it was difficult, as I was approaching people who I did not know, therefore being well prepared was essential. Other problems I faced were that a handful of individuals wanted some sort of written proof of the cause of my study for example a letter of to show the authenticity that my work is solely for school work and will not be reproduced otherwise.
Through the period of my interaction with homosexuals, I also found out that many of them find the term ‘homosexual’ rather offensive and feel that softer words should be used, such as lesbian or gay. Another restriction placed on my study was that older people were less responsive and felt it inappropriate to answer such a questionnaire: therefore my target audience was limited to those aged 19-30. I feel that this target audience is not sufficient to support my hypothesis as I believe it is necessary to get a wider range of responses. This is very difficult as it is difficult to locate teenagers from the ages 13-18 to interview. Individuals at this age are usually restricted by their family and are not as open about their sexuality. As the results show that majority of teenagers realised their sexuality between the ages 9-12 however were only able to tell their parents at a much later age (late teens) as suggested by my statistics.
After conducting the questionnaires and analysing the results I am able to see a pattern emerging in the data and the views of their parents. However there are some anomalies in the statistics. As this study is on humans and their sexual preference there are bound to be distinct variations. Every person has their own sense of identity and therefore realise their sexuality at different times.
Conclusion
Every individual has his/her own place in society irregardless of their sexual preference. However much society denies acceptance of an individual, in today’s world no one is left on his/her own, there is always someone out their who faces the same problem, always another couple having to face society because of their child’s sexuality. It is very disturbing to learn that there are a minority of parents who are not accepting towards their child’s sexuality. There is no one to blame for the child’s sexuality it is biological and not by choice.
However it is a comforting thought that the results in my research reflected society’s is becoming much more forthcoming to diversity within society. It reflects that humans are evolving to accept individuals for who they are and not for their sexuality. It is because many parents of gay/lesbian children are willing to face society and show that they still love their children irregardless of their sexual preference. Even though parents have mixed feelings towards their child’s sexuality in most cases they are accepting towards it. Parents tend to emerge from this period with a stronger, closer relationship with their children than they ever had before.
Having no prior understanding and interaction with gays/lesbians, as the society that I was brought up in was disapproving of gays/lesbians. Therefore the culture was suppressed in my home country Singapore. As my arrival in Australia I was exposed to this new culture and was very keen to develop a greater understanding of this culture of which I had many negative views of in my mind. Over the course of 20 weeks it has been, very pleasant experience learning about gays/lesbians and their parents. This experience has truly widened my horizons on a person’s individuality and the fact that parents are nowadays accepting towards it. Even though I was not able to answer all my questions, over these 30 weeks have been very educational and I learnt that parents tend to treat their children with the same love and affection after finding out of their sexual preference. Without these 20 weeks of exposure I would have been very uneducated towards the gay/lesbian culture as well as towards their families. The PIP has had a great influence on my own personal individuality as now I am able to understand problems faced by heterosexual parents raising homosexual children as well as a understanding of their reactions.
Through the period of this course I learned that parents are becoming much more open and accepting towards their child’s sexuality. Parents have mixed reactions when learning of their child’s sexual preference. However, parents are still loving and caring towards their children. Through this research I have also learned individuals are becoming more open towards their parents by informing them of their sexual preference and not trying to hide it.
It is clear to see that we are now living in a freer world, more open global society, where the openness towards individuals is apparent. Each individual differs from another and has a special place on earth. Individuals should not be victimised by the harshness of society.
Log
May
04.05.2004
Did background reading on gays and lesbians, mainly over the internet, website used . As gays and lesbians were what I wanted to do my P.I.P on.
14.05.2004
The study of gays and lesbians is very broad, my topic should be more specific.
Gays, lesbians their chosen sexuality and what is their families’ reactions, was what I felt I was most interested in studying. Started work on PIP proposal: student interviews
15.05.2004
Further reading was carried out over the internet however it was more specific towards gays, lesbians and their families.
17.05.2004
Pip part 1, due.
June
1.06.2004
Received PIP proposal, began to understand that my approach towards this project would have to be very objective. As Kim’s comments reflected that bias opinions were being used.
12.06.2004
Started researched on the internet for any relevant articles none found. However managed to attain a phone number for a gay organization in Sydney.
14.06.2004
Came across a gay newspaper (Sydney Star observer) while at oxford street, the headline suggested it was relevant to the topic being researched.
15.06.2004
Was able to find a good book (What if i know someone is gay) on my choosen topic at Taylors College library, and started working on my summaries.
17.06.2004
Through the internet I was able to gain more relevant information towards my topic. (Secondary information), an article titled Coping with your child’s sexuality.
25.06.2004
Pip part II due.
July
24.07.2004
Upon completion of my questionnaire I visited oxford street a common haunt of gays and lesbians, managed to interview a few individuals, discovered that their were faults in my questionnaire as interviewees found that some of the questions were rather bias. Asked them their opinions and gathered some useful information by having casual talk to a few of the interviewees on how to improve the questions.
30.07.2004
Revisited Oxford Street with the amended questionnaires. Managed to conduct 10 questionnaires.
August
5.08.2004
Called up gay association of Sydney, however the informed that I was unable to interview any of the ‘members’ as they felt my topic was very personal and could be interpreted in a way that goes against the gays and especially during a period when gays lesbians are fighting for the right of same sex marriages.
14.08.2004
Went back to oxford street, made a more aggressive approach by going into bars and conducting questionnaires, managed to collect 20 more the target of 30 I wished to attain had been met.
17.08.2004
Handed in Part 3 of the PIP
September
15.09.2004
Through a friend was able to attain a number for a gay individual who was willing to be interviewed. Called up the individual known as Mr Philip spoke to him on the phone and asked him about the relevant topic, he felt rather offended and informed he did not wish to be questioned further. He felt rather intimidated as he informed he had a rough time with his parents
21.09.2004
Read an article in the Times magazine ‘Bringing up your child in Asia’ from the November issue.
October
5.10.2004
Began reading on how PIPs are to be concluded over the website provided by the society and culture textbook.
10-17.10.2004
Started editing my PIP and looked for any flaws in the previous individual parts of the PIP
18.10.04
Draft of PIP due.
September
1.11.04
Started doing final editing for my final P.I.P a letter of authentication was also added.
How the PIP developed over the last 30 weeks
May- during this month the main focus was to develop a broader understanding of the gay and lesbian culture. This was possible through reading many articles in books as well as through the internet concerned to my topic. The topic that was being studied was very specific to the family’s reactions. Therefore it was harder to attain specific information on my chosen topic.
June- Being familiar with my topic I had to now start developing on attaining more information as well as start thinking about producing a primary research method from which I was able to gather information for my topic. During this month I visited many frequent haunts of gays mainly oxford street as well as rang up gay organizations hoping to gather relevant information
July – the hardest month for my PIP as primary research had to be conducted therefore much of the last week was taken up conducting questionnaires at Oxford Street. Through the analyzing of the questionnaires I became more aware of my topic.
August- carried on with conducting questionnaires in Oxford Street, knowing what to expect I was more prepared. Being more prepared benefited me whilst conducting the questionnaires was able to meet my target of 30 questionnaires.
September- as all the parts of my PIP had been submitted carried on with more readings to make attain a greater understanding of my chosen topic. During this period I called a few individuals for interviews however none were successful.
October- The first two weeks were spent editing the PIP as a whole and coming up with a conclusion.
November- During the period I spent most of my time editing and making small adjustments to my P.I.P no new information was added.
Resource list
Broughton, J (2003, August 11) Coping with your child’s sexuality.
Farrer, S (2004, June 10). Gay parents unsuited. Sydney Star Observer
Howitt B, Julian R. (2002). Society and culture. Heinamann: Australia
Lovat, T (2000). New Society and Culture. Social Science Press: Australia
Marcus, E (2000). What If Someone I Know Is Gay. Penguin Putnam: U.S.A pp. 54~57.
Ng, J (2000, August 11). My Son Is Gay: New Straits Times pp. 12
Neuman, L (1999). Social research methods. Allyn and Bacon: U.S.A
Personal and Social identity (2004). The Social and Cultural world. Study guide pp. 19~23
Robert, B (2000) Straight Parents Gay Children: Inspiring Families to Live Honestly and with Greater Understanding. Peguin Putnam: U.S.A
Letter of Authentication
To Whom It May Concern:
I certify that this assignment is entirely my own work except where is have given fully documented references to the work of others.
Sincerely
Ishpal Singh Bajaj (269069)
