Sarah Wagg
010404720
Suicide: Selfish or Selfless?
For thousands of years, suicide has been a way many men and women have chosen to die. Though not easily defined, suicide in the Western culture is thought to be “a conscious act of self-induced annihilation, best understood as a multidimensional malaise in a needful individual who defines an issue for which suicide is the best solution” (Leenaars, p 349). Defined by Webster’s dictionary, “selfish” describes an act performed out of disregard for, or at the expense of another, and the selfish person is concerned chiefly or solely for his or herself. Whether or not suicide is a selfish act is an individual decision, dependent on the reason for suicide and the impact it has on other individuals. By listening to those who have failed to complete suicide, as well as loved ones of suicide victims, one can only begin to understand the feelings associated with ending one’s life, as well as the repercussions of the act on others. In this way, the selfishness or selflessness of suicide can be determined on an individual basis.
Suicide is often a choice of individuals whose only desire is to escape emotional or physical pain, or to avoid some huge dilemma in their lives. They do not seek death per se, but an end to life as they know it. Such a feeling is so intense that it consumes a person, and they can think of nothing or no one else, as they are drowning in their inescapable pain. At first, a suicidal person may actually feel guilt, as they know that their death will negatively impact others’ lives. In order to accomplish their goal, however, they must detach themselves from the guilt and rationalize their way of ending the pain. They begin to tell themselves that others may be better off without them, or that nobody would care if they died. It is a common thought among suicidal people that their death may bring some pain, but that loved ones will recover and forget it after time. The truth is, those left behind, the so-called “suicide survivors” are often unable to grieve in the same way as they would if their loved one had died for another reason. Suicide is generally viewed as negative in our society, and survivors must cope with feelings of shame for their lost love one’s decision. Grief work is also made difficult by lingering thoughts of the idea that such a death should have been entirely preventable. Parents wonder what they did wrong —did they not show enough love? Where they responsible for making their child feel such pain? Other loved ones wonder how they could have missed the “suicidal signs”. They remember every argument, every negative comment they made, and feel almost certain that they alone are to blame for this person’s death. In fact, the most selfish aspect of suicide is leaving loved ones with so much guilt that they may never recover. In effect, people who commit suicide for the reason of ending their pain displace their guilt and sorrow onto those that love them the most.
