Teenagers today lack moral values and self-discipline. Do you agree?"
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Name: Marissa Sim (23) Class: S2/08 Teacher: Mrs. Louisa Yue Personal Exposition - Draft 2 "Teenagers today lack moral values and self-discipline. Do you agree?" Moral values and graciousness, in the past, were prominent in most teenagers. Majority of the youths then learnt respect, courtesy, consideration, decency, propriety, honesty and righteousness from a young age, and had enough self-discipline to hold to these values. However, these moral values and self-discipline are slowly diminishing over the years, as most of the younger generation are gradually disregarding these ethics. The listed values have slowly faded away, as they mean little to these adolescents, as moral values and self-discipline are on the verge of disappearing. This lack of self-discipline and self-control is becoming more and more apparent over time. However, this situation is not to be taken lightly as the younger generation is the future of our nation.
This lack in self-control in resisting their impulses leads to pre-marital sex. Another reason is that many teenagers lack the courage or self-discipline to stop themselves from breaking under peer pressure. Thus, when lead on, they are unable to say 'no' to their boyfriends of girlfriends. Under western influence, subjects such as sex are no longer considered taboo. Therefore, youths feel that it is thus okay for them to be promiscuous, which is a clear lack of principles. Another lack of propriety can be seen in the fact that the multitude of juveniles today are turning to less ethical forms of activities. Some such examples are drugs, smoking, drinking and shoplifting. As the younger generation is becoming more and more materialistic, numerous teenagers are slowly putting aside their morality to make way for their desires. Thus, actions such as shoplifting are not uncommon anymore.
Reflections The introduction to the first and second draft are somewhat similar as they are of similar content, with draft 2 slightly improved. I improved on the body of the essay, by reorganizing the points, and adding in more relevant information. The conclusion was thus changed to suit the body of the essay. Firstly, I learnt to change my assumptions. I made a lot of false assumptions in the first draft. However, I learnt to change my assumptions, especially general implications. Instead of sentences like 'morals have slowly faded away', I used 'MAJORITY of the morals are slowly fading away'. This prevents the essay from being overly assumptuous. Secondly, I learnt to use a wider vocabulary. Instead of the constant use of 'teenagers' so often, I learnt to use synonyms to replace those words to increase the sophistication of the essay. Lastly, I learnt how to constructively criticize my essays by picking out the pros and cons of each essay, and using them to my advantage.
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