The ongoing nights without sleep eventually catch up to You and cause the problems he has at work. You is seldom on time for work and rarely focuses on the articles to be checked for verification, especially the French piece. Instead, You is attempting to recover from the night before: “You dig into your desk and pull out a Vicks inhaler. Try to plow a path through some of the crusted snow in your head” (McInerney 19). As the day nears an end, nothing has been accomplished. You does not get anything accomplished because he has no ambition or energy to complete his work. Before leaving, Megan asks You to bring her a Tab. Upon returning to the office, You realizes he has forgotten Megan’s Tab. You apologizes for his forgetfulness and offers to go back out and get her the Tab she had asked for. This is just the beginning of You’s forgetfulness, and this continues to get worse, along with his cocaine usage.
As the endless nights without sleep build up, due to the overpowering of “Bolivian Marching Powder”, so does You’s forgetfulness. Once again Megan has asked You to get her something for lunch, and once again You forgot. Forgetfulness is becoming a regular occurrence for You because he has too many things on his mind. His main worry is how he is going to get his next high. The effects of cocaine are beginning to cloud over You’s memory: “It’s so hard just getting in here every morning, let alone remembering all that you’re supposed to do” (McInerney 79). Cocaine is taking over You’s life because he can no longer remember from day to day what is supposed to happen.
The extensive use of cocaine is followed by many effects in an addict’s everyday life. Drug addicts are unable to get daily tasks completed, whether it be at school or at a job, they merely cannot focus on what is to be accomplished. Basically, cocaine becomes more important in the addicts life than work or personal obligations. “Someone who has a heavy cocaine habit is absent from work often. . . . leading to poor performance on the job” (Woods 24). Cocaine has ongoing affects other than a few short hours after being of use. Rather, most addicts cannot escape the influences of cocaine and suffer the long term effects.
As the result of daily cocaine use and addiction, You faces vast problems at work. He is rarely on time to work, often due to the late night partying and snorting cocaine. Also, the lack of sleep from all night partying has a significant role in You almost always being late for work. When You is at work, he can barely focus on tasks and verifications that need to be done. Instead, You is recalling the events that took place the night before and how “Bolivian Marching Powder” was able to get him through the night. Struggling to focus on the French piece due on Clara’s desk before he leaves, You wishes he only has some cocaine to keep him awake and get him through the beyond horrible French article: “A boatload of Marching Powder might get you through this ordeal” (McInerney 25). Once again, his dependence on cocaine is what You needs to rescue him from reality. However, cocaine never rescues You from reality, instead, cocaine causes the loss of his job.
As problems in life stack up for an addict due to cocaine, they often unnoticing, resort to cocaine to help solve their troubles. Once again, cocaine offers the addict the acceptance and confidence needed to feel in control. “Drugs, for example, can be used as a means of coping with problems to such an extent that the development of more effective coping methods is limited” (Peele 142). Also, once the high from the drug wears off, addicts will do whatever is needed to keep the high going. Thus, addicts “turn to the drug again for more relief” (Woods 23).
You resorts to cocaine after getting fired from the magazine and admitting he “screwed up”, You regains his composure by snorting cocaine. You’s snorting cocaine is an attempt to lighten the feelings and emotions: “In terms of improving your mood, this might be just what the doctor ordered . . .” (McInerney 105). Basically, to You, cocaine helps lighten the mood of reality and puts him in his fantasy world. An escape from reality into a fantasy world is often what addicts want and experience while under the influence of cocaine. In an addict’s fantasy world they feel as though they are able to do everything that most cannot achieve under normal circumstances. Cocaine releases addicts into their fantasy world and users enjoy the feeling of being able to do anything, thus they will resort to any means of keeping the high “rather than finding behavioral ways to meet the needs and reduce the state of alarm” (Peele 32). Therefore, addicts “turn to the drug again for more relief” (Woods 23).
Now that You has lost his job, he has no specific place to go and nothing specific to do. Wanting to keep the buzz and good mood going, You buys cocaine from a young boy. You purchases the cocaine in order to keep the prior high. Under the influence of cocaine, You can pretend the prior events did not happen or are not as bad as they may appear to be. Even though, You lost his job primarily due to the effects of cocaine, he still uses the drug to keep himself in good spirits and to steer away from the fact he has lost his job and has no specific place to go.
Not all experiences and affects of cocaine are as wonderful as they may seem. A few addicts suffer from unpleasant after affects of cocaine. Some affects that are evident after snorting cocaine are: paranoia, anxiety, and nervousness. “But diehard users can be prone to high-pitched anxiety, irrational fears, paranoia . . .” (Andersen). Even though, most affects from snorting cocaine extend into an addict’s everyday life, which still does not stop or prolong the use of cocaine.
Throughout the days of You’s cocaine addiction, he gradually becomes paranoid and more anxious. You’s paranoia is a result of him worrying about being left behind, and others off enjoying the drugs without him. As many ideas run through You’s mind of what possibly could have happened, he becomes very anxious and a waits their return. Due to his paranoia, You goes in search of his friends. After finding out he was not being excluded from any drugs, You realizes that his paranoia and anxiety was nothing to get worked up about.
Another incident of You’s paranoia is evident at a bar when he is confronted by a young girl looking for drugs and sex. You reminds himself that he does not need to stoop to the level of buying cocaine with two young girls: “You are not this desperate, you tell yourself. You still have some self respect” (McInerney 153). Although, the next morning You wakes up in this young girl’s bed in a panic, wondering what happened and what he has done. Anxiety sets in as You quietly crept out of the girl’s room and her parents’ apartment. Once in Manhattan, You begins to calm down and is thankful to see he lived through last night, and a sense of relief sank in to be home: “You have never been so glad to see the inside of your apartment” (McInerney 155). Throughout the book, You goes through different situations that put him in a state of paranoia and anxiety which often involve the use or prior use of cocaine.
Cocaine addicts often tell lies to mask the truth in order to look or feel better about what they have done or has happened in their life. In addition, habitual lying becomes common and eventually the addict cannot distinguish between the truth and a lie. As a result, problems from cocaine keep piling up and in the end addicts “become unable to cope without” lying about what has actually happened in life in hopes horrible events will turn out for the better (Woods 23). Overall, masking the truth with lies has everlasting effects on cocaine addicts because in the end they use lies and cocaine to get them through every day obligations.
Throughout You’s many days and nights of using cocaine, he avoids coming to his senses of telling and accepting the truth. Instead, You fills gaps and mishaps in his life with lies. The lies begin with his resume, on which he claimed to know French. In all actuality, You does not know any French but is too proud to admit he was lying. Thus, You’s lying resulted in the French article being a disaster. Also, another lie You devices is the fake Vogue invitation to see Amanda. You claims to be Mister Allagash, and started working for Vogue last week (McInerney 119). You’s continuous creation of lies, eventually unravels, causing him further failures with work and his personal life. As the failures multiply, so does You’s cocaine addiction to get him through everyday life.
Not only did You lie about his resume and an invitation but also about his life with Amanda. The only person who knows the truth, that Amanda was never coming back from Paris to be with You, is Tad. Tad sent his condolences but expressed to You how he could use this to his advantage in getting women: “He advised you to say that Amanda died in a plane crash on her way home from Paris. . .” (McInerney 44). According to Tad, playing the sympathy game is always more effective in getting with the ladies. However, You never uses the sympathy scheme that Tad advises when they are out partying. Instead, You avoids the question and tells everyone that he is not sure where Amanda is, again creating another lie. Creating lies about where Amanda is and how she is doing, comes easy to You when he is under the influence of cocaine or prior use of cocaine.
Also, when people at work ask about Amanda and You, he lies and tells everyone that everything is going well. When in all actuality Amanda wants nothing to do with You and is not returning home. As for You, he does not have a clue where or how Amanda is doing with her career. Also, when You first sees and speaks with his brother, Michael, he tells his brother that Amanda is out shopping. Although, that is not the truth, and it is not until after You and his brother have a fist fight that You breaks down and tells Michael the truth. The truth is that Amanda left him and is not coming home from France. Overall, when You is out on the town with Tad and various women, he avoids telling the truth and eventually uses cocaine to get him through many evenings. Also, You avoids telling the truth by telling many lies about his personal life. Thus, when the truth comes out about how he does not know any French, his false invitation, and his life with Amanda, You resorts to cocaine to get him through the day or evening and for a sense of security that everything will turn out for the better.
Throughout You’s life he finds comfort in cocaine, much like other cocaine addicts are comforted throughout their lives with the use of cocaine. Cocaine users often confide in cocaine usage to motivate themselves in overwhelming and difficult issues in life. The difficult issues often deal with family, friends, and an individual’s personal life or their work atmosphere. For You, cocaine affects his actions and responses to the problems that originally stem from the acceptance he finds in cocaine. You eventually is unable to perform his job accurately due to numerous days without sleep and the lack of sleep turns into his forgetfulness. Which all result in the loss of his job. Due to the added stress cocaine users endure and affects of cocaine, over a short period of time addicts, especially You, suffer from anxiety and paranoia. Most of the time You’s anxiety and paranoia is due to the fact he is high on cocaine and wonders what is happening or has happened in his nights of partying. In order to avoid and having to deal with reality cocaine addicts tend to avoid the truth by lying and escaping into a fantasy world. Intertwined in You’s vast problems is the fact that he avoids telling the truth and fulfills his mishaps with lies, common characteristic of most cocaine addicts. You, resorts to cocaine to comfort him from the truth. Overall, cocaine is a motivator, a stimulant, and a way of life for all addicts including You.
Works Cited
Anderson, Kurt. “Crashing on Cocaine.” Time 11 Apr. 1983:23-29.
Bozza, Kerry L. “Cocaine Can Kill.” Current Health 1 Jan. 2002:14.
McInerney, Jay. Bright Lights, Big City. New York: Random House, 1984.
Peele, Stanton. Visions of Addiction. Lexington: Lexington Books, 1988.
Woods, Geraldine and Harold. Cocaine. New York: Time Inc., 1985.
