The divorce seemed to light a fuse that spread like wildfire throughout my family, and I felt powerless as I watched people around me suffer. The brutal divorce caused my mother to become extremely physical and verbally abusive towards my siblings and I. I was determined to not let the changes brought on by the divorce get the best of me, so I hide all my emotions. I developed coping mechanisms, that temporarily provided relief from the stress and sadness that I was feeling over the divorce. Secretly harming myself in various ways, provided me an escape from feeling emotion. I wanted to be a strong individual who was unaffected by the divorce, and I was desperate to not let anyone see how alone or depressed I was. I was dumbfounded when someone suggested I needed therapy. The coping mechanisms I developed only ended up making me more detached from my normal self. I was defiant to admit that therapy could provide the solution to my problems. My ideology of therapy, was a place where weak people went to solve problems that were out of their control. I hated the idea of going to therapy, because it forced me to admit that I needed help. Seeking help and attending therapy is the best decisions I have ever made. I realized that my parents divorce was beyond my control and I was given tools to use to deal with my emotions. I realize that I cant be superhuman and immune to the affects and changes in my life.
Its difficult to look back and remember that a simple divorce is the reason why my family was ripped to sheds. So far in my life, divorce is one of the most difficult things that I have experienced. If I was given the chance to go back and change the past, I would not change anything. Divorce has constantly challenged and tested my limits. It caused me to assume new challenges, cope with painful emotions and ultimately discover myself and define my place in the world. Divorce has made me the person I am today. If I was to look at my life through a mirror, a determined and hardworking individual stares right back at me. As college nears the corner, I am excited and eager to start this new chapter of my life. I am ready to start a new life for myself, but I will never for one minute forget the family that I love. Despite the difficult times and moments that the divorce brought about, it is an experience that has changed me for the better.