Oh What A Lovely War.
Act One.
- The play opens,
- Newspanel how nice the summer of 1914 is.
- The (M.C.) comes on and introduces the play and ad-libs. He welcomes everyone and there is input from the Pierrots.
- Newspanel how Britain will not go to war.
- The M.C. introduces people from different countries of Europe: Britain, France, Germany, and Russia. They are all talking about war, how big their empires are and their national anthems are played. The Germans reveal the plan for the attack on Paris. The countries then state how big their armed forces are.
- The Serbs and Austro-Hungarians talk about the shooting of the Archduke Ferdinand, they question who did it and come up with a ridiculous long list of people who could have killed him. The Austro-Hungarians declare war on the Serbia and Russia is mobilised.
- Britain declares war on Germany.
- Germany mobilises and tries to attack France through Belgium who are neutral but Belgium hold them off. A song is sung to jeer at Germany about how Belgium beat them.
- The battlefield is described as being unbelievable with heaps of corpses from both sides. Also how bad the war is and how bullets and shells are always exploding and the wounded are groaning.
- Songs are sung to keep the spirits of the troops up.
- A drill sergeant is introduced and he drills the young men who have just recruited and one goes over the top and chases an ice cream girl in the audience. The drill sergeant makes sounds as if he is speaking but it doesn’t actually make much sense. A song about how the ladies will make a man out of the recruits if they join up. A very convincing reason to join up!
- Two British field marshals and their Aide are travelling to an Allies meeting. They are late and the French are wondering where the British are. The British arrive and French (one of the field marshals) tries his hand at speaking French which he does badly, they discuss the Germans’ tactics for attack and when the British will send troops to help France and whatever Britain can do they will. French is constantly putting down Wilson blaming him for the reason his French is not all that good and the reason the meeting is not going smoothly. French presents Lanrezac from France with a medal from the king.
- The first British wounded arrive at Waterloo. The high-ranking officers have transport provided but the other soldiers don’t luckily though someone convinces lorry drivers to take the wounded to hospitals.
- Trench Warfare begins and scenes of what life was like in the trenches are acted out, some soldiers play games others write home. The Allies here the Germans singing and talk to them over the trenches. They send over gifts to each other. They two sides down weapons and decide to meet in no mans land and chat.
- The act comes to an end with the newspanel reading: Allies loose 850,000 men in 1914. Half the British Expeditionary force wiped out then a song and finally the newspanel: Welcome 1915. Happy New Year that will bring us victory.
