September 11th

rather than being burnt alive [INS: in :INS] with raging flames.

The families of

these people were devastated to see their loved ones die in what some

people call the worst terrorist attack in America since the Oklahoma

city bombing which claimed the lives of two hundred people. People

were seen flocking to downtown Manhattan to see if their relatives we

[INS: were amongst those :INS] saved and not killed when the trade

center collapsed. Many people stuck posters of their family members in

the hope that someone who had seen them would update them on what had

happened to their loved ones[INS: (there should me more emotion in

this para, the person reading this para should feel the pain- what

you have written is more of a factual reporting and not an essay)

:INS]

I feel the people

worst effected by these incidents are probably the people of

Afghanistan. Afghanistan is a poor nation as it is and is governed by

a terrorist group who overthrew the government in the 80's, these

bunch of fanatics call them selves the `Taliban'. The United States

believes that together with Osama bin Ladin the Taliban has [INS: had

:INS] a hand in last Tuesday's attack. The Afghanis [INS: Afghans

:INS] are now living in fear, scared that at any moment soon [INS:

(both words mean the same) :INS] the US would begin air strikes over

this [INS: (?) :INS] Afghanistan in the quest to bring Bin Laden to

justice. Pakistan and other neighboring countries have sealed off

their borders with Afghanistan so these poor innocent people cannot

even escape, they are stranded in a deep hole with no one to help them

out, and their only hope is that Osama bin ladin is captured and

handed over to the US.

My sympathy also goes out

for the NYPD (New York Police Department) and the NYFD (New York Fire

Department) officers who died in the course of duty while they were

trying to evacuate people trapped in the two buildings, unfortunately

the towers suddenly collapsed and they were crumpled as tons of steel

[INS: (describe the painful process in which they would have dies -

let the reader feel your sympathy) :INS] feel on them. These young men

and women gave up their lives to save people trapped in the buildings.

Undoubtedly we have to feel

it [INS: (grammar) :INS] for the 256 passengers and crew who were on

board the four planes that were hijacked and rammed into various

buildings in the US. They had no other option than to go along with

the hijackers who threatened to take their lives.

Last but not least the US

economy has taken a huge tumble, as people have been worried about the

attacks. On it's first day of opening after the attack, the NYSE (New

York Stock Exchange) suffered badly. It fell 700 points and is

currently at its ten year lowest.[INS: :INS]

[INS: You need to have a summing up para - highlighting what we, the

people can do to alleviate the pain of the people who suffered the

most in this attack) :INS] [INS: :INS]

[INS: [DEL: This document was downloaded from Coursework.Info - The

UK's Coursework Database :DEL] :INS]

[INS: [2][DEL: Click here to visit Coursework.Info/ :DEL] :INS]

[INS: :INS]

References

1. http://www.coursework.info/

2. http://www.coursework.info/