In fact, as we have too often seen, legislative decrees that mandate how we
should act or feel lead to only more dissension and divisiveness. Great
strides have been taken on the road to equality. Despite claims to the
contrary, women have more opportunity now to succeed than ever before.
Today, fifty percent of law school graduates are female. Where twenty years
ago perhaps 5000 women were industrial engineers, today that profession
consists of 175000 females. Blacks, too, have made great strides. They
are now mayors, governors, and judges. They hold positions of authority in
almost every segment of our country. We as a nation by and large have
indeed accepted minorities into the fold of this culture, particularly when
those minorities have done much to earn our respect. The February 21, 1992,
issue of the Messenger, however, suggests that I am not multiculturally
aware enough. It suggests that things I say or feel may be taken as
derogatory. It smacks of a political correctness and Big Brotherhood,
which, if we honestly appraise it, does more to hinder our First Amendment
rights than any oppressive behavior of the past. I am multiculturally aware
enough already without having my union trying to convince me that I am not.
I am particularly upset by the implication that remarks I may or may not
make are derogatory and multiculturally unaware. I think, and believe, that
people should be treated equally. I also believe that much of what is
deemed to be "multiculturally aware" is just plain silly. And some of the
things in the Messenger article point to this. It is true that "few of
us...think that women are the weaker sex." It is equally true that most of
realize that, unless her name is Bertha or Beulah, few women can bench
press the same weight as men, or hit a golf ball as far as Jack Nicklaus.
Admittedly, many attractive women have the physical capabilities of the
ancient Amazons, but they usually go by the name of "Blaze" or "Dementia"
and appear regularly on American_Gladiators or Roller_Derby. Yes, I do
become "impatient with elderly people who drive more slowly" than I do.
But, it's not because they are elderly. It's because I don't want to wreck
the front end of my car by running into back end of a car that is going 35
mph on an interstate highway. After drunk driving, the majority of auto
accidents are caused by drivers going under the posted speed limits. I do
not, however, become impatient with elderly people who "stow their change
before moving from the check-out counter." They're not stowing their change.
The experience of their years has taught them that half the cashiers in
the country don't know how to make change, and they're just making sure
they don't get gypped. I now have to suspect the wisdom of saying certain
things, according to the Messenger. Saying of my son, "He's all boy," is
wrong now. So, too, is saying that he and his friends are "acting like a
bunch of savages." So I can't tell them to "sit Indian style" for a while
and behave themselves. I don't understand this at all. I certainly don't
want an hermaphrodite for a son. But if he was, I still wouldn't want him
acting like a savage when we are supposedly civilized. As for the act of
sitting on the floor cross-legged, which is not to be confused with the
sitting position of meditation known as the Lotus position, I can think of
no other way to say it other than Indian style. By the time I got, "sit on
the floor cross-legged, etc...." out of my mouth, my son and his friends
would turn into all boys again and start running around like savages. The
Messenger asks if I feel that a boy who plays with dolls is less masculine.
Boys have always played with toy soldiers. Today's G.I. Joe and Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures are still dolls by any other name. When
they start playing "Let's dress like Barbie," though, I think it's time to
worry. I'm not willing to have my son put on a dress at an early age just
to see if he turns out like Ernest Hemingway. I must admit that at times I
must remind him to stop being "all boy" and that his sister is not a member
of the evil Cobra Force or Foot Clan. Next, the Messenger asks if I feel
that eating a pig is more acceptable than eating a dog. As I am neither
Jewish nor vegetarian, in which case I would really be upset by the
question, I will pretty much eat anything on the plate as long as it isn't
still moving. Any Pole who can slurp down a bowl of czardnina (duck blood
soup to those of you who are culturally unaware) ought to be able to handle
a portion or two of Rover ala Carte. I am wondering, though, how this
eating of dogs fits into the agenda of the animal rights activists. Are
they planning to travel to Eastern countries and tell them to stop eating
dogs and start chewing down a few brats and beer instead just to keep the
pigs represented equally on the world's dinner table? In perhaps a final
attempt to make its point, the Messenger asks how I would feel if a black
family bought the house next door. Given that my brother-in-law was black,
I supposed I should be the one who is insulted by this question. It's just
as silly as the other points made in the article. Nobody in their right
mind wants anybody living next door to them. All of us would probably
prefer that our nearest neighbors were forty miles away and the only way
they could contact us was by dog sled. Since we can't have that ideal, we
settle for anybody who can kill dandelions and cuts their grass on a
regular basis. We would also require that they keep their dog from pooping
in our yard. We would like them to do the same things with their kids, not
have a lot of large, loud parties, and not have the cops pull up in front
of their house every other night. Most of us have never given much thought
to the question, but when we do, we decide we don't give a hoot. I don't
presume to know about other cultures. My perceptions of other cultures can
only be based on experience. That is why I plan on attending that Summer
Camp for the Culturally Unaware. I do have one condition to place upon my
attendance at this camp. Whoever is running the camp, perhaps even the
person who wrote the Messenger piece. has to attend a camp that I am
starting down the road from them. It's called Summer Camp for the
Multiculturally Without a Clue. Every night we have czardnina and hot dogs
for supper. Then we sit Indian style around a campfire. Boys and girls
are welcome regardless of race, religion or creed.
