So I’ll just write all I can.
Dear, Diary? Log? I don’t know, to whom this may concern.
I am Paul Baumer, 19 years of age… Umm. Hmm. I should probably start from the beginning. Well I joined the army believing that it would be an exciting adventure. I believed would be a great experience to join the war. How I was terribly wrong. Why did I ever believe those nationalistic words Kantorek spoke. That’s all he ever talked about. All the lessons we’re about the glory in war. Iron Youth nonsense. He has no idea what its like here. In fact, the older generation told us all lies, we all realized this during our first bombardment. They’ve never experienced it, to kill a man with your bare hands. Our lives have been ruined, it is too late for us, I mean we started our lives in this war, even if we did survive what would we return to?
War has many effects on man. I’ve observed these soldiers right before they go into the front or no man’s land. They are good-natured, friendly and perfectly normal, until they charge in. I see their eyes change, almost as if they have a ‘second sight’. They change into these beasts, animals. They are completely different from before. I don’t think they are fully aware of what they are doing, until they come back.
This skill, to put ones emotions aside to be able to kill without reacting or feeling is crucial. We all grow to it. We turn old, numb and cold to the point where we forget some of our past or can’t even feel at home. I try to remember who I was before the war and try to hold on to it as long as I can. But it just seems less important every time I do. As if it didn’t matter who we were anymore. I don’t know who I am sometimes. We are losing ourselves in this war.
The only thing I have been grateful for in this war are my comrades. These men, I have formed unbreakable bonds with them. Bonds that surpass any mere civilian could ever possibly create. Although, these bonds were made through blood, fear and violence. We have shared life-threatening experiences and to survive we created these bonds to be able to trust and help each other. Without them, I believe I’d be dead by now. Kat, especially, has taught me almost everything I know. I adore Kat. He’s always been there, not just for me but also for everyone else, always helping the new recruits and finding us food. He’s like a father figure; he cares for us like his own family. Maybe it’s because he misses his family. I still would have been lost without Kat; he’s preparing me for the days that he won’t be around. But I think that’s unlikely, I’ve always thought of Kat to be the last to go out of all of us.
Sadly, we are all at are limit right now. Some of us are going to collapse and just give up. We are worn out. When will this finally war end! Even if I live, I’m not sure if it will be better or worse. But I know that the longer I survive this war the more I will hate it.
OUT OF CHARACTER TAKE OFF PROP
In the end, Paul was the last of his classmates to pass away. Paul knew that his life had already been destroyed by the war. His death was quick and painless and finally put him to his long awaited rest. If he had survived, he would have come home to his sick mother and do what she wished, get a job at the cookhouse and live a ‘normal’ life. If he couldn’t do that he would have drifted from towns to towns, never come home and wasted away.
