‘So what you want to do, it’s on you,’ R.B looked hard at him.
‘All we got to do is find the aftermath part two, besides I know who’s got it.’
‘Who’
‘Some old dude, they call him Dr BumRush, he’s going around saying he took the game from us, he’s got 10 plots and he’s already sold two.’
‘Let jus’ blow him away he’ll never see it coming,’ Slim nodded grabbed the shotgun, and they rode towards the now setting sun.
They needed lodging for a night but neither of them had money. That would be sorted tomorrow. Now Slim had no friends left, and all R.B’s acquaintances were dead. So when it came down to it there was only one person left,
‘hi mom.’ R.B was adamantly against seeing his mother, but Slim was allegedly an orphan, so here they are.
‘Well hi thar ‘ombre! You’s acquainted with my only son, aw now I’ll bet ‘e makes ya call ‘im R.B eh? Well that jus’ stands fer--’ R.B cut her short,
‘shut yer yapper ma or’ else I’ll blow yer lungs out!’
‘He’s a good boy really,’
‘Ma!’ No one said anything significant after that, the infamous duo found a room to sleep in, but this was right next to R.B mother’s room and a soft sobbing could be heard amidst prayers most of the night.
‘Let’s ride,’ Slim spat. They rode south to Dr BumRush’s ‘hub of operations’, R.B was very proud of his wide vocabulary. Slim was just taken aback. The elusive doctor runs, amongst other things, Shadeville with but a small band of hoods. Female hoods. Zero fatalities, by all accounts killing a woman in those day was like raping a ten year old girl, and hanging her with a vertebral column as a noose on a tree in her parent back yard. Chivalry was paramount. No one ever has had the audacity.
Our intrepid ‘heroes’ appear on the edge of Shadeville, to liberate it. Security was very tight, as soon as they rode in, their horses heads exploded, and they were captured. By women. Slim and R.B were cursing to their hearts content as they were dragged before Dr BumRush. The doctor seemed to recognise R.B and called him by his full name, Slim fell to his side in convulsive laughter, almost to the point of death, R.B was staring dagger quite happy to finish the job, nothing infuriated him as much as anyone with the impudence to call him that. The room they were now in was like a throne room and many small chairs surrounded the “throne”. Children, boys but mainly girls occupied these chairs. About ten to fourteen in age. R.B had a brief flash back, and stared coldly into the doctor’s eyes. The doctor eyed him curiously, his small beady eyes resting on copious bags of skin. He got up with great difficulty knocking over his teacakes. He snorted at the paper-like china now shattered on the floor. He patted a girl, muttering his cumbersomely flaccid hand made a squelching sound on contact. Breathing heavily he slithered gauchely forwards. Finally they came nose to nose and the doctor mumbled something into R.B’s ear. Looked at R.B and smiled a crooked smile. R.B smiled back leaned forward and bit the doctor’s nose. He felt the warm blood treacle into his mouth. He shook his head to and fro vigorously until the end of the doctor’s nose came off and the pallid bone gleamed at R.B. amidst a rain of profanities the doctor uttered,
‘insane…take…dungeon’
R.B woke up feeling very proud of himself. Slim was quiet a while then started gloating,
‘spy what I’ve pilfered,’ he whispered, R.B scoffed internally at his poor attempt at using big word, and half heatedly rolled over. Then his jade-green eyes glowed intensely. Slim had pulled something from his pants. Two pistols. He also had a plan.
‘OK listen good,’ R.B scoffed again, inside, ‘when the lady guards come to execute us we stick ‘em up see. Then lock ‘em up in ‘ere all of ‘em. Then we’re clear for BumRush.’ R.B rolled his eyes and nodded.
‘Okay boys y’all come wit’ me an--’. A yelp caught in her throat and lost. She slid to the ground leaving a snail trail of blood sown the sandy wall. She slid for an eternity, Slim stood stunned. R.B glanced at him cackled softly, and walked over to the limp body. Kneeled and poked his finger into the head wound waved the crimson digit at Slim and sucked it, a wry smile spread across his face.
‘Hey! God… no par’ner. Give a damn!’ Spluttered a very frustrated Shady.
‘She would have killed you,’ R.B flatly replied, ‘besides, give a damn? I don’t know what a damn is to give it.’ He looked up at the ceiling and mumbled his thought Slim picked up bits, ‘like one time…said same thing…swinging… at…cat…by tail.’ He blinked a few times, and then suddenly seemed alert. Slim looked on with concern ‘ hey sometimes I worry…’ they’ve been best friends for two days, but that’s more than most. Friends are made easy and lost even easier in the Wild West.
R.B killed ten more women guards that day; one was unarmed. They were now at the second floor of Dr BumRush’s building. They posed like posters outside the door to the doctor’s throne room. Inside the sun’s penetrating rays going though the stained glass windows. So the room was awash with colour. This accompanied by the smoky atmosphere created by chronic smoke; the room had a relaxing air. Then at the source of the smoke sat Dr BumRush and at his feet a sexy brunette strummed on a harp. R.B slowly stepped through the door, brushing wood and splinters from his chest, he took a three pace advance cocked his gun and fired two shots. The melodically tranquil music stopped. Now the coloured smoke only served to make the scene more sinister. ‘Welcome to my humble lil’ party, but I don’t recall inviting you.’ An antagonistic voice sliced through the maelstrom of smoke. ‘You should have joined me long ago, boy we’d be so good you and I,’ he was rasping. A shotgun cocked from behind the smoke, ‘ ah, memories I remember a lil’ R trying to brass off with a shotgun, but you weren’t even strong enough to cock one.’ He chuckled to himself. A snarl rose up from R.B’s gut, the word seared his ears. Never the less he retorted.
‘You wanted me to join you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Under you?’
‘Yup.’
‘As your hit man?’
‘Mm-hmm.’
‘ As your DOG!’ he was shouting now.
‘Yes and in return you’d have power, power only surpassed by me and GOD!’
R.B sneered turned to the sileutte of Slim and said
‘sounds tempting, I’m a lot older now.’ He walked towards Slim until he shimmered into focus. He winked at him caught him in an affectionate embrace and whispered, ‘on three we take this dog out.’ He reached for Shady’s back pocket, pulled out a dagger, and stabbed Slim in the lower spine. He mumbled into slims ear. Took two paces back and shot him in the head.
The faint sound of hooves found their way to R.B’s ear. Thinking fast he ascended to the throne. ‘You see I’ve proven my loyalty.’ The doctor laughed and nodded.
‘You’re out numbered give it up varmints!’ R.B quickly grabbed the doctor’s arms and broke them. The shotgun clattered to the floor and went off. This bang riled the sheriffs and deputies, and amidst a chorus of ‘yee-haws’, they blindly opened fire. R.B held the doctor close, and rasped, ‘being under two people is two too many for me y’hear? Now bleed!’ fragments of the doctors brain flew about, with a close range yank on the trigger of a .45. He dragged the dead heavy body towards the window. The chronic starting to affect his judgement. He jumped, sort of, from the window twisted quickly and landed on what can only be described as Swiss human. He scrambled unsteadily to his feet and stumbled towards a sheriff horse. He looked back at the hole where the window was and saw the chronic smoke come billowing out. He pulled a 12 gauge from the side of the horse, and whilst wondering whether stained glass was expensive, he started. As to his amusement the authorities came tumbling out under the influence of chronic and R.B just made sure they didn’t hit the ground alive. He blew on his gun, giggled like a schoolgirl. Mounted and spurred his new horse into action and was pleased.
Rosebud rode towards the setting sun.
Life was always more fun being on the run,
Got his gold, got his gun.
Ever since his life as an outlaw had begun
Got his shotgun by his side
Got his ho’ and got his ride
He’ll ride ‘till there ‘aint no place to hide.
He’s sad because the bad guys always die.
