Creative writing.

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GCSE English coursework                Eimran Khan

GCSE English Coursework

Creative writing

As a child I would come here all the time, but as time went by I didn’t go as often, until eventually I stopped going.  Some of my best memories were here with my brothers and friends.  I particularly liked the playing fields, where we would play football.  Sometimes I would visualise myself playing for Manchester United.

On a cold and dark evening, I came back and I looked around; a lot of things had changed.  It was as if time was running out: the sand glass having only a few grains of sand left, before time ran out.  Nature was dying.  The insects and other bugs had died out and all that was left was a barren wasteland.  Only the man-made structures stood.

The trees and bushes had lost their leaves and all that was left something that looked as though it had been dried up in a desert.  The branches had become arms with clawed fingers: sometimes they would deliberately scare the children.  The old tree was still there, but it wasn’t the way I remembered it.  The bark had come off to reveal a sinister smile.

A strong gale blew through, brushing my face.  It sent a chill down my body. It made and eerie noise like a wolf howling under the midnight moon.  Noisily it explored, picking up rubbish and hurling amber leaves around.

I sat down on one of the old swings, remembering of the times I had as child.  They were moving by themselves in a pendulum motion.  They creaked as they the rusty chains moved to and fro.  It was showering a little now and again.  The ground was wet and the leaves and become dried skins: the puddle in front of me reflected the crescent moon and my face in front of it.  For a moment my face blurred into the face of child.

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The roundabout still stood; the paint-work on the frame had crumpled off like a snake shedding its skin, only underneath was a fragile and rusty fame.  It wouldn’t turn very fast anymore.  Soon the time will come when it won’t function anymore and it will just be another scrap fragment in a scrap heap, but its life will start over again ⎯ maybe as a car.

The sandpit had been covered up, so it wouldn’t come into contact with the rain.  This didn’t stop the wind from blowing the cover off and sand flying around everywhere.  I shut ...

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There is some good description in this writing but there is a lack of direction in the overall piece with the reader being left a bit confused. At times the expression becomes unclear and careful proofreading must be carried out. 4 Stars