Danger Wishing
I’ll never wish for anything again, it’s a dangerous business. Some people wish they would win the lottery or wish they had some fantastic talent that would bring them fame. I had a wish once, I got mine, and it cost me dear.
Typically the train was late and I cursed it as I stood on the platform, freezing, hopping from one foot to another, my dress swaying form side to side in the wind. My breath was making small clouds in front of me. Eventually when the train did arrive I joined the other commuters in the usual scrum around the carriage door. Like a flock of penguins shuffling around in the cold trying to keep warm, each one of us was fighting for the prime position nearest the door. All etiquette evaporates when humans try to board a train; it’s just one big scramble for a seat.
I was glad to finally be aboard. The warmth cheered me a little and took my mind off the usual musty, stale beer and body odour stench that normally accompanies rail travel. Suddenly, up ahead, was that him? Yes it was. I recognized his smartly cropped dark hair, and expensive looking suit. This is it, I thought. I’m going to make my move. ‘Just go and sit next to him’ I told myself. ‘Oh he’s so gorgeous.’ I checked my reflection in the window. Hair’s fine, lippy ok, well this is it. My heart was pounding, just a few more steps and I’d be... then, a woman coming in the opposite direction threw herself in the seat next to him. "Hello Philip" she purred, "haven’t seen you in ages.” Damn and blast! Who was this women?
I had to make do with a seat a few rows down. Fortunately I got one facing Philip. Well at least I knew his name, thanks to HER! She was beautiful, very beautiful. I could see her flashing her big brown eyes at him and smiling with her perfect teeth. For the time being I comforted myself with the fact that her hair may be blonde like mine, but at least mine didn’t come out of a bottle.
As if things couldn’t get any worse, I spotted the jelly man heading in my direction. ‘Please God don’t let him sit next to me,’ I uttered under my breath. The train was starting to pull away again and jelly man stumbled around, clattering his bags against the seating and not bothering to apologize. My worst fears were realized when he slouched in the seat opposite me, panting like an overfed Labrador whose owners are too lazy to take it for a walk. "Just made it eh!" Oh God, now he’s spoken to me. "Yes lucky" I replied, ‘but not lucky for me’ I told myself. He began loosening his coat. His fat pear shaped body flopped out of it, reminding me of one of those wildlife Antarctic scenes featuring a walrus. It was impossible not to notice that the last few buttons on his shirt were undone and his overstuffed belly was exposed. I’d even been robbed of the pleasure of planning dinner now.
Jelly man began his familiar ritual. Out came his laptop and whilst it was bleeping to life he made a phone call. He tapped the mouse impatiently with the underside of his wedding ring waiting for the connection. Who would marry him? "Hello, sweetheart," he said, his nasally tone drooling into the ear of the unfortunate lady on the other end. He never used such terms when he called his wife. I hated people who couldn’t be faithful, especially horrible ugly ones like jelly man. ‘Why is life so unfair?’ I asked myself. Here I am, twenty something, single and quite attractive female with a nice figure and I can’t find one man, and there’s bloody jelly man with a wife and a mistress.
Once he’d concluded his sleazy business he set about his trademark jelly, jelly, on the keys of his laptop. If I hadn’t seen him nearly every night for the past 16 months on this journey, I or anyone for that matter, could have been forgiven for thinking he was typing up some work related document, or even a novel. Alas there were no redeeming features to jelly man; he was just playing some childish computer game.
I glanced over at Philip and the bottle blonde, who were engrossed in conversation. How did she know him? She was definitely flirting with him. Was he single? I’d never managed to get a look at his wedding finger. The way she was draping herself over him and laughing at his jokes, you’d think she knew he was fair game. Well, there’ll be other journeys and I’ll have to be more daring next time. Yes that’s it, I thought, more daring.
Looking around the carriage, people were beginning to settle into their usual routines. Some were reading whilst others dozed. Some chatted while the remainder of us either engaged in people watching or stared aimlessly into space.
I tried to convince myself that it didn’t matter. ‘Ok so forget what’s happened tonight, it’ll be alright tomorrow’. But it was no use I couldn’t stop staring at them, they were getting on so well. Jelly man’s phone rang with that infuriating ring tone. Not only was it such an appallingly bad tune, but it was made all the more annoying by the fact that I could never identify it. It always frustrated me even more when I found myself trying to figure out what it was. It was always on the tip of my tongue but I could never get it. One evening I’d been humming it in my head all night and even woken up at 3:20 am with it still bouncing around my brain. ‘GOD I HATE THAT MAN’ I raged to myself. He answered the call, annoyed at being interrupted from his leisure activity. "YES!" he snapped. "Well I’m on my way home Simon, I can’t talk now I’m busy".
