She had not seen him since the day in the park. They had been talking about Charlie as usual. About how he had always been there for them both and how they felt lost without him. Then George’s voice had changed to a slow deep one and he went on to say how he had never thought that Charlie would actually do a thing like that. Emily remembered being confused at this point and asking what he meant. It was then George admitted to suggesting to Charlie that if he seriously wanted a release from the world that he took Junk. He even admitted to her supplying it and telling him how to do it. He had promised to her that it was the first time Charlie had ever done anything like that and that it was just a really bad coincidence that it was a bad hit. He had said it as if it was a normal ever day thing that someone takes his or her first hit of Junk and is killed. She remembers his words on that day exactly but hers aren’t as clear. She remembers the words murderer and bastard coming up a lot and the slap.
She didn’t know what to do. Her plans to attack him that she had thought up did not seem right in a churchyard. She turned to go, at least she now knew where the grave was and she felt she had done something for Charlie. As she was walking the path back to the car it suddenly came to her, why should she go when she wanted to pay her respects to her brother and his murderer was sitting there, being so hypocritical and disrespectful to the dead? Normally she would never have had the courage to just stride over but it was anger that drove her to do it. She walked over taking large strides as she went. Strides that were full of power, love, hatred and anger, pure red-hot anger.
“ I think its time you went, don’t you?” Her voice had an edge to it. He looked up at her and then looked down again. She couldn’t believe it. She wanted him away from her; away from her brother and away from everyone she loved. She repeated her question with more power this time. This time started to turn to go.
He had always been taller than her but he seemed to have grown even more since she had seen him last. He turned and looked at her, his face was pale and it was only now that she realised how different he looked. He had lost a lot of weight; his clothes were hanging off his body and his hair looked lank and greasy. She still had feelings for him, however much she told herself otherwise. She tried to justify the fact to herself by reminding herself that three years is a long-time and like all the books say, you never forget your first. She grabbed his sleeve before it was out of reach. He turned and looked straight into her eyes. His eyes were the same except for one detail; the twinkle she had loved had faded. There was no cheeky, fun-loving boy anymore.
Where was the guy she had fallen for years before? She missed the boy that had walked into her life on her thirteenth birthday. He had walked into her house with Charlie after school. “ This is George” was all the information given on that day, but from the moment he gave her that birthday kiss on the cheek she knew there was something about him. From then on she would find excuses to hang out with her “cool” older brother and in time Charlie had accepted this. They became more like friends than brother and sister but the protective streak every big brother has over his little sister was still there. So, when Charlie found out about Emily and George’s relationship, he beat George up. He grew to accept it though and in time they were often on double dates and just hanging out together.
But now in place of the guy she had fallen for, was a morose ill-looking thing. “ Sit down again”. He slowly walked back to the bench and sat down next to where she had placed herself. Neither spoke but words were not necessary. He could tell that she was confused and she knew he was sorry for what he did. She wanted to hold him and tell him she still loved him but on the other hand she wanted to tell him how much she still hated him.
During this silence she noted to herself the difference in his outward appearance. His clothes were old and torn, and there were no top of the range trainers, but instead old battered ones that were falling apart. What had happened to Mr. Fly Boy? The guy with all the top designer labels and every pair of trainer Nike had ever been produced. Money had never been a problem; he was loaded compared to other 16 year olds. He got all of his money from the drug dealing. She hated him for the dealing now but when you’re younger you sometimes only see the black and white. “Wow, she’s the girl that’s going out with George, you know, the drug dealer”, everyone had known who Emily was and she had loved it. George had been the cool rich kid; everyone was his mate, even if they weren’t his “customers”. Neither Emily nor George ever touched the drugs though. It was just a job to George and he didn’t like bringing business into his personal life. Emily had made him promise never to touch them but she thought to herself at that exact moment, maybe he had broken it.
“How are you then?” he asked cautiously. What did she want from him? She looked just as he had remembered her, gorgeous. Sitting there, close enough to smell her perfume was a moment he had thought never possible again after she had left him standing in the park. George had caught sight of her walking into the churchyard about ten minutes before. He could tell she didn’t know where Charlie’s grave was. He sat there hoping she wouldn’t recognise him. He felt embarrassed about the way he looked for the first time since his degradation. He looked such a mess, he had to sort himself out, but what was he point he often reminded himself. The girl he had loved and still loved hated him and his best mate was dead because of him. Unfortunately for George, Emily had caught sight of him and was walking over. He could tell she still hated him, he decided not to argue against anything she said. He didn’t want her seeing his face but as he was going he had an urge to see her eyes just once more. He turned and looked into them. They were still the same, still enchanting and sparkling. She stopped him from going; he ran the moment over in his head a million times before he sat down again. They just sat there but he couldn’t stand the silence anymore so he spoke. Five minutes later she still hadn’t replied to his first question so he took a very deep breath and said it. “ I'm sorry!” He had wanted to tell her that ever since the incident had happened.
How dare he say sorry? She thought to herself. He should be on the floor pleading with her, not using meaningless words such as “sorry”. She had heard that word used too much in the past two years. To her it was a pointless, worthless word. If he knew her at all he would know that sorry wouldn’t be enough. She threw a look towards him, a look of disgust and disappointment. His face dropped even more. He had meant it when he said it, she could tell. She replied to his first question and from that they started a civil conversation, talking of how their families were and how they’d been getting on. Then she plucked up the courage and asked him. “ What happened to you?” There was silence.
He knew she would find out sooner or later from someone. At least if it came from him she could hear the truth, none of the rumours or exaggerations. He took a breath and thought of how he could put it. How do you tell your ex-girlfriend that you tried to commit suicide because your life was so awful after she left you? He didn’t look at her; he didn’t stop for a pause but just rolled it off his tongue as if he was reciting it. When he finally stopped he looked over at her.
Because of her he had tried to kill himself. Well, because of her and what had happened to Charlie. Emily had never noticed how badly things had affected him. She had been so angry with him and trying to sort herself out at the same time that she hadn’t noticed anybody around her. She felt the anger and hatred seeping out of her body, there was still some but not enough to stop her doing what she did next. She leant over and hugged him.
Maybe he seriously was trying to help Charlie when he gave him the Junk; maybe he actually wanted to help him get out of his depression. Maybe, just maybe he actually felt as bad as she did when Charlie went. She thought about the times when all three of them would hang out. She remembered the time they snuck into a club but got caught by a teacher and the time they camped out in the forests but got so scared they had to go home in the middle of the night. There had been three in George and Emily’s relationship. Them and Charlie. But they had never minded, it was how it worked. “Best friends till death do us part and then for evermore” was there saying.
George felt like a building had been lifted off his back after he had come clean to Emily. She didn’t say anything but just hugged him. It was if she was talking to him through brain waves. She was telling him to remember the good times. He remembered the time they went down to London together, all three of them and he had brought Charlie and Emily both matching chains in Tiffany’s. He could still remember what Charlie had said that evening. “Friends till death do us part and then forevermore”. That was there saying. He pulled his sleeve up to see the chain that Charlie and Emily had got him in return for Christmas one year. He had had the saying engraved on the back. Emily broke away from the hug and looked at the chain. She suddenly took her bag and pulled out her chain.
They looked at each other; they looked at the chains and smiled. Emily reached into her bag once more and pulled out Charlie’s chain. She walked over to the grave and buried it in a shallow hole. She took Georges hand and they sat there both looking at the grave. The three of them were back together. Emily sat there crying, not caring who saw them this time. Charlie had won but she didn’t care, He deserved it. She stood up and pulled George up with her. “Best friends till death do us part and then forever more” she recited. She leant down and kissed the headstone. “Merry Christmas big brother, we’ll all be together again one day, see you then!” she whispered and walked off hand in hand with George. She had forgiven George but she will never forget.
