Her body swayed forward along with everyone else. A muffled voice came out from the announcement above her. It was her stop, time to get off. Mrs. Tao gathered her things and squeezed off the bus with the rest of the crowd. Instead of fresh cool air she thought would be welcoming her back, waves of heat and humidity mounted onto her face like a hot facial mask. Ignoring this feeling, she browsed through some shops as she walked down the Orchid Rd. Within minutes, a nearby vendor hollered right at Mrs. Tao.
“TWO FOR $20, ON SPECIAL RIGHT NOW!”
“Uh…it’s okay…no thank you?”
“What! It’s very cheap la, I’ll help you put it in a bag and…”
“No, I don’t want it.”
“*Ciao ah you. Then why did you touch it! Go away.”
With an unpleasant glare, the man turned his back, meaning for her to leave. Prices are way too high these days. Why, I can get almost the same thing in the second hand store for less than half of its price here.
Mrs. Tao finally stopped in front of a tall and modern building. The glass doors slid open automatically, and let out a cool breath. The air-conditioned lobby felt much better. Tap…tap Mrs. Tao made her way to the elevator, tap…tap… The marbled floor was so clean and smooth that you could see your own reflection in it. She ran her finger over the directory and found the floor she was looking for. The heels of her shoes sunk into the soft carpet as she stepped out of the elevator. Mrs. Tao’s white knuckles banged against a hard surface.
“Come in.”
A man’s voice replied.
The door cracked open and a small yet clean room came into view. In the middle of it sat an ordinary looking man. The desk in front of him matched with other furniture in the room. On top of it was a neatly arranged stack of paper and files. The man sat looking as if he had been waiting for her for a long time. The brightness of the light reflected off a shiny spot on his head. A ragged brown suit fitted him perfectly in size and personality. One word to describe this man. Dull.
“Hi, is Dr. Wu here?”
“I am Dr. Wu,” the man said extending a rough looking hand. For a second, Mrs. Tao saw a flicker of warmth in his eyes.
“Hi there, and you must be Mrs. Tao.”
“Yes…sorry if I am late, there was a little traffic problem and…”
“No no, you are not late at all. I always prepare myself for the next patient onward.”
Patient…how she hated that word.
“So Mrs. Tao, I have learned that you think your son is experiencing some hard changes in life, and you want some help. Is that so?”
“Oh, yes. My son Johnny is studying in USA right now. I sent him there to study about half a year ago. Since then, through the letters he sent me, I have noticed some great changes.”
As the mention of her son, tears welled up into her eyes. She did not want her son to grow up like his father.
“Letters…Do you have them here Mrs. Tao?”
“Yes, here they are.”
Mrs. Tao extended her hand from her front pocket, revealing a neatly stack of opened letters in her hand. With care and caution, Dr. Wu opened the first one lying on top. His eyes schemed through the paper, with a nod of approval from Mrs. Tao, he begun to read.
“Dear Mama, January 14, 2000. How are you? …Your health? I am doing great in school, the American teachers are nicer than the Singaporean teachers are…heh heh, I see… My favorite subject is literature. How is dad? Have you heard from him since he left?”
With a raised eyebrow, Dr. Wu asked. “Now Mrs. Tao. Would you like to tell me more about your husband?”
“My husband…ex-husband had a drinking and gambling problem. He lost all of our money. And in return, he put his angers on us. James used to…hurt me, sometimes he even beat up Johnny when he tries to help. But that boy has a loving heart. He doesn’t hate like his father. Half a year ago, my ex-husband, James, walked out of the house, and we never heard from him then.” Tears swirled in Mrs. Tao’s eyes. But she fought the war against crying, and she was going to win. With a slight nod of his head, Dr. Wu went back to his reading.
‘I saw snow for the first time. It’s so pure…so white. I wish I could bring some back to Singapore to show you mama. When I come back, I’ll buy the big house we’ve always wanted. I don’t know what to say, Mrs. Tao. Johnny seems responsible, very mature for an 16 year old boy.”
“ Yes, he is mature. Our family condition forced him to be.” Mrs. Tao replied bitterly.
“Now, I’m sure it’s not as bad as…“
The look in Mrs. Tao’s eyes stopped Dr. Wu from finishing his sentence.
“There’s more. Those are the first letters he wrote to me, two days after he left Singapore. From that day on, he wrote to me at least once every week until…” Before she could continue, her eyes started to glitter again.
“Don’t worry. Let me take a look at the others first. Dear Mama, February 17, 2000…Valentine’s Day… school dance. I didn’t dance with any girl. I am not really popular in the school…. Outcast…the teachers are okay. Most kids don’t like them, so I guess they are not all that nice…”
The smile became a stiff and frozen expression on his face.
“February 28… school is boring now. I got 5 A’s and 3 B’s for my first term. I go out with people on the weekends… there are some pretty girls here too… I want my next month allowance in advance...”
“Dr. Wu, do you see anything wrong now?”
“Hum …well, I heard things are quite expensive in the US. “
“Ma… My second term mark dropped a little bit. But I still made it to the Honor Roll…Johnny
By now, the smile had completely vanished from Dr. Wu’s face.
As his eyebrows became closer and closer, Mrs. Tao’s heart beat faster and faster.
“M, I’ll only write to you once every month now…bye…J”
Mrs. Tao was no longer in control of her tear ducts. Tears ran her cheek like two strings of water beads. ”And this it the letter I received two days ago from him.” She said through sobs and sniffs.
“May 31, 00. Hi, need more money. My marks are still OK. Hey, is it possible for me to stay here for two years instead of one? J”
“Dr. Wu, my son Johnny was very close to me. We had a relationship that was seldom found between a mother and her son. But from the letters he sent me in the past few months. I don’t know what’s happening. He isn’t the Johnny I used to know. Please doctor. You are a psychiatrist, you should be able to help.”
Dr. Wu handed Mrs. Tao a tissue to dry her eyes. He thought for a few moments, and when he faced her again, surprisingly there was a smile on his face.
“What is it doctor?”
“Ahem…from my years of experience, my assumption is that there is nothing wrong with your son Johnny, he is a perfectly fine kid.”
Mrs. Tao let out a sigh of relief. But her body tensed again as she made out the words
“Then…what is happening to him?”
Looking up slowly from the letter, the doctor replied.
“Johnny is just, growing up.”
Bauyee – Singaporean slang for girls desperate for a boyfriend
Yan dao - Singaporean slang for handsome boy
Ciao – commonly used in Singapore for crazy woman
