Meanwhile, Lady Capulet has come to talk to Juliet about marriage, with the nurse in the room. This scene provides the idea of parental love. Lady Capulet’s relationship with her daughter, Juliet, is much more formal than the relationship between the nurse and Juliet. Juliet would have probably grown up with the nurse looking after her and therefore she feels closer to her and finds it easier to talk to her. The nurse is a lot less formal and her love for Juliet shows through her character. In the play, she can be seen as the mother figure for Juliet whereas Lady Capulet is rarely seen with Juliet except in brief scenes such as this one.
“How stands your dispositions to be married?
Juliet: It is an honour I dream not of.” (1.3.65-66)
The conversation between mother and daughter is very formal and Juliet answers politely as she does not want to upset her mother. The marriage would be arranged and with Paris. The marriage is not about love, it is about what was right at the time. For a girl of Juliet’s age, marriage was the next step whereas with Romeo, they decide to get married together out of love.
Later on in the play, Romeo and his friends, Mercutio and Benvolio, hear about the ball that Capulet is holding. They decide that they want to go but will go in secret. Romeo is hesitant at first,
“Give me a torch, I am not for this ambling.
Being but heavy, I will bear the light.” (1.4.11-12)
Romeo is being quite tedious and is not in the mood to compete with Mercutio’s wild character but eventually he is persuaded to go. The main reason they decide to go in the first place is out of spite for the Capulets, however, at the ball, Romeo meets Juliet, the love of his life.
“O she doth teach the torches to burn bright.
….Did my heart love till now? Forswear it sight,
For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.” (1.5.41&49)
This is an example of courtly love as Romeo refers to Juliet in terms of light saying that her beauty is brighter than any fire from the torches and that her presence lights up a room. He believes it is love at first sight. This shows that love and hate are connected as he finds love through hate. When they first speak to each other, it is an example of romantic love. They speak of love and kissing in religious terms by referring to ‘pilgrims’, ‘holy shrine’, ‘holy palmer’s kiss’ and ‘saints’. This makes their love more profound and beautiful and it makes the audience completely forget about the reason for Romeo coming to the ball in the first place. Therefore, once again, love overcomes the hatred. Love and hate are also linked together in the words of Juliet when she finds out that Romeo is a Montague:
“My only love sprung from my only hate,
Too early seen unknown, and known too late!” (1.5.135-136)
Juliet has found the only person she loves from the only family she hates. The meeting was regretted but it was too late to turn back as they had already fallen in love. They both fear the consequences of their love, but without any thought of changing their minds that they really love each other.
The second chorus is a contrast to the first. It is much gentler and about Romeo’s love for Juliet.
“That fair for which love groaned for and would die,
With tender Juliet matched, is now not fair.” (Act 2, chorus, 3-4)
It is talking about Romeo’s love for Rosaline, which was once so strong, has now died away as it does not even compare to his love for Juliet. It makes his love for Juliet sound strong and powerful as though it could never be defeated.
This leads on to the balcony scene where Juliet is speaking about Romeo as Romeo listens in secret from the bushes below.
“O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father, and refuse thy name.
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love
And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.
…’Tis but thy name that is my enemy.
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.” (2.2.33-39)
Here, Juliet is saying ‘why are you Romeo?’ meaning why is he a Montague and not a Capulet as it would mean that it would be acceptable for Juliet to love Romeo. She asks Romeo to deny being a Montague and give up his family name but if he does not want to then
she says that she will. Her enemy is not Romeo himself, but his name. If he leaves his name then he will no longer be her enemy. Her feelings for Romeo are so strong that she is willing to do anything to be with him. If it is her name that is coming between them, then she will give it up. When Romeo finally speaks, Juliet tells Romeo that if the ‘kinsmen’ find him, they will kill him. However, Romeo replies by saying,
“For stony limits cannot hold love out,
And what love can do, dares love attempt.
Therefore they kinsmen are no stop to me.” (2.2.67-69)
If they found Romeo, they would kill him and therefore he would have been killed for loving someone and wanting to see them. Romeo is being courtly and saying that nothing can keep him from being with her, not even her relatives. He is trying to sound brave for Juliet and his love for Juliet is much more playful and happier than Rosaline’s, which was, at times quite depressing. The rest of their conversation is very passionate and their declaration of love for each other leads to them making vows and finally their agreement of getting married. To Romeo and Juliet, their love for each other and for being together is far more important than what is coming between them, the hatred between the families.
Another scene in the play where love and hate are closely connected is the brawl between Tybalt, Mercutio and Romeo. Romeo and Tybalt come from opposite families and are enemies, however, Romeo’s first words to Tybalt are: “Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee…” (3.1.58) Although Romeo has always despised Tybalt; he treats him as though he is family on the basis that he is Juliet’s cousin. Therefore, Romeo loves anyone who is connected to Juliet, even if it means loving someone he hates.
“…O sweet Juliet,
Thy beauty hath made me effeminate” (3.1.109-110)
Romeo states that Juliet’s beauty has made him not capable of fighting and therefore, once again, his feelings of love, overpower his feelings of hate.
On the other hand, the outcome of this scene contradicts the idea that the play is more about love. When Romeo’s interference between Tybalt and Mercutio’s fight causes the death of Mercutio, Romeo’s anger takes over. He becomes impulsive and furious and gets revenge on Tybalt by killing him. This murder causes Romeo to be banished from Verona and separated from his love, Juliet. It is hate, which causes Romeo to kill Tybalt and which splits the two lovers apart.
In Act three, scene five, Capulet tells Juliet that she is to marry Paris in a few days, however, Juliet refuses to marry him, mainly because she is already married to Romeo by this time. After a long and angry speech, Capulet says:
“Thursday is near, lay hand on heart, advise.
And you be mine, I’ll give you to my friend;
And you be not, hang, beg, starve, die in the streets,
For by my soul, I’ll ne’er acknowledge thee…” (3.5.191-194)
Capulet is both threatening and advising Juliet as he is saying that if she marries Paris then everything will turn out well and he will still acknowledge her as his daughter. However, if she does not, then he will throw her out in the streets and he will not care what happens to her for she will no longer be thought of as his daughter. He says this partly out of love as he thinks it will make Juliet happy, but his words are harsh and painful for Juliet to hear from her father. He is angry that Juliet is disobeying him and does not know how to handle it as he is surprised. Therefore, I think this scene is about both love and hate but neither feeling is stronger.
The relationship between the Nurse and Juliet provides a theme of parental love, as stated before. The Nurse is Juliet’s best friend but is better described as a mother figure for her as she does everything any loving mother would do. The Nurse cares for Juliet, knows exactly when she was born and has fond memories of her childhood. She also acts like a messenger, when she meets with Romeo to discuss wedding plans for him and Juliet. Juliet often turns to the Nurse for advice, saying: . However, a few days before Juliet has to marry Paris, the Nurse almost changes her role and is no longer there to support Juliet with her relationship with Romeo, but agrees with Capulet that she should marry Paris. Juliet is outraged and asks the nurse to leave. The fact that Juliet has gone from looking up to the nurse to never trusting her in the space of less than one scene shows the nature of love and hate in the same way that Romeo felt he was in love with Rosaline, until he met Juliet. The one person Juliet felt she could always rely on is no longer there to help her and she is devastated. The way Juliet treats the Nurse also indicates that she is like her mother as she often treats the Nurse the way teenagers would probably treat their own mothers. Romeo also has the same kind of relationship with the Friar. He acts as a father figure throughout the play. Right from the beginning, this parental love is shown as he advises Romeo about his feelings for Juliet and tells him to “love moderately.” When Romeo kills Tybalt, he hides in Friar Laurence’s cell and the Friar tells him that he has been banished. Romeo becomes hysterical and thinks that banishment is worse than death. The Friar tries to talk some sense into Romeo but soon his sympathy turns to impatience and tells Romeo to spend the night with Juliet and leave in the morning. The Friar is constantly taking care of not only Romeo’s problems, but Juliet’s as well, by giving her the sleeping potion. Although the Friar’s help turns out to cause more problems than solve them, his intention was good and he can be seen as a caring and loving character. In the ending of the play, the love between Romeo and Juliet, which was destined for destruction causes their deaths and from that, the ending of the feud. “Capulet: O brother Montague, give me thy hand. This is my daughter’s jointure, for no more Can I demand. Montague: But I can give thee more. For I will raise her statue in pure gold… Capulet: As rich shall Romeo by his lady lie, Poor sacrifices of our enmity.” (5.3.294-303) Capulet and Montague make peace with each other after seeing that their children were so in love with each other that they sacrificed their lives for one another. The last line means that Romeo and Juliet’s deaths were because of the hate between the two families, but it is love that brings them together. Therefore, after analysing the love and hate sides of Romeo and Juliet, I have come to the conclusion that it is more about love than hate. This is due to the fact that throughout the play, love overcomes hate except for a few scenes. In addition, by the end of play, Romeo and Juliet are in love with each other so much that they kill themselves, and consequently the parents forget the hate that they possess for each other.
By Grace Contomichalos