Boldwood’s love for Bathsheba is very different to the love that Gabriel feels for Bathsheba. At the beginning of the chapter when Boldwood is coming see Bathsheba Hardy writes, ‘But the argument now came back as sorry gleams from a broken mirror.’ Here Hardy talks about the fact that Boldwood’s love is only based on hope. Hardy mentions hope a couple of times at the beginning of the chapter, another example is, ‘That Bathsheba was a firm and positive girl/ had been the very lung of his hope.’ Here Boldwood thinks that because she is a ‘firm and positive girl’ she would perhaps marry him. Hardy suggests this by telling the reader directly what Boldwood is thinking.
The type of love that Boldwood feels for Bathsheba is very obsessive and he scares her. When Bathsheba rejected his hand in marriage, Boldwood blamed Troy because he said, ‘Why did not Troy leave my treasure alone?’ In this instance Boldwood blames Troy but apart from that Hardy shows us that Boldwood’s love is really possessive because he called Bathsheba his ‘treasure.’ Hardy uses imagery so the reader can picture the scene also Hardy indicates that this is perhaps not such a good thing because Boldwood said this remark fiercely and he scared Bathsheba because she whispered her reply. Boldwood shows has a harsh grudge against Troy and Hardy shows this by how Boldwood blames Troy for stealing his ‘treasure’ and ‘robbing him.’ This shows Boldwood’s obsession with Bathsheba. At this time Bathsheba is rather frightened of Boldwood and does not like him at all and therefore this makes the reader dislike this person because Hardy made Bathsheba dislike him.
Boldwood and Gabriel’s loves are very different but at times there might be a slight similarity between the two. The two are similar because when the both go and ask for Bathsheba’s hand in marriage they both beg her at first. In the end Gabriel gives up hope and leaves, however this is very different to Boldwood’s actions. Boldwood continues to plead her and blames her and Troy. Hardy suggests this is not good because of the language that Boldwood uses and the things that he says. For example Boldwood says, ‘your new freak was my misery’ ‘I’ll punish him-by my soul, that I will!’ Here Boldwood is talking about revenge on Troy. His love for Bathsheba has made him go insane. Boldwood also says, ‘He stole you in my absence and robbed me’ ‘Before he worried you, your inclination was to have me.’
Another example of how hardy shows that Boldwood’s love is wrong is because the reader can see Boldwood through Bathsheba’s eyes. The reader is able to see that he terrifies her. Hardy suggests that this type of love is not good because love should never terrify you but instead excite you. For example the way in which Troy excites Bathsheba. An example of Hardy telling us directly about Bathsheba’s reaction to Boldwood is, ‘His unreasonable anger terrified her.’ Also Bathsheba’s speech tells the reader that she is scared of him and tries to defend herself. She uses her gender in this case to stand up for herself. Hardy makes Bathsheba do this so we can realise of how scared she is of him, Bathsheba used to be wild and in control of herself but now only to defend herself and stop him from speaking so ruthlessly to her she used her sex. Bathsheba said, ‘I am only a girl – do not speak to me so.’
Another way in which Hardy shows us Boldwood’s anger is when Boldwood accepts that Bathsheba does not love him. This sudden change of attitude shows us the way in which Boldwood can make Bathsheba feel. This is one of the many styles that Hardy uses to make Bathsheba feel guilty for what she has done. This would not be regarded as a good type of love. An example of Boldwood’s sudden change in manner is when he says, ‘Say Bathsheba, that you only wrote that refusal to me in fun- come say it to me!’ This type of love is very different from Gabriel’s love. The dialogue in the whole chapter was rather bitter and it was Boldwood who was saying practically all the harsh dialogue. Comparing this dialogue to the dialogue with Gabriel, Bathsheba was in control of the entire conversation and even so, Gabriel still does not get angry with her because Gabriel’s love is true and is not obsessive like Boldwood’s. Gabriel can see Bathsheba’s faults and knows she is not perfect because in the first chapter when he sees her for the first time looking at herself in the mirror, he knows at once that she is vain and he says, ‘But she has her faults.’ This is very different to Boldwood’s attitude towards Bathsheba because he just adores her and can never find a single fault in her because of his obsession with her. Also Bathsheba feels comfortable and relaxed with Gabriel because they become good friends due to Gabriel’s patience, so Hardy suggests that this type of love is good. An example of Bathsheba being relaxed around Gabriel is in the chapter, ‘Particulars of a Twilight Walk’ when they both talk really light-heartedly about Bathsheba’s love dilemma. Also another example is in the chapter ‘The Storm’ when once again Bathsheba talks to Gabriel really affectionately like a really close friend. An example of Bathsheba’s closeness to Gabriel is when she asks for his opinion because it matters to her. She asks, ‘And you blamed me for it?’ and she asks this rather comfortably and frankly.
In chapter 38, ‘Rain-One Solitary meets another’, Hardy makes a direct comparison between the two characters, Boldwood and Gabriel, by placing them together in the same scene. By comparing the two characters the reader can come to their own conclusions on which type of love is best Gabriel still seems to care for Bathsheba and he only wants to see her happy and his affection for her is shown by him working really hard on her farm and looking after it for her sake. Gabriel is shown to be really kind and hardly ever blames Bathsheba because he loves her. At the beginning of the chapter Gabriel was about to blame Bathsheba because he always tries his best to help her so he can receive her love in return, but however hard Gabriel tries he still is unable to receive her love and this makes him slightly angry, but he controls himself. This shows the forgiving and caring personality that Gabriel has and that his love is true and pure. An example of this situation is when Gabriel begins blame her and he thinks, ‘As for her’ but then Hardy tells us, ‘But Oak was generous and true and dismissed his reflections.’ On the other hand Boldwood is very different to Gabriel because instead of caring for Bathsheba, Boldwood is still dwelling on the fact that Bathsheba does not wish to marry him and Hardy also shows, by the conversation that that Boldwood and Gabriel have, that Boldwood is mentally and physically distracted and disturbed. An example of this type of behaviour is when Boldwood says, ‘I feel it is better to die than to live!’ He says this because of Bathsheba denied his hand in marriage. An example of Boldwood being physically altered is when Hardy describes to us how Boldwood looks. Hardy writes, ‘with a carelessness which was like the smile on the countenance of a skull.’ When Hardy talks about ‘smile on the countenance of a skull’, Hardy suggests that Boldwood looks like death. Hardy suggests this by using a simile and mainly due to imagery, so the reader can picture exactly how Boldwood looks.
So overall Hardy tells us that good love does not change you and instead you try to receive true love by patience and by pleasing the person you love and not letting the person control your entire life so you are unable to do anything. Boldwood is a prime example of not being good because his love for Bathsheba is preventing him from doing anything because he is so preoccupied by her. Gabriel asked Boldwood whether he had checked the ricks, but Boldwood had not checked them properly because he was still completely devastated that Bathsheba did not want to marry him. So here Hardy tells us indirectly that the type of love that Boldwood feels for Bathsheba is not good because it has practically destroyed him. Boldwood even admits himself that his love for Bathsheba has ruined him because he says, ‘I am weak and foolish, and I don’t know what, and I can’t fend off my miserable grief.’ Gabriel on the other hand is perfectly back to his normal self and does not let his love for Bathsheba run his life in the way that it runs Boldwood’s life.
During the whole conversation with Boldwood, Gabriel remained very calm and understood exactly how Boldwood felt. Gabriel listened very selflessly, even though he had been through the same situation himself. Hardy writes, ‘Oak was just thinking that whatever he himself might have suffered from Bathsheba’s marriage, here was a man who had suffered more.’ In this case Hardy shows us Boldwood through the eyes of Gabriel and we can comprehend more easily the state in which Boldwood was in because of his of his love for Bathsheba. However, at the end of the novel, the reader comes to the conclusion that Gabriel’s patience and polite personality helps him to make a good friendship with Bathsheba. So his patience and good manner towards the situation helps him to get the girl at the end. Basically Gabriel and Bathsheba’s love is based on friendship and Hardy suggests that this is a good type of love because both of them can talk to each other comfortably and light-heartedly. Hardy tells us directly about the type of friendship that has been formed between Bathsheba and Gabriel because in chapter 41, Hardy writes, ‘finding herself preceded in forethought by Gabriel Oak, for whom she began to entertain the genuine friendship of a sister. Of course, she sometimes thought of him in the light of an old lover, and had momentary imaginings of what life with him as a husband would have been like;’
When Gabriel intended on leaving Bathsheba and going to California, Bathsheba began to realise that she would not be able to do anything without him because he has always been there for her, for example at the time of the fire and during the storm. As well as that Gabriel has been there for her emotionally, for example when Troy died and during her dilemma regarding Boldwood and Troy. In this case Hardy suggests that true love is when you really get to know the person and you are physically and mentally incapable of living without the person. The way in which Bathsheba speaks and what she says suggests that she is not able to live without him. An example of this situation is when she says, ‘And what shall I do without you? \ Yet now that I am more helpless than ever you go away.’ To prove that Bathsheba also needs him for her emotional satisfaction she says, ‘You’ve been with me for so long- through bright times and dark times- such old friends we are.’
Another example of Gabriel’s love being true and pure is when everyone begins to tell him that he should consider marrying Bathsheba, but unlike Boldwood, Gabriel does not wish to take advantage of her vulnerable state. So here Hardy suggests that the good type of love is when you truly love the person and do not exploit the person. Hardy shows us that Gabriel’s love is good because he does not take advantage of Bathsheba’s state because his love is pure and his love for her is not selfish. An example of this is when Gabriel says, ‘And it is because of that very helplessness that I feel bound to go.’
Bathsheba, in chapter 56, begs Gabriel to stay and this chapter contradicts the previous chapter 4. These two chapters are remarkably similar in the fact that they are both associated with begging for love. In chapter 4 Gabriel begged Bathsheba to marry him and in chapter 56, Bathsheba begs Gabriel to stay because she realises the value of the friendship between the two. Hardy tells us by writing, ‘she appeared to have outlined the only true friendship she had ever owned.’ As well as Bathsheba realising the intensity of her friendship with Gabriel, she also dismisses the concept of marriage being involved as a financial agreement. For example one of Bathsheba’s excuses in chapter 4 was that he was ‘better off’ than her and that she was penniless so he could not marry her, also she told him, ‘If you marry at all to marry a woman with money.’ This shows the social context of the book when people used to marry for money. Gabriel however does not marry for money because he loves Bathsheba and this makes the reader sympathise with Gabriel. Here Hardy suggests that marrying for love is good. In the end Bathsheba too marries for love and not for money.
In conclusion Hardy, by using many different methods, tells us the type of love that Gabriel feels for Bathsheba is best. Hardy tells us that true love is when you are not selfish and think about the other person’s needs also Hardy tells us that true love comes from friendship.
