In Multicultural Britain, people from different cultures should not try to live separate lives

Authors Avatar

‘In Multicultural Britain, people from different cultures should not try to live separate lives.’

Many people from all over the world have been coming to Britain for over 2,000 years. This long history of immigration has made Britain a very diverse and culturally rich country.  Examples of this are evident in fashion, food and language. About 8% of the British population is made up of different ethnic groups; this is approximately 4.6 million people. This essay will be addressing whether people from different cultures should try to live separately or not.

Join now!

People from different cultures should not try to live separate lives as this could lead to racial segregation, misunderstanding and conflict among societies. Those who live in ‘parallel communities’ are only in contact with their own culture and ‘kind’ and so live separate lives to others in the surrounding areas. This separation can cause misunderstanding to breed which could lead to hatred and unnecessary conflict. These types of conflict have been emerging from parts of Britain between Asian and White groups, who live in ‘parallel communities’ and therefore have never had the chance to meet. The benefits of having more ...

This is a preview of the whole essay

Here's what a star student thought of this essay

Avatar

The Quality of Written Communication is also very good. There is a range of sentences structures, punctuation points and challenging vocabulary used and all are spelt accurately.

The level of Analysis shown by this candidate is very good and is indicative of a candidate working at a low A grade for GCSE. They consider many factors influencing why and why not a foreign immigrant might conform and presents a very balanced argument in receipt of it. Balance is key in arguments, as it shows an understanding and appreciation of the counter-argument and this is an imperative requirement for higher ability candidates. The key is not to emphasise on the counter-argument too much though, as it can lead to unbalancing the argument and not in the candidate's favour. This candidate however, has done well to avoid this, touching on the counter-argument then rationalising a response to fight against that, as well as the original discussion steer. A very good response indeed.

This is a Writing to Argue task and the answer given is very coherent and extremely well-focused. In this question, no direction is given in terms of which way the candidate can argue. It is up to them to decide whether to argue for or against the idea that people from different cultures should engage and embrace our society. This candidate displays a very well-focused answer that is consistently questioning the validity of conformity pressure and also considers the counter-argument of alienation and stereotyping. Through the response they link directly back to the discussion agenda and in their closing paragraph (which really should be separate from the rest of the last paragraph, as the conclusion is not apparent) they once again relate straight back to the question with a very resound decision after having consulted a number of reason why and why not someone should conform to our society if they live here.