The pigs replied, “Your shock tactics hold no fear for pigs defending their homes and culture!”
But the wolf was not the type to be denied what he believed to be his obvious destiny, so he huffed and puffed and blew down the Australian pig’s house of straw. The pigs, shocked at the wolf’s ability to blow down a house in a single breathe, ran for the house of sticks belonging to Mr France. Along came the wolf and again knocked on the door, shouting “Altitudinal disadvantaged pigs, let me in!”
To the wolf’s dismay, the pigs replied, “No way, you carnivorous, imperialistic oppressor!”
The wolf angrily huffed and puffed and blew down the house of sticks. The frightened pigs ran to the brick house, where Mr America ran to the cupboard and pulled out a shotgun. Mr France and Mr Australia figured Mr America had become temporarily reality-challenged, so they slowly explained to him that it was a crime to create a permanent state of metabolic dormancy. Mr America ignored the unjust self-esteem reducer aimed at him, and waited patiently for the wolf to show his aesthetically challenged face.
The wolf, however, had become quite rest challenged, and took a detour to the service station. After becoming locationally disadvantaged, the wolf stumbled upon a small, economically marginalised store. As he entered, the wolf became rather satisfaction deprived that there was no milk in the fridge, but rows and rows of Coke. The salesperson explained to the wolf, “Fresh milk is too unaffordable to supply to the community.” Disgusted, the wolf slurped down a 2-litre bottle of Coke, and was soon on his way to the little brick house.
Still fuming at the pigs’ refusal to see the situation from the carnivore’s point of view, he arrived at the brick house anticipating his well-earned mean. Again, he knocked on door and shouted “Size-challenged pigs, size-challenged pigs, let me in.” Unfortunately for the wolf, Mr America didn’t hesitate to metabolically disable the wolf. The Australian and French pigs were shocked at the American pigs’ socially misaligned strategy, and wrote letters of complaint to the U.N. However, it didn’t take long to convince Mr France and Mr Australia that Mr America wasn’t ethically challenged.
The three pigs had a meeting, where Mr America persuaded Mr Australia and Mr France that justice had prevailed, and it was time to liberate their homeland. They successfully achieved this, and set up a model socialist democracy with free education, universal health care and affordable housing for everyone. There was to be no economically disadvantaged, monetarily challenged, residentially flexible, outdoor urban people, (well, it is a fairy tale after all!). When it was time for Mr France and Mr Australia to reconstruct their houses, Mr America was appalled to see his companions building their houses out of sticks and straw again. However, these two pigs were actually very cerebrally gifted, and were secretly aware that Mr America would always save them, just as he did in WWI and WWII, so they could afford to be unprepared!
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Politically Correct Dictionary
