In English Chelsea started to ask questions again, she was very inquisitive always needing to know everything about everybody.
‘Where is your dad at the moment?’
‘Mexican gulf, waiting for instructions.’
‘Really? That’s not what you said earlier.’
‘When you lie, always stick to your story,’ was another saying that would have helped me at this point. But I knew she had worked it out, she was always doubling back, checking me, and because I wasn’t the brightest of girls, new stories came out, no one else thought of it, but Chelsea was different, she always had to know, and this time she did, there was no use in hiding it.
‘Chelsea, please don’t tell anyone, please-. I hate my life and everything in it. The only way I can feel safe is to lie, what else can I do?’ I was grovelling at her feet, and power surged over her.
The next week was horrible. I became her dogsbody, doing whatever she told me to, hoping she wouldn’t tell anyone else. I kept up the pretence of my stature, but it was easier now, no one else asked questions, and now Chelsea knew, stories just rolled off my tongue. How could I ever have trusted Chelsea? She used her newfound power against me, always picking at me knowing that I wouldn’t retaliate. I realised that although it had helped me in the beginning, the lie had hurt me even more. I had to get rid of it. I was too late. Chelsea had thrown it back in my face.
The next morning at school I walked into the classroom, everyone was happily talking until they saw me. I walked into a silent form, my footsteps echoing against the walls. Chelsea gave me a cold stare. Most mornings my friends would say hi and crowd around me, but they all followed Chelseas lead ignoring me. I was invisible.
It felt like ages, but they began talking again. I sat at my desk trying to listen to them, dropping my head when they said my name, giving me a quick dry glance and laughing. The laugh I had perfected so well. I hated being rejected.
The day dragged out, each lesson I could see them sniggering. I didn’t even bother asking what I had done, Chelsea had already twisted them around her story, and surely none of them would want to know me after I had lied to them.
Every night I walked half way home with another girl from my year, Alice, not a close friend, but compared to my other ‘friends’ she was the best. I was feeling so down that I didn’t realise that she was still walking with me.
‘What happened to the mansion?’
‘What mansion?’ I had forgotten, but how did everyone know? I tried to hide it but she knew.
‘The one that everyone says you live in.’
‘Oh -, that one -, - well –‘ quickly trying to think of an excuse, but I couldn’t hide it.
‘Well what?’
‘I lied – ‘ finally I was free; it was no longer something I had to hide. It felt as if a huge weight had lifted off of my chest.
She came inside and we went upstairs. I explained everything, crying, about my real dad and the house. She just sat there, comforting me like a real friend would.
I cleaned myself up and we went downstairs for tea. I introduced Alice to my mum and we ate, talking normally around the table. Alice left soon after, and my mum came up to my room and sat me down on the bed.
‘What’s going on?’ my mum is kind and understanding. I felt that I could tell her anything, ‘ we have been here three months, you always talk about your friends, but you never invite them over, and out of the blue, this Alice comes over who I have never heard of, what has happened?’
‘Well -,’ breaking off, trying to think of an excuse, and eventually bursting into tears collapsing into my mothers arms. ‘I lied to them mum, and now none of them will talk to me.’ There was no way I could blame anyone else so I told her everything.
‘None of them liked me when I started, I mean look at me, I’m ugly, stupid and don’t have a ‘cool’ bone in my body. So I started to make up stuff, like that we, -‘ pausing again, how could I tell my mum, ‘ that we didn’t live here, - that we lived in a big house, and dad, - dad was a hero, saving children thrown overboard from his boat in storms. Oh mum, what have I done? I only wanted to fit in, it wasn’t meant to carry on.’ I didn’t realise that I had upset her, she just looked at me, and I knew she was hurt.
‘Am I not good enough?’ she began to cry, ‘ do you not have everything you want?’ I didn’t know what to say, I had hurt my mum just to make myself feel better. I felt so ungrateful and cried myself to sleep.
I walked to school on my own, crying under my hood. The day was as bad as yesterday, constant sniggering and pointing. I tried to block it out but it just kept reminding me even more. If only I had friends who liked me for me.
Being cast away from my friends, I sat next to Alice. Knowing I didn’t have to lie and tell stories, she told me them. I felt at ease with her, and we stayed together all day, but Chelsea couldn’t see me have fun. She came over and started talking to Alice. Alice just stood there, nodding her head. Chelsea couldn’t understand why she wasn’t bowing down to her, so she walked off muttering something about me under her breath.
‘How’d you do that?’
‘I only talk to people I like, Chelsea is manipulative, how could you not see that she was just using you?’ I knew she was right. All Chelsea ever wanted was to put me down, and she had managed, but now I knew it, it didn’t upset me.
The whole year ignored me for a while, but I didn’t care, I didn’t have to lie anymore. I had a real friend who I felt comfortable with, and my mum knew that I was sorry, reminding me that, ‘honesty is the best policy.’
