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Letters to Alice.

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Manor House Crythin Gyfford Yorkshire October 12th 1864 First Letter Dearest Alice, Next week father is taking us to London for three days, I just wondered if you would like to come with us? I miss you dear sister as I haven't seen you since your marriage, when are you going to come home? I have another purpose in writing to you. I have something very important to tell you, but I don't know how to tell you and I don't know how you'll respond, I don't know how to say this, how can I tell you, the news is so shameful ............ I'm pregnant! But you have to believe me it wasn't my fault, I didn't mean for it to happen. I was seduced and abandoned. None of it is my fault! It isn't fair your life has always gone the way you planned and mine was just ruined just like that, it wasn't my fault mother and father were always good to you. Mother and Father will probably disown me when they find out that I'm pregnant. What will I do to provide for myself? How will I survive? Please I'm begging you please help me the child's father has abandoned me and gone abroad, I don't know what to do, you're my only hope. It wasn't my fault you have to believe me. He lied to me and then he went and abandoned me. ...read more.


Alice: Jennet what do you think you are doing in my house? Get out get out right now! I told you not to come in here without my permission so you must leave immediately. You're not welcome here leave Nathaniel and me alone! He's mine and you're unwelcome in this house. Jennet: He's not yours, I gave birth to him, Nathaniel is my son, I told you he'll never be yours you sad miserable creature! Just because you can't have children of your own doesn't give you the right to steal other peoples. (Jennet picks up a small wooden bat and attempts to strike Alice who attempts to calm her) Alice: Calm down Jennet, you're only making things worse for yourself. You must learn to control your emotions it's not good for you or the child. Please put down the bat you might hurt or scare Nathaniel. (Nathaniel is sat huddled up in a corner of the room crying and looking very depressed, Jennet goes and picks him up and starts walking for the door. At this point Nathaniel breaks into a tantrum of weeps ad sobs) Alice: What are you doing! Jennet please put Nathaniel down look at him, you've scared him, and you're not doing the either of you any good! Jennet: How do you know what's good for my child? Leave me alone, we'll cope I can provide for him, I'm his mother, not you! ...read more.


As soon as she regained control of her senses she was too late. There was no sign of the pony and trap left and suddenly she realised what had happened and fell to the ground and started weeping. It was at that moment that she realised the true extent of her pain "Nethaniel is dead, I will never see my darling son ever again he is lost from me for ever. How will I cope? The only thing that kept me going was knowing that my son lived, that he was happy and that one-day we might be reunited and would spend the rest of our days together. But now, that cannot happen I can never be happy! It was all Alice's fault; it was her fault that Nethaniel was on that blasted pony and trap". She lay on her bed weeping, being comforted by her husband. What need has she of comfort? She cannot feel a real mother's loss! I wish she where here right now so I could make her feel the pain that I feel now .I would kill her with my bare hands! I would attack her with such malice that even Satan would bow down before me. Let her feel some of the pain, which is tearing me, apart. If I can't be happy no one will, I will destroy every family that I can. I had my son, my whole world was taken from me and there was nothing I could do about it. But I vow now that others will share my pain why should there be happiness for others when I was denied it? ...read more.

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