Sexual abuse is making you do sexual things that you don't want to do. Forcing you to have sex is a criminal offence, even if you are married.
Stalking is when a partner or ex-partner follows you around, or repeatedly tries to contact you, even if you've said you don't want this.
Physical abuse includes pushing, hitting, throwing objects, or threatening to physically harm you, other people, or pets.
How might this be affecting me?
All forms of abuse have damaging consequences. Your confidence can become worn down by abuse.
If you have been in an abusive relationship you may feel:
- Afraid to tell anyone
- Worried that it's your fault
- Depressed and alone
- Confused
- Scared of coping on your own
- Scared it will get worse if you leave
- Worried about what others will think
- Afraid that no-one will believe you
- Frustrated and sad because you've tried everything.
Children are also affected if they live in a home where there is abuse. Remember, you're not to blame for the abuse. You have a right to feel safe and to live a life free from intimidation.
There are many common ideas about why violence occurs:
- He had a sad or difficult upbringing.
- He drinks too much.
- He has a stressful job.
- He can't control his anger.
- Something about you causes him to abuse you.
At times, we all experience stress, trauma, anger and fear. An abusive person may use these things as excuses for their behaviour, but really they behave this way to try to control what you do.
It may help to look at the ways you've coped until now:
You may have:
- 'tiptoed' around his moods
- seen less of your friends and family
- changed your behaviour according to what he says he wants
-
tried hard to protect the kids from seeing or hearing the abuse
- attempted to talk to him about his behaviour
- tried to fight back against the abuse.
Give yourself credit for everything you tried. But in the end, only he can change his behaviour.
Ninety-two percent of American women rank domestic and sexual violence as one of their top priorities. One out of every three women experiences at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood, according to a 1996 study by the American Psychological Association.
"47% of all women will be raped in their lifetimes” and "six out of 10 married couples have experienced violence." For "offences against family and children" the increase in arrests for women over 18 rose by over 235%, which was all said by researcher Robert Fulford.
Domestic violence is a problem of epidemic proportions in our country and community. Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives, according to a 1998 Commonwealth Fund survey. Women are victims of domestic violence much more often than men are. In 2001, the U.S. Department of Justice found that more than half a million American women (588,490 women) were victims of nonfatal violence committed by intimate partners. That same year, women accounted for 85 percent of the victims of intimate partner violence.
Women are more likely than men to be severely injured as a result of intimate partner violence. Women are seven to 14 times more likely than men to report suffering severe physical assaults from an intimate partner, according to a 1998 study conducted by the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Institute for Justice.
40-60% of men who abuse women also abuse children.
